PUA Forum :: The Aftermath

My toxic relationship of 1,5 years ended 2 weeks ago.
We had fights every weekend and she never really got to completely opening up for me.
Worst things for me was that she was lying about drugs, still needed to go out to party till 6 in the night, getting really drunk, staying with friends and not even letting me know where she is.

You fought every weekend for 18 months?

Quote:

^
Thats honestly all you had to write, followed up by the statement you made at the end of this post. Do you honestly think you're not capable of doing better than this? I know you're attached OP, but come on.. Lets be real here.

Anyway I changed my number this week, now I just need to avoid the places me and her friends usually hang out and I can finally have my peace!

Author:	sapipa [ Wed Nov 23, 2016 9:31 pm ]
Post subject:	The Aftermath
My toxic relationship of 1,5 years ended 2 weeks ago. We had fights every weekend and she never really got to completely opening up for me. Worst things for me was that she was lying about drugs, still needed to go out to party till 6 in the night, getting really drunk, staying with friends and not even letting me know where she is. The last weeks where really bad and although she was giving me obvious signals that is was coming to end, I ignored it and refused to talk about it, do something about it. I think that during our whole relationship, I must have contemplated about breaking up a thousand times, and still I didn't get to breaking up because there was always "hope" of things getting better. We even went to a therapist. The worst thing is that she is actually the one who made the decision to leave, in this final moments I even gave it a weak half ass shot to try to turn everything around. And I know how bad this is, being an avid reader of all the relationship posts about a year ago. In every aspect of our relationship there was always my insecurity and ego that played games with me. I've been reading a lot on this forum the past 2 years. And still I feel as if everything I learned, I was never fully able to really make a part of me. About a year ago I started working out, meditating (on and off), journaling (on and off), making goals, creating habits, reading books, finding my purpose. Right now, specially with this break up, I feel as if I have achieved not much... And it leaves me extremely confused. I write up all positive things about my day each day and write down everything I'm grateful for. But I really don't feel positive nor grateful at this moment in my life. Now this is not about getting her back, cause I'm really done with it. At this moment this is also not about me wanting to fuck as many woman as possible ( I did that after she broke up with me the first time, and I actually did that to get her back). This is about me really needing to find some center, core, direction. Finding me again. Because at this moment I'm so confused that I feel all my thoughts and insecurities are making me freeze. Should I just keep moving in this direction and have patience? Does this sound familiar for some?

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Nov 30, 2016 9:33 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: The Aftermath
You fought every weekend for 18 months?

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Thu Dec 01, 2016 1:44 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: The Aftermath
Quote: My toxic relationship of 1,5 years ended 2 weeks ago. We had fights every weekend and she never really got to completely opening up for me. Worst things for me was that she was lying about drugs, still needed to go out to party till 6 in the night, getting really drunk, staying with friends and not even letting me know where she is. ^ Thats honestly all you had to write, followed up by the statement you made at the end of this post. Do you honestly think you're not capable of doing better than this? I know you're attached OP, but come on.. Lets be real here.

Author:	sapipa [ Fri Dec 02, 2016 9:41 am ]
Post subject:	Re: The Aftermath
Quote: You fought every weekend for 18 months? Yeah we did

Author:	sapipa [ Fri Dec 02, 2016 9:54 am ]
Post subject:	Re: The Aftermath
Quote: Quote: My toxic relationship of 1,5 years ended 2 weeks ago. We had fights every weekend and she never really got to completely opening up for me. Worst things for me was that she was lying about drugs, still needed to go out to party till 6 in the night, getting really drunk, staying with friends and not even letting me know where she is. ^ Thats honestly all you had to write, followed up by the statement you made at the end of this post. Do you honestly think you're not capable of doing better than this? I know you're attached OP, but come on.. Lets be real here. I know, and I feel stupid for making the same mistake twice. I remember your advice saying "she isn't good enough for you and she never will be" I knew at that time that was true, but still was driven/blinded by my ego looking for the confirmation I could get her back. I'm trying to avoid her as much as possible, but she is now insinuating there is another guy in her life, in a like really manipulative way... not saying it is true, but also not saying it isnt true... And she knows exactly how to make me play her game... it's scary how good she is because it's really starting to get a life on its own in my head... But then again, my fault because I let her. Anyway I changed my number this week, now I just need to avoid the places me and her friends usually hang out and I can finally have my peace!

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Author:	Eddie Fews [ Fri Dec 02, 2016 5:08 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: The Aftermath
Quote: Anyway I changed my number this week, now I just need to avoid the places me and her friends usually hang out and I can finally have my peace! Im impressed. Good move.

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