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She* doesn't text as often (Edit: corrected title)
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Author:  G-unot [ Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:49 pm ]
Post subject:  She* doesn't text as often (Edit: corrected title)
(Edit: corrected title)

Hi everyone!
I've been lurking around this forum for a very long time but never needed to register, until now.
I have learned a lot here and also it helped me getting my girlfriend that I've been with for over a year.

So long story short, we worked at the same place and we hooked up. At our time off we used to text all the time, late in the nights. At work we even sneaked behind disks to quickly text and go back to work. you get my point. And I really enjoyed it. we don't work together anymore though.

For the last months she's become a little colder in texting and doesn't like to text as often or as quickly even though she's online. We used to reply instantly or within 2 minutes, now it can take from 15 to an hour. I really miss the way we used to. We recently looked through her phone and she texts her new colleagues (one guy and it's mostly about work and shittalk about other workmates) and she replies instantly (Max 1 min) while I have to wait for an answer.... That makes me sad.. Priorities seems to have changed.

What do you suggest me to do to hopefully make myself number one priority for her again?
Should I take more time to answer?
Should I text in a colder way or a more specific way?

Give me tips! Thanks
Author:  R.C [ Tue Jan 17, 2017 2:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Show doesn't text as often
So you need more attention, is that it?
Author:  G-unot [ Tue Jan 17, 2017 3:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Show doesn't text as often
I think so..
Am I wrong for needing it?
Author:  R.C [ Tue Jan 17, 2017 3:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Show doesn't text as often
If your gf had broken up with you today, how'd you feel?
Author:  G-unot [ Tue Jan 17, 2017 4:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She* doesn't text as often (Edit: corrected title)
I don't get your point bro
Author:  R.C [ Tue Jan 17, 2017 4:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She* doesn't text as often (Edit: corrected title)
My point is it's ok to 'want' attention the same way it's ok to 'want' a beer every now and then. It's not ok to need it.

Your happiness seems to rely or at the very least revolve around her. Hence my question. If you got 'hurt' by her replying to a coworker faster than she replies to you, I can only imagine you'd be left scattered and with no bearing if she were to dump you today.

The moment you become dependent on a woman returning your feelings is the moment you start pushing her away.
Author:  G-unot [ Tue Jan 17, 2017 4:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She* doesn't text as often (Edit: corrected title)
To be honest, you're quite right.
I would say that I might even me obsessed in a way.
Not to take her for granted, but the risk of her leaving me in the near future is low, since our relationship is strong and stable besides the attention I am missing. I know I might sound bitchy, beta, omega and all of that, but I am being honest. You could roast me in this anonymous forum if you'd like to. I'm just here for the knowledge ;)

Whats your advice?
I'd like to hear your thoughts on both sides:
- how I could get more attention
- how I could be less dependent on her

thanks bruh
Author:  R.C [ Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She* doesn't text as often (Edit: corrected title)
Quote:
You could roast me in this anonymous forum if you'd like to. I'm just here for the knowledge
I'm here to help, not to put down. But I don't sugarcoat.
Quote:
Not to take her for granted, but the risk of her leaving me in the near future is low, since our relationship is strong and stable besides the attention I am missing. I know I might sound bitchy, beta, omega and all of that, but I am being honest.
I didn't say she was going to leave you, I was just painting a picture. I'm glad your relationship is stable, and if you want to keep it that way there's a few things you must understand.
A relationship starts dying the moment your personal life does. If you start neglecting friends, don't go out as much, skip the gym, skip your whatever other hobbies in favor of spending time with her systematically, then that downward spiral will only drag you further and further.
I'm not sure how down that road you are, but you're definitely on it.

Sounding bitchy or whatever is the effect, I'm trying to help you understand the cause. If you want to keep a relationship happy, healthy and fresh then you need to never put her/her needs and wants above your own. She can be the most important person in your world. Aside from yourself. Once you give her that #1 spot, shit starts snowballing downhill. Fast.

So pull yourself together. Stop neglecting yourself. I'm sure you're doing it to some degree. Maybe your career isn't where you'd want it. Not doing good in regards to your social circle? Do you live an attractive lifestyle?
It's usually one of those and as a result guys seek their refuge within the comfort of their relationships. And they inevitably become draining.
Author:  G-unot [ Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She* doesn't text as often (Edit: corrected title)
Very helpful!
I didn't even think about it, but what you say makes sense and I am definetly on that road!
Thanks for your advice!

Edit: I'm going to college right now and I was planning on starting to exercise and maybe work part time to try to get away with myself a bit. Change priorities a bit. Leave my phone in the bedroom, not carry it around all the time.
What else would to suggest to get out of that road?
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She* doesn't text as often (Edit: corrected title)
You're either going to leave or just chill out.

Because you're not sounding like the strong attractive fun guy she once met right now so its no wonder that she's not longer treating you as such.

When you're "needing" from women, they are not going to be there for you in the way that you would like them to be. When you're centered on the inside and could take it or leave it they're always there to make sure you never have the feeling of "needing". They want to be apart of your strength; no one wants to be apart of your " i need you right now can you please support me".

Find yourself.
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