PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

letting gf know you think she's hot
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=35295		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Sexcellent [ Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:42 pm ]
Post subject:  letting gf know you think she's hot
one thing in pickup that i've learned is to never tell a girl you think she's hot/pretty/beautiful etc. i think we can all agree that is a pretty standard rule for PUA's. i think it works very well too.

My Question:
does this apply in the relationship?

i've carried that mentality into my current relationship and i wonder if it's holding me back. don't get me wrong... at select opportunities i've told her "you look pretty tonight" when she gets all dressed up and stuff. i just wonder whether or not i should say it more.

the reason i ask is that recently my gf was telling me about little kid who tells her stuf like "you're so pretty". sometimes i wonder if she is trying to communicate to me that she doesn't feel pretty and she wants validation from me. the other night we were having sexy time and i said "i want you" and she seems to have responded well and got very excited.

i once heard that the only time you should says stuff like this is in bed. don't compliments like this sacrifice your frame?

what are your thoughts on this?
Author:  flypapermeems [ Tue Dec 23, 2008 4:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
in picking someone up, i can see not telling her she's pretty/cute/hot/whatever. definitely can work to advantage.

however! you have no idea how much it means to have that validation from your bf/significant other. definitely tell your girl that she's pretty when you think she is. it means a lot. if you love her, say so. if she's cute, say so. if she's ugly, don't bother saying anything :P
a caution: don't say it all the time. overused phrases get very old and lose their meaning. but say it if you mean it. girls need to hear that now and then.
Author:  Killians [ Tue Dec 23, 2008 5:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yes definitely. As a relationship progresses its natural to stop giving compliments because being with the person you just assume he/she knows that you find them attractive. If she gets dressed up to go out and you think she looks amazing tell her!

No, compliments wont sacrifice your frame. It means even more to receive a compliment from someone that rarely gives them away. A tough confident guy is incredibly sexy when he can do a few things: a) apologize b) compliment c) show a little modesty.
Author:  flypapermeems [ Tue Dec 23, 2008 5:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
A tough confident guy is incredibly sexy when he can do a few things: a) apologize b) compliment c) show a little modesty.
HEAR HEAR!!!
Author:  Sexcellent [ Tue Dec 23, 2008 10:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
some good imput here.

i'm finding more and more that relaionships seem to be about BALANCE.

unlike pickup where you have to stick to a certain mentaility and strategy, relationships will fail if you only use that strategy. you have to mix things up and act differently at different times.

it's almost as if, in a relationship, one must be both PUA and AFC in order to keep her with you.
Author:  alf_p [ Tue Dec 23, 2008 11:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
it's almost as if, in a relationship, one must be both PUA and AFC in order to keep her with you.
I am just a n00b. But my impression is that the problem with compliments is that you are supplicating, i.e. trying to gain her approval by giving her compliments. If you know that "you are the prize" and you are acting out this belief congruently, then complimenting her should not be a problem.
Author:  flypapermeems [ Thu Dec 25, 2008 8:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
i'm finding more and more that relaionships seem to be about BALANCE.
i think you have hit it on the nose with that. balance is key in a lot of things, and importantly in relationships.
Author:  TheAce [ Fri Dec 26, 2008 12:34 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

however! you have no idea how much it means to have that validation from your bf/significant other.
And you don't want her looking else where for this validation.
Author:  G.L [ Fri Dec 26, 2008 10:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Sexcellent, how many times do I have to tell you that your girlfriend isn't some cold approach!!! :P I'm glad the girls seemed to straighten you out, though.
LMAO!
hahah, but no, i don't think it applies in a relationship; simply because it varies with many people. My current gf is rather high maintenance, and she constantly seeks validation from me; so when she deserves it i give her the "yes you do look gorgeous speech."
then again dont over due it. everything pretty much already covered here..
Author:  Whoopie [ Sat Dec 27, 2008 6:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Sexcellent, I am going to let you in on a little secret I did with my ex girlfriend.

I only gave them compliments if they deserved it. For me to compliment a girl takes alot, but when I give it, It comes with alot of power and emotions behind him.

You can teach your girlfriend to want validation/compliments. My ex's knew if they got all dressed up and looked very sexy. That I would give them a compliment. So if they ever need validation from me they would look all nice and cute for me. Instead of giving "That" speech. I know all guys have had that speech before.
Author:  flypapermeems [ Sat Dec 27, 2008 5:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
yea, it is important to give genuine compliments. meaning, don't tell her stuff just to make her feel good. be honest.

but on the other hand, if you ONLY compliment her when she went all out to look cute, that does make her think she has to do that all the time. now i don't know about you guys, but if a guy is going to insist that i look perfect all the time, screw that. i have a lot to do, and i don't always have time to go all out. appreciate her effort, but if she feels like you only are after her when she's "hot" then she may just give it up to find someone who really appreciates her.
just a caution.
Author:  StaceyJaxx [ Sat Dec 27, 2008 7:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
if you ONLY compliment her when she went all out to look cute, that does make her think she has to do that all the time. now i don't know about you guys, but if a guy is going to insist that i look perfect all the time, screw that. i have a lot to do, and i don't always have time to go all out. appreciate her effort, but if she feels like you only are after her when she's "hot" then she may just give it up to find someone who really appreciates her.
just a caution.
So... true... the biggest smiles come from the compliments - that are made genuinely, when she's not expecting it. She expects it when she's done up - but if you can find a moment to show her you're still looking at her with stars in your eyes when she's let her guard down and allowed herself to be comfortable with you and not "done up" - it builds your relationship stronger.
Author:  Whoopie [ Sun Dec 28, 2008 3:13 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

but on the other hand, if you ONLY compliment her when she went all out to look cute, that does make her think she has to do that all the time. now i don't know about you guys, but if a guy is going to insist that i look perfect all the time, screw that. i have a lot to do, and i don't always have time to go all out. appreciate her effort, but if she feels like you only are after her when she's "hot" then she may just give it up to find someone who really appreciates her.
just a caution.
Now Fly, A girl can be very cute even in just sweatpants. I am just honest and I know what I like.
Author:  David~ [ Mon Dec 29, 2008 7:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Think of calling your girlfriend hot/sexy/beautiful as doggy treats.

Use them as a reward system and do NOT say it frequently. It will diminish the value of your compliments.
Author:  flypapermeems [ Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Think of calling your girlfriend hot/sexy/beautiful as doggy treats.

Use them as a reward system and do NOT say it frequently. It will diminish the value of your compliments.
absolutely. but heartfelt, not just training a puppy :P
Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/