Guys have been PM-ing on this. I thought it needed to be addressed. Your relationship status with someone else doesn’t determine warranty rights.

I'm surprised that it's usually the guys trying to go for the exclusivity talk. I haven't initiated the talk in years. It's usually the girls giving me the ultimatums. If guys kept their mouth shut, these girls would be throwing themselves at them and trying to make themselves seem like the best thing on earth.

The best way is to let things flow naturally. Usually about three months in, she’ll change her status.

The fact is, if you’ve been finding that you’re seeing each other more and more often lately, that’s often a sign that you’re both becoming more and more interested in one another and invested in your relationship together.

Thanks for this. I did the exact opposite of what you suggested, and low and behold, I fucked it up. She got confused and got hit with immense pressure and eventually said NO, as you stated.

All this because my best friend used "the talk" after one month of dating his 3 girlfriends (and it worked every time). So he suggested that I do the same, however the difference is that I didn't have sex with her yet since she's a virgin and wasn't ready.

Next time, I'll wait 3 months or maybe wait for the girl to pull the relationship trigger first.

I think we guys use the talk first because we're scared of losing her. Losing her = starting all over again with another girl, which requires major efforts and you have to find the new girl which is even a bigger hassle. Girls have male attention all day every day, whereas we usually have to work for female attention.

Good post Heywood

I want to highlight this poster's words, because i think its a misconception of Heywood's focus.

You've never had a relationship. Stop blaming the fact that you had a conversation with a chick, who was not even fucking you, as the downfall of that experience. This wasnt the first chick that denied a LTR with you, maybe look at other areas besides what you did ONE time, as the cause.
At first I thought Heywood was just saying dont start the talk, and for some macho reason. But reading it a few times, he's emphasizing using the talk as a SYMPTOM OF NEEDINESS. You can try to tie her down because you're needy. Or, you can try NOT to bring up the talk because you're afraid of pushing her away......THAT'S STILL NEEDY.

Crawford, you dated a virgin, who not only wasnt having sex with you, but she got mad at you for trying to have sex with her. Do you really think that VERBALIZING "I want to be your bf" was the point she knew or felt like you were afraid to lose her?! Do you think if I travel overseas for a specific job, I let the hiring manager berate me and still come back, if I say "I would like the job", then THAT'S when he knows I NEED the job? Stop being needy! Hold chicks up to YOUR standards.

I've initiated the talk before, and why I have no problem with it, is any chick Ive said "be my gf", it was like a reward. Because she worked her ass off for the title. Its me saying her, you won something, like a boss telling you you're promoted. Your boss doesnt ask you if you want the pay raise, he just tells you. I'd be damned if I would ask a chick who hasnt even fucked me to be my gf, and by that note, I'd be insulted if a chick asked to be my gf and she hasnt fucked me. Thats the fucked up part. If a chick (like Crawfords), thinks she can even ask to be your gf and she hasnt fucked you, what does she think of you? She thinks you'd accept anything. Whoever initiates, make sure the chick has worked for that title. Chick is a virgin? Ok, backburner. Still messing with her? At least have the dynamic of she's afraid she might lose you over sex. I'd laugh my ass off if a virgin was getting mad at me for trying to have sex. And then you wonder why she knows you NEED this to work. No, it wasnt when you asked her to be your gf. It was when you heard virgin and continued. And it was definitely when she was screaming at you for being a MAN and you sat there apologizing.

I'm not sure why you guys are saying it doesn't matter who brings it up, you literally can ride the single life until she finally says "you know i've been thinking", it's the perfect scenario. You're banging like 2 other girls on the side until your main girl starts to "fall" for you and you can decide if you want to make her your girlfriend after she verbally asks what are we.

It's not needy if you don't bring it up. It's for your benefit anyway. This isn't a job salary where if you don't speak you won't get a raise. Lets be real. It's a person you're fucking. The two aren't relate able at all.

The problem is that the chick he's banging is kind of an alpha woman so I'm not sure that she will ever bring up the talk either.

You said:

"It was when you heard virgin and continued."

So I should have quit it right when she told me that she was a virgin?, in your opinion?

I'm not sure why you guys are saying it doesn't matter who brings it up, you literally can ride the single life until she finally says "you know i've been thinking", it's the perfect scenario. You're banging like 2 other girls on the side until your main girl starts to "fall" for you and you can decide if you want to make her your girlfriend after she verbally asks what are we.

It's not needy if you don't bring it up. It's for your benefit anyway. This isn't a job salary where if you don't speak you won't get a raise. Lets be real. It's a person you're fucking. The two aren't relate able at all.