PUA Forum :: Relationships... or not?

Most people are so out of touch with their needs they truly don't know what they want. This is generally the case for people who have a very insecure type of attachment.

In other cases, a guy may be biding time w the promise of a relationship[p to a girl just to string them on long enough for sex.

I mean how can you just not be honest with yourself and the women, just say your end game is not a relationship right now? Why is that so hard?

I am curious with what you guys think on this. A lost of guys I talk to seem to want relationship while they are single and the second they aren't single, they are wanting to just bang around. I mean how can you just not be honest with yourself and the women, just say your end game is not a relationship right now? Why is that so hard?

Because society says sex outside a relationship is bad, both for women and men, and only a few are willing to say "fuck it, I do things the way I want to do them."

In this stage, you just tell women "you're just interested in fun for now". In fact, I'd use that line on women you DO want a relationship with as well. It makes you a challenge, and allows her to express her femininity and ask for exclusivity.

Quote:

Because society says sex outside a relationship is bad, both for women and men, and only a few are willing to say "fuck it, I do things the way I want to do them."

That may have been a thing in the 80s but not so much anymore.

This isn't a good idea. This can have the effect of disqualifying yourself from women that are looking for more than just fun.

Just don't say things that have the potential of planting the seeds to disqualify yourself with a girl.

Quote:

This isn't a good idea. This can have the effect of disqualifying yourself from women that are looking for more than just fun.

I've used this for a long time to maintain a slightly indifferent frame early on. You've seen the kind of fit woman this method produces.

If a woman can't handle this, it tells me right away she's needy and emotionally uncentered. Only the most mature and independent women will be cool with this. It's my own personal shit test. I dont want stage 5 clingers in my life.

ALWAYS qualify women, not the other way .

Quote:

Just don't say things that have the potential of planting the seeds to disqualify yourself with a girl.

Wrong frame. Qualify her instead.

That may have been a thing in the 80s but not so much anymore.

Remember, you said with the girl that you are with right now asked you if she is more than just fun to her just two weeks in. You had to react and do something to prove that you are not only about fun with her. If you wouldn't have done that, she likely would have disqualified you.

Quote:

True. But she brought it up in a sneaky way and at that point I really liked her, so I responded that way.

If I didn't like her as much as I did, I still would've said "let's just have fun", obviously. And she would've just been an orbiter.

I steer clear, always, of women who are looking for relationships right away. They turn out to be clingy and/or stalkers.

I can't stand agenda-driven women (especially with a wine glass in their hand all the time). I run for the hills. Which probably explains a few things, lol.

And that's the thing...you're giving her the agenda by telling her that you are just about fun without giving her the chance to decide for herself.

Author:	xplosiv [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:39 am ]
Post subject:	Relationships... or not?
I am curious with what you guys think on this. A lost of guys I talk to seem to want relationship while they are single and the second they aren't single, they are wanting to just bang around. I mean how can you just not be honest with yourself and the women, just say your end game is not a relationship right now? Why is that so hard?

Author:	n2thevoid [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:42 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Relationships... or not?
Most people are so out of touch with their needs they truly don't know what they want. This is generally the case for people who have a very insecure type of attachment. In other cases, a guy may be biding time w the promise of a relationship[p to a girl just to string them on long enough for sex.

Author:	xplosiv [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:51 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Relationships... or not?
Quote: Most people are so out of touch with their needs they truly don't know what they want. This is generally the case for people who have a very insecure type of attachment. In other cases, a guy may be biding time w the promise of a relationship[p to a girl just to string them on long enough for sex. The stringing part they are usually honest about. The thing that baffles me are the dudes who will work to get a relationship and then piss it away claiming they never wanted one... Only to be wanting one again. It is like a way of saying "I'm not a douche bag because I made the girl I wanted to have sex with my girlfriend till I got sick of her".

Author:	R.C [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:16 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Relationships... or not?
Quote: I mean how can you just not be honest with yourself and the women, just say your end game is not a relationship right now? Why is that so hard? Why do you assume we're not honest? Or are you talking about guys in general? Because if you are.. well. An alarming number of dudes will say and do just about anything to get into a woman's pants. And usually that's exactly why they fail.

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 8:02 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Relationships... or not?
Quote: I am curious with what you guys think on this. A lost of guys I talk to seem to want relationship while they are single and the second they aren't single, they are wanting to just bang around. I mean how can you just not be honest with yourself and the women, just say your end game is not a relationship right now? Why is that so hard? IMHO, the entire point of PUA, and the personal evolution I advocate is to find a quality woman that blows your mind. But like always, things must happen organically. If you have great sex with a hot woman who's also clever, you're not going to want her to get away, thus a relationship is born. When you fuck enough girls, You begin to suss out what's good for you. For many men, having an extraordinary, intelligent and sexy woman who's fantastic in bed trumps numbers. Sure, science compels us to want variety from time to time, but a wise man is aware of this, and makes the proper adjustments (he either moves on to new women or remains with his partner. A dominant male does not cheat on or hurt their partners). To the context of your question: If you haven't found that fantastic woman, you're going to have a few "nice" women around. And then you'll find more, while letting others go. In this stage, you just tell women "you're just interested in fun for now". In fact, I'd use that line on women you DO want a relationship with as well. It makes you a challenge, and allows her to express her femininity and ask for exclusivity. Honesty mixed with slight indifference attracts women like mice to peanut butter.

PUA Forum https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Relationships... or not? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=202420	Page 1 of 2

Author:	Stoliar [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 8:38 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Relationships... or not?
Quote: I am curious with what you guys think on this. A lost of guys I talk to seem to want relationship while they are single and the second they aren't single, they are wanting to just bang around. I mean how can you just not be honest with yourself and the women, just say your end game is not a relationship right now? Why is that so hard? Because society says sex outside a relationship is bad, both for women and men, and only a few are willing to say "fuck it, I do things the way I want to do them."

Author:	R.C [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Relationships... or not?
Quote: Because society says sex outside a relationship is bad, both for women and men, and only a few are willing to say "fuck it, I do things the way I want to do them." That may have been a thing in the 80s but not so much anymore.

Author:	JackZero [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:43 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Relationships... or not?
Quote: In this stage, you just tell women "you're just interested in fun for now". In fact, I'd use that line on women you DO want a relationship with as well. It makes you a challenge, and allows her to express her femininity and ask for exclusivity. This isn't a good idea. This can have the effect of disqualifying yourself from women that are looking for more than just fun. The more secure and mentally mature woman will run from a guy that says this if she's not interested in "fun for now". If you are going to use a tactic to be a challenge to women, the best way to go is not express what you're looking for because if she is looking for a relationship she's going to let you know. If she wants just fun, she'll continue on with you until it's not fun. If you are a quality guy and she's not interested in a relationship during the time she's met you, chances are is that she'll change her opinion on that because she won't want you to get away. Best way to go about this...keep your mouth shut about what you're looking for until she brings it up and if she likes you, she will (unless she's sensing that you are starting to become clingy and she's asking in order to figure out where your head is). The safe answer, if she hasn't revealed her intentions yet, is "I like what we have right now and want to see where things go." That way, you get to keep being the challenge and at the same time give her hope if she's wanting more. Just don't say things that have the potential of planting the seeds to disqualify yourself with a girl.

Author:	Stoliar [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 6:07 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Relationships... or not?
Quote: Quote: Because society says sex outside a relationship is bad, both for women and men, and only a few are willing to say "fuck it, I do things the way I want to do them." That may have been a thing in the 80s but not so much anymore. Man if you think so you don't live in the real world. Ask 10 random people: "A guy friend of mine is having sex with one different girl every week, no strings attached. You think that's cool?" Most girls will automatically judge the 'guy' for being a player asshole. Ask the same thing about "A girl friend" of mine, and most girls will judge her for being slutty and have little respect for herself.

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 6:47 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Relationships... or not?
Quote: This isn't a good idea. This can have the effect of disqualifying yourself from women that are looking for more than just fun. I've used this for a long time to maintain a slightly indifferent frame early on. You've seen the kind of fit woman this method produces. If a woman can't handle this, it tells me right away she's needy and emotionally uncentered. Only the most mature and independent women will be cool with this. It's my own personal shit test. I dont want stage 5 clingers in my life. ALWAYS qualify women, not the other way . Quote: Just don't say things that have the potential of planting the seeds to disqualify yourself with a girl. Wrong frame. Qualify her instead.

Author:	JackZero [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 6:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Relationships... or not?
Quote: Quote: This isn't a good idea. This can have the effect of disqualifying yourself from women that are looking for more than just fun. I've used this for a long time to maintain a slightly indifferent frame early on. You've seen the kind of fit woman this method produces. If a woman can't handle this, it tells me right away she's needy and emotionally uncentered. Only the most mature and independent women will be cool with this. It's my own personal shit test. I dont want stage 5 clingers in my life. ALWAYS qualify women, not the other way . Quote: Just don't say things that have the potential of planting the seeds to disqualify yourself with a girl. Wrong frame. Qualify her instead. We can go round and round with the one woman thing and that women aren't one size fits all, but that doesn't change what I said. You're giving her a reason to disqualify you but then turn around and use the excuse that there's something wrong with her. It's a clean way to shift blame for not being able to seduce a woman, but at the end of the day it doesn't necessarily mean that there's fault in the woman's personality. You just didn't present yourself in a way that isn't compatible to what she wants. You can't say always qualify her and at the same time give her reasons to disqualify you. Remember, you said with the girl that you are with right now asked you if she is more than just fun to her just two weeks in. You had to react and do something to prove that you are not only about fun with her. If you wouldn't have done that, she likely would have disqualified you.

Author:	R.C [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:19 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Relationships... or not?
Quote: That may have been a thing in the 80s but not so much anymore. Man if you think so you don't live in the real world. Ask 10 random people: "A guy friend of mine is having sex with one different girl every week, no strings attached. You think that's cool?" Most girls will automatically judge the 'guy' for being a player asshole. Ask the same thing about "A girl friend" of mine, and most girls will judge her for being slutty and have little respect for herself.[/quote] That's different from saying people outside relationships having sex is frowned upon.

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:46 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Relationships... or not?
Quote: Remember, you said with the girl that you are with right now asked you if she is more than just fun to her just two weeks in. You had to react and do something to prove that you are not only about fun with her. If you wouldn't have done that, she likely would have disqualified you. True. But she brought it up in a sneaky way and at that point I really liked her, so I responded that way. If I didn't like her as much as I did, I still would've said "let's just have fun", obviously. And she would've just been an orbiter. I steer clear, always, of women who are looking for relationships right away. They turn out to be clingy and/or stalkers. I can't stand agenda-driven women (especially with a wine glass in their hand all the time). I run for the hills. Which probably explains a few things, lol.

Author:	JackZero [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Relationships... or not?
Quote: Quote: Remember, you said with the girl that you are with right now asked you if she is more than just fun to her just two weeks in. You had to react and do something to prove that you are not only about fun with her. If you wouldn't have done that, she likely would have disqualified you. True. But she brought it up in a sneaky way and at that point I really liked her, so I responded that way. If I didn't like her as much as I did, I still would've said "let's just have fun", obviously. And she would've just been an orbiter. I steer clear, always, of women who are looking for relationships right away. They turn out to be clingy and/or stalkers. I can't stand agenda-driven women (especially with a wine glass in their hand all the time). I run for the hills. Which probably explains a few things, lol. And that's the thing...you're giving her the agenda by telling her that you are just about fun without giving her the chance to decide for herself. If you're fun and she likes to have fun, she'll follow your lead even if that wasn't her original agenda. If she's about fun and she sees more value in you as a man, she'll want you for more than fun. Women don't need to be verbally told what you're about, they'll be able to tell by your actions. Hint: If a girl is inquiring about if she is more than just fun two weeks in then she's looking for a relationship right away.

Page 1 of 2	All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Mon Mar 13, 2017 10:10 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Relationships... or not?
Quote: And that's the thing...you're giving her the agenda by telling her that you are just about fun without giving her the chance to decide for herself. No. By "agenda-driven" I mean a woman who wants a relationship, kids, money, etc right from the start. These women are plentiful. These are not emotionally-centered women. I will always qualify women first, not the other way around.