If you cheat, be smart about it.

If you get caught, be honest about it.

And if your reason to cheat is anything beyond pure lust you shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with. So don't.

And if your reason to cheat is anything beyond pure lust you shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with. So don't.

You're not an honest person in the 1st place if you're thinking what to do if I get caught, so I wont recommend finding morality when it comes up. This is like asking "what to do if I get caught committing a murder?"

But whether you cheat or not, has nothing to do with polygamory or other nonsense reasons.

You want multiple partners? Fine, dont promise exclusivity.

You cheat on someone and continue to do so, you're a dishonest and selfish person. You can have reasons or justifications, but it is what it is.You're being selfish and dishonest.

Same as murder can happen in spite of your will (being angry at somebody you push them off the sidewalk and have them creamed under a bus), cheating doesn't necessarily have to do with honesty. A lot of cheating happens because the person finds herself in a strongly tempting situation and cannot resist the urge.

Contradiction here, probably I just don't understand what you mean in your first point. Though I agree with the second one.

Hardly a statement or accusation here, since the vast majority of people are dishonest and selfish.

Bottom line, people are more fallible than you think, and cheating is more complex than just "you cheat, you're an asshole, you don't, you're an angel."

We ALL have self control to NOT cheat.

If your polyamourous that doesnt mean you have an excuse to cheat. It has nothing to do with whether you cheat.

I don't find it hard to believe that most honest guys, when drunk at a party (their average gf not present and nobody knowing them there), would give in temptation if the drunken double of Scarlett Johansson would crash next to them on the couch and start massaging their groin.

Just watch the TED talk, man. If you're not stubborn you will learn a few things:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2AUat93a8Q

I'm not saying I'ma do it. I'm not even in a relationship.

I heard some people at work today discussing the topic. And they were saying things like "If my wife ever catches me cheating I'll tell her my bad. I was thinking with my 2nd head and being dumb. BUT it was only a physical thing. No emotions or anything beyond that are attached. I'm in love with you. And she kept coming on to me. I'm a guy! She knew what she was doing" etc.

What's your guys opinion? What's the best way to handle the situation if you get caught?

Come on man, the fact that you have to use this example says something about your premise. It is highly unlikely that you're gonna be somewhere drunk and a strange chick is just going to massage your dick. You could be Brad Pitt look alike, chicks arent massaging your dick out of the blue. This is a very unlikely situation for the majority of highly attractive guys, more so for the average guy. Please, give me a believable situation for how the avg guy/girl would be in a position where they couldnt resist. Not this impossible scenario thats out of a porno. I get chicks pretty easily, more than the avg guy, but I'm not going places and getting dick massaged on opening lol.

Dude you're asking me to give you an example where a guy, in spite of his honesty, would give in to temptation, then you complain that the situation is not going to happen to most guys, while totally missing the point (and man how often do you seem to be missing the point) that this example illustrates how cheating has sometimes little to do with being dishonest. A lot of people would give in for less than that by the way, without the groin massaging or the Johansson (maybe not the awesomely perfect you, which is why I had to pull the extreme example where even you would give in).

And if you want me to write it out for you, Esther Perel is making exactly that point: that sometimes people stay monogamous and faithful for dozens of years, before the situation becomes just so tense that they are led to cheat. The cheaters are just being conflicted between the morally untenable situation they put themselves in and the way they feel about it, so much that the act of cheating is actually considered to them as an amelioration of their situation.

To which you're gonna say "it's not an excuse" and I'll have to tell you for a thousandth time that I'm not talking about excuses here, but about how honest people are led by the circumstances to do dishonest acts. And saying "they have a choice to stop at any point" is totally ignoring the mechanic of slippery slope to which, again, most people would give in.

But honestly you show so much bad faith in understanding my point (say, I stated it twice already yet when I pointed you at the video you still asked what it was) that I'm done arguing here.