PUA Forum :: Working together, good or bad

Hi guys,

I have been dating this girl since january and its been a month that we can say that we are somehow of a couple. I'm saying somehow because I have recently told her that I loved her and that I consider her has my girlfriend. She did'nt disagree neither did she agree, but when I told her that I loved her she jumped at me to make out as crazy. We haven't had sex yet. It difficult because we both live in our parents house, and she is not ready to introduce me to her parents. Last time in my car when we were making out I put my hand in her pants and tried to reach her pussy but she removed it. She have had alreay mentionned me that she would only sleep with someone she is in love with and that she is scared of deeply falling in love with me because in that case if it doesn't work it would hurt her more. Now, we work together but we don't see each other much between our work shifts. What we usually do is stay after work to talk a little and leave. I wonder if I should keep our after work shift to a minimum because if I see her too often that attraction could fade away. I have this feeling because I feel that she is not enough attached, bond, or hold on to me. At the same time I have that feeling that if she sees me more often, I will become part of her life because she will be accustomed to seeing me. There is also another part of me that is telling whatever all that, if after work I have nothing to do and I want to see her why should I withhold myself from seeing her.

What is you guys point of view on that?

I have recently told her that I loved her and that I consider her has my girlfriend. She did'nt disagree neither did she agree

We haven't had sex yet. It difficult because we both live in our parents house

we were making out I put my hand in her pants and tried to reach her pussy but she removed it. She have had alreay mentionned me that she would only sleep with someone she is in love with and that she is scared of deeply falling in love with me because in that case if it doesn't work it would hurt her more

What I forgot to mention is that she had a boyfriend from january to march, so its only been a month that we are together. Before that we were going on dates like once a week but there were no kino. Now, we make out, hold hands while we talk or walk. Moreover this guy was her first relationship they met when she was 15 now she is 23, so they were together for 8 years.

Does that change anything guys?

It had been a year that it wasn't working between them. She knew that she didn't wanted to have a future with him. The whole time she was showing him that its not working, so he breaks up with her. Since they were together for 8 years she still had affection for him, so she didn't wanted to be the one to break up because she knew that it would make him suffer. So she was acting distant with him wishing he would break up. Which I told her its pretty childish to try this for a year, that if SHE didn't wanted to be with him SHE should be the one to break up. A week after she was single.

Where are you seeing that she's not being distant with YOU? She's doing the same thing with you and it should be showing you she ain't serious.

The fact that she was in a 8 year relationship makes the fact that she didn't have sex with you even worse. It also makes your "I love you" about 100 times as worse.

No use fellas, poor guy has gone 'Pussy Blind'.

So desperate for her, that he fails to see her bad qualities and thinks she is perfect.

He's her savior, her white knight! She has shone her beam of light upon him...

He will do her bidding.

Quote:

'Pussy Blind' definitely not literally as he's not getting any.

Author:	johnk12 [ Wed May 03, 2017 4:43 am ]
Post subject:	Working together, good or bad
Hi guys, I have been dating this girl since january and its been a month that we can say that we are somehow of a couple. I'm saying somehow because I have recently told her that I loved her and that I consider her has my girlfriend. She did'nt disagree neither did she agree, but when I told her that I loved her she jumped at me to make out as crazy. We haven't had sex yet. It difficult because we both live in our parents house, and she is not ready to introduce me to her parents. Last time in my car when we were making out I put my hand in her pants and tried to reach her pussy but she removed it. She have had alreay mentionned me that she would only sleep with someone she is in love with and that she is scared of deeply falling in love with me because in that case if it doesn't work it would hurt her more. Now, we work together but we don't see each other much between our work shifts. What we usually do is stay after work to talk a little and leave. I wonder if I should keep our after work shift to a minimum because if I see her too often that attraction could fade away. I have this feeling because I feel that she is not enough attached, bond, or hold on to me. At the same time I have that feeling that if she sees me more often, I will become part of her life because she will be accustomed to seeing me. There is also another part of me that is telling whatever all that, if after work I have nothing to do and I want to see her why should I withhold myself from seeing her. What is you guys point of view on that?

Author:	nyceboi [ Wed May 03, 2017 5:16 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Working together, good or bad
Quote: Hi guys, I have been dating this girl since january and its been a month that we can say that we are somehow of a couple. I'm saying somehow because I have recently told her that I loved her and that I consider her has my girlfriend. She did'nt disagree neither did she agree, but when I told her that I loved her she jumped at me to make out as crazy. We haven't had sex yet. It difficult because we both live in our parents house, and she is not ready to introduce me to her parents. Last time in my car when we were making out I put my hand in her pants and tried to reach her pussy but she removed it. She have had alreay mentionned me that she would only sleep with someone she is in love with and that she is scared of deeply falling in love with me because in that case if it doesn't work it would hurt her more. Now, we work together but we don't see each other much between our work shifts. What we usually do is stay after work to talk a little and leave. I wonder if I should keep our after work shift to a minimum because if I see her too often that attraction could fade away. I have this feeling because I feel that she is not enough attached, bond, or hold on to me. At the same time I have that feeling that if she sees me more often, I will become part of her life because she will be accustomed to seeing me. There is also another part of me that is telling whatever all that, if after work I have nothing to do and I want to see her why should I withhold myself from seeing her. What is you guys point of view on that? Quote: I have recently told her that I loved her and that I consider her has my girlfriend. She did'nt disagree neither did she agree she does not love you, and she probably does not even want to be your girflriend. Quote: We haven't had sex yet. It difficult because we both live in our parents house she does not want to have sex with you Quote: we were making out I put my hand in her pants and tried to reach her pussy but she removed it. She have had alreay mentionned me that she would only sleep with someone she is in love with and that she is scared of deeply falling in love with me because in that case if it doesn't work it would hurt her more again, she does not want to have sex with you working together or not it does not matter when both are really a couple and love each other, Im not going to say is a perfect thing having the same job and there might be problems which can be easily solved when you both are in a real relationship based in love in respect, but in your case this girl does not love you and seems that does not even want to be your girlfriend man. she probably wanted it a casual thing but when you told her I love you she got scared and that is not what she wanted, move on and meet more chicks.

Author:	R.C [ Wed May 03, 2017 7:14 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Working together, good or bad
First of all, never be the one to say the first I love you, and never be the one to bring up exclusivity. You, as a man, always make the first move from the initial date invite all the way to the marriage proposal. That said, if she wants to be with you, let her express it and earn the girlfriend title. I'll repeat this just so you understand the importance of the topic. Always let the girl bring up the exclusivity talk and always let her say the first I love you. That ship has sailed now, but take it as a lesson for the future. Secondly, I'm sorry, but this girl is fucking with you. I'm not saying she's a bad person or that she's doing it on purpose, but it's just the end result of her actions. We're in May OP. In fucking May. That's 4-5 months since January, and that's 100+ days. And the reason she's fucking with you is because you are allowing it. You are a man that is willing to be with a woman for more than a hundred days while she has not even had sex with him. And don't use the living with your parents as an excuse. If that were a legitimate impediment people would not be having sex until they've moved into their own apartments, and trust me, people are having sex. Also the "fear of getting hurt" is probably the most common piece of bullshit guys fall for on a global scale. The only thing she's afraid of is you not being an actual man. She has no respect for you, and how could she? You don't have any respect for yourself to begin with. If you did, you'd have cut this relationship short when her sexual unavailability was made obvious. Never even mind her not replying to the I love you. That's just the obvious cherry on top. Like I said, I'm sorry OP. You're in a shit situation and you probably didn't know any better. On the flip side however, this will be a valuable learning experience for you.

Author:	johnk12 [ Wed May 03, 2017 2:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Working together, good or bad
What I forgot to mention is that she had a boyfriend from january to march, so its only been a month that we are together. Before that we were going on dates like once a week but there were no kino. Now, we make out, hold hands while we talk or walk. Moreover this guy was her first relationship they met when she was 15 now she is 23, so they were together for 8 years. Does that change anything guys?

Author:	n2thevoid [ Wed May 03, 2017 3:08 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Working together, good or bad
Quote: What I forgot to mention is that she had a boyfriend from january to march, so its only been a month that we are together. Before that we were going on dates like once a week but there were no kino. Now, we make out, hold hands while we talk or walk. Moreover this guy was her first relationship they met when she was 15 now she is 23, so they were together for 8 years. Does that change anything guys? She's basically fresh out of an 8 year relationship at 23, and jumps right into a relationship with you a month later? Huge flag.

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Author:	johnk12 [ Wed May 03, 2017 3:16 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Working together, good or bad
It had been a year that it wasn't working between them. She knew that she didn't wanted to have a future with him. The whole time she was showing him that its not working, so he breaks up with her. Since they were together for 8 years she still had affection for him, so she didn't wanted to be the one to break up because she knew that it would make him suffer. So she was acting distant with him wishing he would break up. Which I told her its pretty childish to try this for a year, that if SHE didn't wanted to be with him SHE should be the one to break up. A week after she was single.

Author:	n2thevoid [ Wed May 03, 2017 3:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Working together, good or bad
Quote: It had been a year that it wasn't working between them. She knew that she didn't wanted to have a future with him. The whole time she was showing him that its not working, so he breaks up with her. Since they were together for 8 years she still had affection for him, so she didn't wanted to be the one to break up because she knew that it would make him suffer. So she was acting distant with him wishing he would break up. Which I told her its pretty childish to try this for a year, that if SHE didn't wanted to be with him SHE should be the one to break up. A week after she was single. And the way she went about it doesn't cause any concern for you?

Author:	johnk12 [ Wed May 03, 2017 3:31 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Working together, good or bad
Well I told her that if it doesn't work with us I want her to be straight with me. And if she doesn't tell, well you will do the same as she did with her last boyfriend she will start being distant, not invest in the conversation, and stop hangout. From which I will know its done, for me the essentiel is to know when it will be done and I guess one way or the other I will know.

Author:	neo87 [ Wed May 03, 2017 3:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Working together, good or bad
Where are you seeing that she's not being distant with YOU? She's doing the same thing with you and it should be showing you she ain't serious.

Author:	R.C [ Wed May 03, 2017 4:57 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Working together, good or bad
The fact that she was in a 8 year relationship makes the fact that she didn't have sex with you even worse. It also makes your "I love you" about 100 times as worse.

Author:	n2thevoid [ Wed May 03, 2017 5:15 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Working together, good or bad
Quote: Where are you seeing that she's not being distant with YOU? She's doing the same thing with you and it should be showing you she ain't serious. Quote: The fact that she was in a 8 year relationship makes the fact that she didn't have sex with you even worse. It also makes your "I love you" about 100 times as worse. Pay attention Op.

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Wed May 03, 2017 5:31 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Working together, good or bad
No use fellas, poor guy has gone 'Pussy Blind'. So desperate for her, that he fails to see her bad qualities and thinks she is perfect. He's her savior, her white knight! She has shone her beam of light upon him... He will do her bidding.

Author:	n2thevoid [ Wed May 03, 2017 5:37 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Working together, good or bad
Quote: No use fellas, poor guy has gone 'Pussy Blind'. So desperate for her, that he fails to see her bad qualities and thinks she is perfect. He's her savior, her white knight! She has shone her beam of light upon him... He will do her bidding. 'Pussy Blind' definitely not literally as he's not getting any.

Author:	johnk12 [ Wed May 03, 2017 6:26 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Working together, good or bad
So where should I go from there on? Should I tell her that I want to stop seeing her because I feel we dont want the same thing? Or should I start by freezing her out waiting for her to text me, ask me out and go back to gaming her? And if she does invite me to hang out and we are back to the situation where we are in my car and I go underneath her pants and she pulls my hand away what should be my reaction?

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