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is my girlfriend a lesbian?
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Author:  anon90210 [ Fri Jun 23, 2017 3:57 am ]
Post subject:  is my girlfriend a lesbian?

So I've been dating this girl for like 2 months...

Long story short when she was growing up her father molested her...

I feel like she might just hate men because of it now and maybe she's a little bit lesbian.

We have sex quite often but she never wants to play with my dick or give me head or Initiate sex. I initiate sex every time and I have talked to her about it and she says that she's working on it and that she has intimacy issues. Like it seems that she is scared of dicks, besides having one in her.

I'm just wondering if she is a lesbian. I know that's some serious messed up traumatic shit, but can things change your sexual orientation? It seems like she has very little arousal for me and she is hungry for an orgasm, not for me in particular. I know she has made out with girls (everyone has these days) but I just am getting that vibe now.

She says it's not really fair for me that our sex live is 100% on me, but that she is working on herself.

That sounds cool but like if you're not gay why doesn't my dick arouse her? What is there to work on In regards to enjoying penis?

I've asked her if she's ever "talked" to a girl and she said not seriously, pretty sure she is confused about her sexuality and hates men because of her father and actually wants to fuck women now, even though she wouldn't tell me that.

Anybody have experience with this? I definitely do not.

Author:  n2thevoid [ Fri Jun 23, 2017 6:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: is my girlfriend a lesbian?

lol

Author:  R.C [ Fri Jun 23, 2017 7:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: is my girlfriend a lesbian?

Bring another girl to the bedroom. See how it goes.

Author:  Slick_uk [ Fri Jun 23, 2017 7:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: is my girlfriend a lesbian?

OP, I think this issue is far beyond the remit of anyone here. Your girlfriend needs to see someone about this and there may be deep psychological issues present that lie deeper than your dick.

Is she/had she thought of counselling?

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Jun 23, 2017 12:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: is my girlfriend a lesbian?

Quote:
is my girlfriend a lesbian?
For your sake, and all of mankind, let's hope so.

Why are you harboring a broken girl anyway?
Do you feel obligated? Or are you concerned she'll leak out the contents of your sex toy drawer?

Author:  anon90210 [ Fri Jun 23, 2017 1:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: is my girlfriend a lesbian?

Ya she is seeing someone professionally. I guess these
Things came up recently.

Author:  masterm1ne [ Fri Jun 23, 2017 1:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: is my girlfriend a lesbian?

I would expect this type of intimacy issue from someone that was abused...

I have had experience through work with people that have been abused, they usually have specific boundaries related to the abuse they suffered.

Author:  Eddie Fews [ Fri Jun 23, 2017 1:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: is my girlfriend a lesbian?

You're pretty much answering your own question here and appear to be only coming here so you can vent.

A girl was molested by her own father; someone she looks to for protection. And this, she developed intimacy issues with men. Thats self explanatory. What exactly are you looking for us to tell you? What I will say though, is that being that it's only 2 months you have to realize that this is just the beginning. Ask yourself if you're sure this is something you want to get invovled with.

It's a pua forum is you can easily get a new girl without these issues.

Author:  anon90210 [ Fri Jun 23, 2017 4:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: is my girlfriend a lesbian?

Quote:
Quote:
is my girlfriend a lesbian?
For your sake, and all of mankind, let's hope so.

Why are you harboring a broken girl anyway?
Do you feel obligated? Or are you concerned she'll leak out the contents of your sex toy drawer?
This wasn't exactly day 1 information. Not something I could have guessed. And I don't feel like I should abandon someone I like because of trauma in their past. If this is something that will improve with time
And she's not a lesbian then this won't be a deal breaker for me as long as there is consistent progress.

She told me that this isn't what I signed up for and if I want out its no hard feelings, but I'm not tryna go that route if those issues are improving.

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Jun 23, 2017 4:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: is my girlfriend a lesbian?

Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
is my girlfriend a lesbian?
For your sake, and all of mankind, let's hope so.

Why are you harboring a broken girl anyway?
Do you feel obligated? Or are you concerned she'll leak out the contents of your sex toy drawer?
This wasn't exactly day 1 information. Not something I could have guessed. And I don't feel like I should abandon someone I like because of trauma in their past. If this is something that will improve with time
And she's not a lesbian then this won't be a deal breaker for me as long as there is consistent progress.

She told me that this isn't what I signed up for and if I want out its no hard feelings, but I'm not tryna go that route if those issues are improving.
At the risk of being a dick here Bro, I gotta then ask you why you're on a forum dedicated to picking up other women? And I'm guessing this is the hottest girl you've ever been with?

Author:  n2thevoid [ Fri Jun 23, 2017 4:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: is my girlfriend a lesbian?

Understand you cannot FIX, however a solid stable and secure relationship can help another person heal in spite of whatever damaged past they may have.

That said, is this something you want to venture on only 2 months in as you're likely going to encounter more than the standard amount of resistance.

If your needs aren't being met so early on, and sex is kind of a big deal in establishing intimacy and enhancing connection. Unless you're a Eunuch is this something you really want to embark upon? Or perhaps you'd be better served finding someone more congenial to your needs.

W respect to abandonment either thats your excuse to hold onto the attachment, or you're contending with feelings of guilt for thoughts of dumping her. I don't mind sounding glib in saying that it really comes down to you silently suffering only to be sparing her feelings in the short term - in either case she'll suffer and so will you.

If you want to work on this with her, go ahead and do so with the utmost of intentionality accepting whatever consequences are tied into this. Remember, where you're at in life at this current moment is a result of the lump sum of decisions you've made to this point. This is your decision, make whatever one you feel will help you grow more as a person.

Author:  anon90210 [ Fri Jun 23, 2017 5:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: is my girlfriend a lesbian?

I hopped up on this forum when I was like 15, I'm 23 now. I have
The picking up other women part of my life under control so that's not the problem. But I know this one girl who had the same scenario and
She is a lesbian, and another Girl I used to sleep with had the same scenario and her sex was quite normal.

So i was wondering if trauma like this could change someone's sexual orientation and Maybe now
She is gravitating towards being a lesbian and just doesn't know it yet. Maybe she thinks her trauma makes her not comfortable with penises, and maybe that feeling can turn a girl towards other girls.i just don't know a lot about this and nobody really should since it is quite dark.

At the risk of being a dick here Bro, I gotta then ask you why you're on a forum dedicated to picking up other women? And I'm guessing this is the hottest girl you've ever been with?[/quote]

Author:  anon90210 [ Fri Jun 23, 2017 5:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: is my girlfriend a lesbian?

Quote:
Understand you cannot FIX, however a solid stable and secure relationship can help another person heal in spite of whatever damaged past they may have.

That said, is this something you want to venture on only 2 months in as you're likely going to encounter more than the standard amount of resistance.

If your needs aren't being met so early on, and sex is kind of a big deal in establishing intimacy and enhancing connection. Unless you're a Eunuch is this something you really want to embark upon? Or perhaps you'd be better served finding someone more congenial to your needs.

W respect to abandonment either thats your excuse to hold onto the attachment, or you're contending with feelings of guilt for thoughts of dumping her. I don't mind sounding glib in saying that it really comes down to you silently suffering only to be sparing her feelings in the short term - in either case she'll suffer and so will you.

If you want to work on this with her, go ahead and do so with the utmost of intentionality accepting whatever consequences are tied into this. Remember, where you're at in life at this current moment is a result of the lump sum of decisions you've made to this point. This is your decision, make whatever one you feel will help you grow more as a person.
Yes, you are right. I don't mean to catastrophize this situation. Thank you

Author:  neo87 [ Fri Jun 23, 2017 6:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: is my girlfriend a lesbian?

So... The problem is she doesn't like playing with your dick and does not initiate sex. If you had not even mentioned the molestation this would be a common problem for guys here. Could be the molestation is part of it. Could be the sex isn't good. No idea why you'd jump to lesbian and all that. She's having sex not initiating it.. Many non molestation threads here with this same problem. Is the sex good? Are you good at sex? I think rushing to she's a lesbian cause she doesn't play with dick and doesn't initiate is hasty. When you say she is hungry for an orgasm and not you... That sounds to me like it's sexual incompatibility more so than trauma.

Author:  anon90210 [ Fri Jul 07, 2017 5:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: is my girlfriend a lesbian?

Been a few more weeks.

Anyway we're looking for a girl to join us in bed now... So she is at least a tad bisexual. Probably more than she will admit. I knew I wasn't crazy.

Took a little longer to warm up in bed for obvious reasons, but it really Was just some mental obstacles to get over. Said that a dick in her mouth used to cause flashbacks.

Thanks for the words

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