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girlfriend speaks about previous relationships
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Author:  evoh_1 [ Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:33 pm ]
Post subject:  girlfriend speaks about previous relationships
Just wanted to ask this.

My GF spends alot of time talking about stuff she has done with previous BFs and shit like that which doesn't bother me that much but can be a bit annoying at times as it seems she is focussing on past experiences rather then focussing on what is going on at the moment.

Just wanted to get your opinions on this and whether or not you think it says something or not.

cheers
Author:  Locke [ Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
some regard their current relationship as a friendship too....in which case it is okay to talk about most everything (in their minds). Keeping this freedom open and available is really good; you should not try to censor your conversations, but you should inform her that SOME things you would rather not hear about.
Author:  Sexcellent [ Mon Jan 12, 2009 7:32 am ]
Post subject: 
i've also noticed that this is similar to when a girlfriend talks about her attraction to another guy.

i'm not sure who said this, it might have been Locke, but basically it goes like this:

if she's talking about it with you, then it's either a really good thing or a really bad thing.

you want her to have this level of comfort with you, so let her do it so long as that's the only reason she's doing it. this is why it can be a very good thing. At the same time though, you want to make sure she is not doing this because she is second guessing the relationship. this is obviously a bad thing.
Author:  Locke [ Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
i've also noticed that this is similar to when a girlfriend talks about her attraction to another guy.

i'm not sure who said this, it might have been Locke, but basically it goes like this:

if she's talking about it with you, then it's either a really good thing or a really bad thing.

you want her to have this level of comfort with you, so let her do it so long as that's the only reason she's doing it. this is why it can be a very good thing. At the same time though, you want to make sure she is not doing this because she is second guessing the relationship. this is obviously a bad thing.

yea, that was me :lol:
Author:  ~V~ [ Sun Jan 25, 2009 2:39 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
i've also noticed that this is similar to when a girlfriend talks about her attraction to another guy.

i'm not sure who said this, it might have been Locke, but basically it goes like this:

if she's talking about it with you, then it's either a really good thing or a really bad thing.

you want her to have this level of comfort with you, so let her do it so long as that's the only reason she's doing it. this is why it can be a very good thing. At the same time though, you want to make sure she is not doing this because she is second guessing the relationship. this is obviously a bad thing.
Yeh I would agree with Sexcellent here,

I used to date this kinda girl ,we went on for 2 months and things got serious so I had to bail. She always used to tell me that her ex's behavior ,her memories and that he used to buy her stuff and crap like that!

It could be a good thing that you guys are open enough to talk bout that stuff and on the other hand you should consider one more point,its not really a bad thing because she is testing you to see if your the same 'man' you were when she fell for u and not just like any other AFC who just put up a pseudo character and needy guy.Its more like a shit test on a long term , she wants to know that you are comfortable and not too jealous or crazy about it.

Best thing to do is just be the ''man" and take it easy! 8)
Author:  RTTastic [ Sun Jan 25, 2009 4:16 am ]
Post subject: 
There could be one other "good" thing that could come out of this.

I'm not sure what types of things she is talking about in regards to her exes, but there are times that I will talk about things that my exes did WRONG to new potential boyfriends/lovers/etc. I do this (sometimes subconciously, only looking back do I realize I was even doing it) as a subtle way of saying "If you do these things, I'm gone...so don't mess it all up!" Girls only give those hints if they want to keep the guy around.
Author:  mattflow [ Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:16 am ]
Post subject: 
I was in this situation recently,basicly you have to work out wether you want her to go on about him or not.If it bothers you more than it dosent tell her using cocky funny tonality"man we are so getting a divorce if you go on about him anymore" then ask for her hand and pull her closer to you,its a push-pull but also subconsiously says that you guys are not married or sold on each other just yet. theres also a small chance she might be testing for jelously/insecurity traits.
One thing i learned over the years was to not take on emotional baggage from girls past experiences, listen but dont try to give her solutions or take things on board just be the hard place for her emotions to fall.
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