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I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another girl
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Author:  Zeru [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 5:29 am ]
Post subject:  I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another girl
I love my relationship. My girlfriend and i rarely have arguments. We have our own personal life where we hang out with freinds, and the one where we hang out. Point being we are close. We focus our relationship on being open with eachother about how we are feeling. In the past, we had played games where we are at the mall, and each of us point out who we think is good looking etc, etc.

Within the past month she moved for school. She lives in about 3 hours away from me. We still see eachother every week/ every other week.

We use to have sex everyday/every other. Now we can't have it as much leaving us both hornier.

TLDR ;

I have a yoga class i go too. During it, a girl sat next to me and started a conversation with me. She was cool, and the more she talked, the more i was getting a strong sexual vibe that she was giving me. A little later class started, and i was having a bit of a mental battle. I was thinking about her a little too much. When the class ended, she asked me for my number. I gave it to her out of being freindly, but went my own way after that.

I felt bad about the thoughts, and later that night i brought it up with my girlfriend on facetime.

I have gotten really use to being open with her, i didn't think it would affect her like it did, but i could see the energy drop. I was just being honest with her. After i saw the energy drop, i reasurred her that it was nothing other than a thought. Then she said she had to go.

TTDR:

Is this something that i should not have sharred with her? I kind of assumed i was suppose to talk about the stuff i was feeling with her because it's healthy.

Or was it an alright thing to share, and she will be happy later that i trust her like that?

I don't know if this seems like an obvious answer, but i havn't posted on this forum in a while. I normally figure it out on my own, or through all post. But i would appreciate some insight on this.
Author:  R.C [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 7:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another
Come on man.

It's healthy to "talk about your feelings" because it's unhealthy to internalize negative emotion. For example if she has a habit that really pisses you the fuck off, say for example making chewy sounds when she eats bubble gum, of-course it's healthy to express that when it happens as opposed to letting it build up overtime to the point where you'll eventually go berserk on her.

But this? This was you virtually telling her "Hey look there's this cool chick in yoga class. I'm interested in her. What do you think about that?".
There's a huge difference between the above and playfully showing her attractive women at the mall.

Keep it to yourself next time.
Author:  JackZero [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 7:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another
Wow...just wow. Just imagine if she told you that she was fantasizing about sucking her neighbor's dick. Would you be okay with her sharing that information?
Author:  HT23VWY67 [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 3:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another
See, the problem I see here is that you gave out your number to this yoga class girl. That's an alarm sign.
That's not being friendly. That's being interested. Did you tell your girl you did that?
Author:  Zeru [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 4:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another
I gave her my number because I feel like it's important to have a set of girls who you are friends with other than your gf. Only as friends though.

And, I was in a good mood at the time, I understand now that it was not my best move at all to tell her.

Last question on this.

From your guys perspective, should I let it wear off or try to talk to her about it again?
Author:  HT23VWY67 [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 5:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another
Talk to her about it and tell her you weren't interested and that if it makes her feel better, delete the girl's number.
Author:  R.C [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 5:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another
I'd let it pass. Talking about it won't solve her emotional distress. Actions will.
Keep treating her good and she won't think anything of it.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 5:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another
Sometimes it's best just to shut the fuck up.

A. If you share everything, where is the mystery?

B. Not everything is shareable.
Author:  JackZero [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 5:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another
Quote:
I gave her my number because I feel like it's important to have a set of girls who you are friends with other than your gf.
Give some detail why this is important and why this girl? I'm not saying that it's not okay to have women as friends while you're in a relationship, but I don't feel it's important. You were smart enough to know that this girl was giving you a sexual vibe and it had to be confirmed when she asked for your number. This wasn't heading in the direction of friendship (without benefits).
Author:  neo87 [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 5:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another
Quote:
Quote:
I gave her my number because I feel like it's important to have a set of girls who you are friends with other than your gf.
Give some detail why this is important and why this girl? I'm not saying that it's not okay to have women as friends while you're in a relationship, but I don't feel it's important. You were smart enough to know that this girl was giving you a sexual vibe and it had to be confirmed when she asked for your number. This wasn't heading in the direction of friendship (without benefits).

He wants to cheat.

Also, telling a young chick who lives hours away that you gave some chick your number and had serial thoughts about her....it's dumb no offense. You might as well have created a new tinder profile for her. Just saying ...I don't know where you think this would go in a ldr. Especially one with your history
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 6:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another
The question is..

Did you share it with her to be "healthy" or did you share it with her because you thought it would relieve you of some type of guilty?

When its the latter, what usually happens is a transfer of the energy. You feel better because you got it off your chest, and now she feels however she feels, because she now has to carry the weight.

What was the goal here?
Author:  Zeru [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another
You guys all have great points here that i am taking into account. I really do appreciate the advice.

@R.C. : I agree with you on that, i made a mistake it happens. Im going to move on, and keep being an awesome boyfreind.

@HeyWood : Agreed

@JackZero : In the past, i use to talk to tons of girls. After starting this relationship, i don't reach out as much as i use to to other girls. I know it's important to have good girlfriends too though. So when this girl talked to me and asked me for my number. I assumed this could be a good start. And she's in a yoga class, those are the kind of peopel i enjoy being around, down to earth. That's why i gave it to her.

@Neo87 : From the context, i can see why you would think i want to cheat. The idea did come up in my head, but it was me bing stupid and thinking with my dick. I love the girl im with, i really do. Yes i also relize it wasn't the best move to tell her. I'm just very use to being open with her, and i have a desire to keep the relationship extremly healthy by sharing things. But yes, i now see there are some things you do not share. I wont make the mistake again.

@Eddie : I really did share it to be healthy. It wasn't guilt that i felt, but a feeling that she should know some of my thoughts. That's a great points though with the ladder of energy.

Overall - I use to have a lot of sex with my girlfreind, now i don't see her as much. I wanted to build up my will power, and it's the first time i stoped masterbaiting in a while too. So i feel like that's why those thoughts came up with the other girl.
Author:  JackZero [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another
Quote:
@JackZero : In the past, i use to talk to tons of girls. After starting this relationship, i don't reach out as much as i use to to other girls. I know it's important to have good girlfriends too though. So when this girl talked to me and asked me for my number. I assumed this could be a good start. And she's in a yoga class, those are the kind of peopel i enjoy being around, down to earth. That's why i gave it to her.
You really didn't do anything except repeat your original statement. I'm asking WHY is it important to have good girlfriends too?

The fact that you are wanting to create a friendship with a girl that you have sexual tension with doesn't make sense if your relation with your girlfriend is important. However, it does make sense if you think you can have something on the side or even have her there for later if things with your girlfriend don't work out.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another
A backup plan
Author:  Zeru [ Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my GF about a sexual thought i had about another
It's funny that you say that because i actually don't know why i need freinds who are girls. I have just been on the forums for a while, and remember picking up the idea that it's imporant to have a good set of guy freinds and girls who are freinds. ._.

Does it not really matter?
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