Hey Guys,

I've been a regular reader of this forum for quite a while now, and i've often seen some really good and interesting advise doled out, so i thought i'd give it a go.

I've been meeting up with this girl now for just over 6 months, roughly once or twice a week. When we first started meeting up I thought she was a cool girl but wasn't really that interested in her. Because of that things went really slow, mainly because I was seeing other girls at the same time.

Unfortunately, over a few months I began to develop feelings for her. This was a big problem, as from the outset we more or less agreed this was just a casual thing. Over time this started to really bother me, as I felt I was having feelings for someone that just wanted something casual. Eventually, after a night out drinking, we ended up having an argument. Basically i told her I had developed feelings for her, and that I don't think we should keep meeting up. She then told me she has had feelings for me too, and we both agreed that we would keep meeting up to see where things go.

That was a couple of months ago. Things have been fine, but at times got a little stressed.
Over the last couple of weeks we tried to meet up she's had to rearrange or cancel. The first couple of times I said it was no problem, but the last time I got pissed off and we ended up having a bit of an argument over it. We met up not long after this and everything seemed ok.

But then last night we met up she dropped the bombshell that she doesn't think we should keep meeting up. Basically at the minute she's just starting up a new business and is extremely stressed and busy. She said that she doesn't want to be making plans with me in the future and then having to cancel or rearrange. She also thought that if we kept things going but couldn't see each other as often, it would just be dragged out and eventually end anyway. She's afraid of being hurt, so ending things now makes a clean break before that happens.

I told her that the reason I got so angry with her rescheduling on me last time is that I thought she was losing interest in what we were doing, and in that case I would rather her come out and tell me than just mess me around like that. She insisted that it was because she was just too busy, and that she still cares for me. But that if we continued and there came times in the future where things got difficult, she wouldn't want me thinking the reason for it was that she was losing feelings for me.

I told her that if the reason she wanted to end things was because the 'spark' was gone between us, that we had lost feelings for each other or any other reason like that then I would agree we should end things totally. But that if we both truly still have feelings for each other and care about each other, then I don't think we should end it over fears that things might get too hard down the road. I told her we could take a break, or not meet as often and see how things go.
She was crying and said she didn't know what to do. She said I've given her new things to think about and she wants to take a day or two to think it over.

I'm almost certain this is over, and I know it's for a whole host of reasons that I fucked up on (Oneitus, betaization, neediness and so on).
But when she's telling me over and over again that she still cares and has feelings for me, and I have feelings for her, I just keep thinking there's still something there worth trying for.

She'll want to meet in the next day or so to tell me what resolution she's come to. I feel at the very least, I should message her and say that we shouldn't meet for a couple weeks and see how we feel then.

Sorry for the long post.

Over the last couple of weeks we tried to meet up she's had to rearrange or cancel. The first couple of times I said it was no problem, but the last time I got pissed off and we ended up having a bit of an argument over it. We met up not long after this and everything seemed ok.

She said that she doesn't want to be making plans with me in the future and then having to cancel or rearrange.

I told her that the reason I got so angry with her rescheduling on me last time is that I thought she was losing interest in what we were doing, and in that case I would rather her come out and tell me than just mess me around like that.

I just wanted to say thank you to you guys for all your comments and insights. Suffice it to say, most of it has been pretty much spot on. The more I look back over things the more I realize just how insecure I became.

Initially we agreed to have a fun and easy going arrangement, but unfortunately the more time we spent together and the more we opened up to each other, the more I got stuck and committed into the whole thing. And the cruel irony of course is that the more I became invested in things, the more insecure I got about losing it all.

That last time we spoke she said had made up her mind. But after I said my bits and pieces, she said I gave her some new perspectives/things to think about and that she needed a day or two to think things over. Right before I left she'd say she'd be in touch, asking; "you don't think I'd just leave you hanging, do you?" Well she hasn't been in touch since then (coming up to a week), so now it's as much the fact she didn't follow through with this as anything else that's bothering me. Part of me can't help wondering if she's still mulling things over, or that she's treating this as some sort of test run to see if I was genuine about us being able to handle not seeing as much of each as before. I know you guys would advise against any contact and to just leave it there, but the lack of closure is really getting to me.

Anyway, last night I went out with a new girl and F closed. It was a great distraction for a few hours, but then I felt pretty shitty afterwards. I guess this is just gonna take some time to get over.

Thanks again for all the input guys.