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In relationship but finds another girl...
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Author:  Confuscious [ Mon Nov 07, 2016 5:23 am ]
Post subject:  In relationship but finds another girl...
Hey guys

I'm hoping to find some advice/comments/thoughts on my situation...

With my current gf for almost two years, I'm quite happy with her, gets along well with my family and everything. That didn't quite put me out of sarging, but has definetly toned down who and how much I run game.

We don't have TOO many things in common and that is starting to prove to be difficult for me as I'm definetly all up for going out partying, outdoor adventure and travelling.

Girl 2 is a friend of mine for over 10 years and recently got back in touch after both of us travelling abroad fo a while and living in different cities. But now we're back in the same city and hanging out and realized we have much similar interests than we realized before. We ended up hooking up a few times... and the discussion of my current GF came up.

We have established that we don't want girl 2 to be a "mistress"... We are communicating quite well and hope to continue that.

As a result, with the current gf, I'm losing interest fast...

I don't want to straight get up and drop the current gf, we have been happy together and our disagreements are easily talked out.

I don't want to keep girl 2 on the side and have her be a mistress... as it could ruin our circle of friends of 10+ years... but could prove to be a more compatible partner...

Anyone gone through similar situations before?

Any thought on how to approach this?

Thanks guys!
Author:  R.C [ Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: In relationship but finds another girl...
Not sure what you're asking here. We can't make this decision for you.
Author:  Sabrina321 [ Thu Nov 10, 2016 2:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: In relationship but finds another girl...
You just needed to decide what is better for you and I hope you did it right. Best of luck!
Author:  Parcival [ Thu Nov 10, 2016 3:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: In relationship but finds another girl...
Hey,
I've been in a similair situation, ended up having an affair for half a year.
Looking back I developt 2 personalities and compleetly lost sight of who I was. I ended up hurting 2 of the most important woman in my life and struggled with guilt for half a year before accepting what I did and moving on.

The only advice I would give my old self is to take the time to figure out who I AM and what I WANT. Realise there is no bad or good dicision here and that you'll never know if you did right. The only thing you can do now is make a dicision based on YOU, nothing else. No politics, no assumptions, no empathy.. Be True to your inner self.

Good luck friend,
I know it is/will be hard.

Parcival
Author:  W1nd [ Thu Nov 10, 2016 3:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: In relationship but finds another girl...
Quote:
Hey,
I've been in a similair situation, ended up having an affair for half a year.
Looking back I developt 2 personalities and compleetly lost sight of who I was. I ended up hurting 2 of the most important woman in my life and struggled with guilt for half a year before accepting what I did and moving on.

The only advice I would give my old self is to take the time to figure out who I AM and what I WANT. Realise there is no bad or good dicision here and that you'll never know if you did right. The only thing you can do now is make a dicision based on YOU, nothing else. No politics, no assumptions, no empathy.. Be True to your inner self.

Good luck friend,
I know it is/will be hard.

Parcival

This (minus the 2 personalities for me).
It's gonna hurt no matter what.
Keep who YOU are once you've made your choice.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Nov 10, 2016 5:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: In relationship but finds another girl...
Why are you stringing girl #1 along?
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Thu Nov 10, 2016 7:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: In relationship but finds another girl...
So the second girl knows about her and is continuing to see you anyway, but the first girl is unaware of the second...

Sounds like all you have to do is make her aware of the second girl and try to bring it all together. I tell guys all the time you would be surprised with what a woman is willing to comply with if you man up and just be direct, up front, and honest. I several people who have introduced two separate women they were dating and made the situation work for them. It is a guarantee? Definitely not. Is it worth a shot? I think so.. Having a successful relationship with the one woman you're talking to isn't a guarantee either.

And if you're already considering leaving your girl for her, what do you have to lose anyway? She's already aware. Now just understand that the grass isn't greener on the other side and a large part of this chicks interest in you is the fact that you're a bit out of reach and unattainable. Once you compromise that by leaving your girl for her, a part of the attraction she has also has potential to be compromised. Bringing it together is risky, but it does offer potential to preserve some of that.

That or just take the square route and realize that theres pro's and con's to every situation. You probably won't be any happier with her than your girl, theres just excitement here because this is a "new" opportunity. You also have no idea how it's going to turn out with the new girl.. But you do know that you and your current girlfriend are successfully 2 years in. The track record speaks for itself.
Author:  stevemanog [ Sun Nov 13, 2016 5:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: In relationship but finds another girl...
Quote:
Hey,
I've been in a similair situation, ended up having an affair for half a year.
Looking back I developt 2 personalities and compleetly lost sight of who I was. I ended up hurting 2 of the most important woman in my life and struggled with guilt for half a year before accepting what I did and moving on.

The only advice I would give my old self is to take the time to figure out who I AM and what I WANT. Realise there is no bad or good dicision here and that you'll never know if you did right. The only thing you can do now is make a dicision based on YOU, nothing else. No politics, no assumptions, no empathy.. Be True to your inner self.

Good luck friend,
I know it is/will be hard.

Parcival
How come that I dont have girl at all, and you had 2 personalites.. I feel so bad for me
Author:  Cross De Lena [ Wed Nov 16, 2016 7:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: In relationship but finds another girl...
Quote:
Quote:
Hey,
I've been in a similair situation, ended up having an affair for half a year.
Looking back I developt 2 personalities and compleetly lost sight of who I was. I ended up hurting 2 of the most important woman in my life and struggled with guilt for half a year before accepting what I did and moving on.

The only advice I would give my old self is to take the time to figure out who I AM and what I WANT. Realise there is no bad or good dicision here and that you'll never know if you did right. The only thing you can do now is make a dicision based on YOU, nothing else. No politics, no assumptions, no empathy.. Be True to your inner self.

Good luck friend,
I know it is/will be hard.

Parcival
How come that I dont have girl at all, and you had 2 personalites.. I feel so bad for me
The mystery remains.
Author:  Cross De Lena [ Wed Nov 16, 2016 7:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: In relationship but finds another girl...
I read somewhere if you ever fall for the 2nd girl you should never consider getting back with the first girl, because even if you decide to stay with your current girlfriend, there will come a time when you'll be tempted again.

I think something's missing in your current relationship. Or you're simply not made to live in monogamous relationship.
Author:  Parcival [ Thu Nov 17, 2016 1:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: In relationship but finds another girl...
Quote:
I read somewhere if you ever fall for the 2nd girl you should never consider getting back with the first girl, because even if you decide to stay with your current girlfriend, there will come a time when you'll be tempted again.

I think something's missing in your current relationship. Or you're simply not made to live in monogamous relationship.
Alright. I've read the same thing, people even told me during my cheating but I always felt like it was bs. Temptations wil always be present, most temporary some permanent. Expecting one girl to fullfil all of your (everchanging) needs is unrealistic. She will never be everything and that's ok, neither will you :)

There is no 'rule' to make this decission for you, look deep into yourself, your core, and use that to decide.

Answer me this:
If this happend to your best friend, what would your advice be?

Best of luck!

Yours, Parcival
Author:  W1nd [ Fri Nov 18, 2016 9:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: In relationship but finds another girl...
Quote:
I read somewhere if you ever fall for the 2nd girl you should never consider getting back with the first girl, because even if you decide to stay with your current girlfriend, there will come a time when you'll be tempted again.

I think something's missing in your current relationship. Or you're simply not made to live in monogamous relationship.
I pretty much followed this. It was the completely wrong thing to do. A new relationship is (generally) always going to seem nore attractive than a LTR. However, you don't really know the new girl. As Percival said - you have a to look into what you truly want in a relationship and decide if you're getting enough of that. No one is ever going to be 100%. Also, guys tebd to think with their dicks...
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