I know that it's NEVER a good idea to chase women, especially when they no longer want to see you, but what if it's because you messed things up?

You've answered your own question here. Yet below you're feeling insecure about moving forward.Is it really being "beta" by trusting your gut upon discovering you're clearly more invested in the relationship than your partner?

Put another way, your relationship is like a car. If the passenger was indifferent, or just not all that into going in the direction you're going, do you change course altogether to try and appease them? Or kick them out and find someone else who is as hyped as you heading forward on your journey, together?

Trusting your feelings is NEVER "beta" - reacting like a little bitch through passive aggressive behavior (for example), is.

She's upset because she does likely have some sort of attachment towards you, in addition that the reality is the ego finds it difficult to stomach getting dumped. When you try and re-engage with her with anything that looks like you messed up and want to work on things, albiet with somebody not-all-that-into-it, you're giving your power away - you're allowing their ego an opportunity to take retribution.

At the end of the day, relationships ARE work. You're a team, a duo, and under times of duress and conflict you find opportunities to come together and enhance the bond, or become divisive, aloof, and at times adversarial towards one another. If 2 people aren't on the same page from the get-go, things often precipitate quickly into the later dynamic. If being "beta" is holding onto something that's clearly not working, then I am not so sure I'd want to be "alpha" (whatever that is).

Is it really worth the fight to be back at status quo? That's a question you might want to look at.

Long story short, I was dating a girl for a month, we went on a bunch of fun dates, had sex, but over the course of the month I noticed her interest level dropping (I know it was because I was too available, and prob came off as a little needy at times). I basically stopped texting her around this time, and if I would she would ignore it half the time, but she still wanted to get together..About a week ago, I asked her why she's been so distant and she told me her feelings just aren't as strong as mine, and she was trying to figure things out..I basically told her I was done because I felt an impending breakup on the horizon and felt like she was playing games. Apparently this really upset her, and when I reached out to talk to her last night she said (over text) "she would agree to get together to talk" but then a minute later send "there's really nothing to talk about, we should "prob go our separate ways at this point."

This all happened right around Valentine's Day. I shouldn't have walked away from this girl like that, I was being a beta b*** the past few weeks, and realize I also shouldn't have contacted her again after I decided to walk away, but the thing is I really like this girl. Since I messed up, should I just let her reach out to me or should I really try getting together to talk?

Yes I already know I suck with women especially when I really like them.

Just talk to her and be patient. Don't rush things like making conclusions. Everyone needs some time to recover when disappointed.

About a week ago, I asked her why she's been so distant and she told me her feelings just aren't as strong as mine, and she was trying to figure things out

I basically told her I was done because I felt an impending breakup on the horizon and felt like she was playing games. Apparently this really upset her, and when I reached out to talk to her last night she said (over text) "she would agree to get together to talk" but then a minute later send "there's really nothing to talk about, we should "prob go our separate ways at this point."

Dude, you were seeing her for a MONTH. That is nothing. You smothered her with the Debbie Downer talk. When it's only been a month, embrace the silence and let her get back to you. In most situations, the first month both people are trying to figure it out.

You got super needy.

Her attraction for you is gone. Why are you forcing Debbie Downer talks so early on?



There are two simple rules for how a man responds to a woman who dumps him:

1. If she dumped you for being cold, but the sex was hot and often, by all mean chase her and show vulnerability and tell her how you feel. You'll get her back.

2. If you were dumped by a girl for being needy, and the sex was infrequent, just okay, and passion was just okay, it's over.

Let this be a lesson to learn how to remain emotionally-centered. 9's and 10's will me merciless towards you otherwise in the beginning. and one month is definitely the beginning.

Funny how both scenarios you'd painted involve the guy doing something wrong, yet fail to include situations where the fault in that the partnership was just a poor fit, or the girl is fucked in the head and the rel isn't worth salvaging.

That is a valid observation. However, in the context of this forum, we never get the woman's side of the story. Also, we can never truly control women.

All we can control is how we show up, so I will always offer feedback based on this.

Also of note, is that when you become fit enough, emotionally-centered, good in bed, and dominant with abundance mentality, women will not bail on you. They'll cling to you.

This entire process is one of constant upward movement to achieve that goal. And while it may sometimes be the woman's fault or a poor fit, using those as excuses not to personally evolve is damaging.

Thanks for the responses, every single one was really good. I've def had some issues in the past year especially early on when I meet someone-they usually start really hot with me then grow cold within a few weeks-even if I totally back off...

Most of the girls I go for are 9s or 10s, friends and family always get on me and say I go for the super model looking girls but I can't help what I'm attracted to..maybe they are just out of my league haha. Regardless, I know I need to work on not being so clingy in the beginning. I'm just going to forget this girl at this point. Thanks again.

Thanks for the responses, every single one was really good. I've def had some issues in the past year especially early on when I meet someone-they usually start really hot with me then grow cold within a few weeks-even if I totally back off...

Most of the girls I go for are 9s or 10s, friends and family always get on me and say I go for the super model looking girls but I can't help what I'm attracted to..maybe they are just out of my league haha. Regardless, I know I need to work on not being so clingy in the beginning. I'm just going to forget this girl at this point. Thanks again.