PUA Forum :: [URGENT] 6 Weeks together perfect, then suddenly distant

Hey,

I met this girl through family. We got off so well it was great. She has a demanding job so I would only see her once or twice a week as we lived an hour apart. I started off not trying as hard as she did and was basically leading things. I asked her out 2 weeks in, she said she doesn't usually do this but she said she was falling for me. We used to stare at each other in bed for so long and we had great sex. She used to say I was perfect, ask me to tell her secrets she didn't know.

I went away to holland for the weekend and came back to her being a bit strange. I went and saw her, we had sex stayed in bed all day, then there was no message from her that night. I thought nothing of it, next day facebook messaged her about something related to buying a car. She ignored it, I got a bit worried as my previous experiences have always ended badly when they stop trying as hard as they did. I would then try and call her like once or twice a day, ask her what is wrong. She said I worried too much.

I would usually have a call with her everyday to discuss her day. She always has a lot to say, and I don't really. I work from home so I don't suffer from any drama. So its mostly her talking. I'm more of a listener anyway.

Soon as the next day came and I didn't hear anything from her, I panicked. I text her asking: "Hey, not sure what has happened, but we need to have a talk." If something is bothering you let me know. I would prefer to be honest so we can move together or not. Just don't leave me scratching my head. I want to support you, but if you want me out of the picture, then I'll understand."

I didn't hear for a while, so I said. "I'll take that as a yes. Thank you for everything."

She responded with: "you haven't even let me respond. So my guess is you're leading to that decision?"

"I said I don't, I just question why we are not speaking SPAM. I like to know how your day is going."

She said we can speak tomorrow. She called me in afternoon, but only wanted to talk about something related to work, and that she would call me later.

I said okay, around 8-9. She offered to call at midnight, I text her saying I am awake but I am going to bed. The next day, I didn't hear anything again, so I messaged her that night after trying to call her twice saying "I wanted to call to tell you, but I don't think it is working anymore."

I have now not spoke to her for 2 days. She has since responded by text saying. "Okay. I understand" and then yesterday said: "And you couldn't have told me to my face". I have resisted the urge to respond to her, but I really want to talk to her. I was a bit irrational with my decision to end it, but I just got a bad feeling.

What should I do? I do still like her and miss her.

Thanks!

I got a bit worried as my previous experiences have always ended badly when they stop trying as hard as they did.

I would usually have a call with her everyday to discuss her day.

I like to know how your day is going

Hey,
she said she doesn't usually do this but she said she was falling for me. We used to stare at each other in bed for so long and we had great sex. She used to say I was perfect, ask me to tell her secrets she didn't know.

I went away to holland for the weekend and came back to her being a bit strange. I went and saw her, we had sex stayed in bed all day

then there was no message from her that night.

I would then try and call her like once or twice a day, ask her what is wrong. She said I worried too much.

I would usually have a call with her everyday to discuss her day.

Soon as the next day came and I didn't hear anything from her, I panicked. I text her asking: "Hey, not sure what has happened, but we need to have a talk." If something is bothering you let me know. I would prefer to be honest so we can move together or not. Just don't leave me scratching my head. I want to support you, but if you want me out of the picture, then I'll understand."

I didn't hear for a while, so I said. "I'll take that as a yes. Thank you for everything."

She responded with: "you haven't even let me respond. So my guess is you're leading to that decision?"

I said okay, around 8-9. She offered to call at midnight, I text her saying I am awake but I am going to bed. The next day, I didn't hear anything again, so I messaged her that night after trying to call her twice saying "I wanted to call to tell you, but I don't think it is working anymore."

I have now not spoke to her for 2 days. She has since responded by text saying. "Okay. I understand" and then yesterday said: "And you couldn't have told me to my face". I have resisted the urge to respond to her, but I really want to talk to her. I was a bit irrational with my decision to end it, but I just got a bad feeling.

What should I do? I do still like her and miss her.

Thanks!

Thanks for all the great responses.

Found out she got with some guy who she was doing business with for a website. She was off with me for a reason, wish I didn't invest so much time in wondering and just moved on long before...

Live and learn.

Found out she got with some guy who she was doing business with .

Author:	pua_89 [ Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:00 am ]
Post subject:	[URGENT] 6 Weeks together perfect, then suddenly distant
Hey, I met this girl through family. We got off so well it was great. She has a demanding job so I would only see her once or twice a week as we lived an hour apart. I started off not trying as hard as she did and was basically leading things. I asked her out 2 weeks in, she said she doesn't usually do this but she said she was falling for me. We used to stare at each other in bed for so long and we had great sex. She used to say I was perfect, ask me to tell her secrets she didn't know. I went away to holland for the weekend and came back to her being a bit strange. I went and saw her, we had sex stayed in bed all day, then there was no message from her that night. I thought nothing of it, next day facebook messaged her about something related to buying a car. She ignored it, I got a bit worried as my previous experiences have always ended badly when they stop trying as hard as they did. I would then try and call her like once or twice a day, ask her what is wrong. She said I worried too much. I would usually have a call with her everyday to discuss her day. She always has a lot to say, and I don't really. I work from home so I don't suffer from any drama. So its mostly her talking. I'm more of a listener anyway. Soon as the next day came and I didn't hear anything from her, I panicked. I text her asking: "Hey, not sure what has happened, but we need to have a talk." If something is bothering you let me know. I would prefer to be honest so we can move together or not. Just don't leave me scratching my head. I want to support you, but if you want me out of the picture, then I'll understand." I didn't hear for a while, so I said. "I'll take that as a yes. Thank you for everything." She responded with: "you haven't even let me respond. So my guess is you're leading to that decision?" "I said I don't, I just question why we are not speaking SPAM. I like to know how your day is going." She said we can speak tomorrow. She called me in afternoon, but only wanted to talk about something related to work, and that she would call me later. I said okay, around 8-9. She offered to call at midnight, I text her saying I am awake but I am going to bed. The next day, I didn't hear anything again, so I messaged her that night after trying to call her twice saying "I wanted to call to tell you, but I don't think it is working anymore." I have now not spoke to her for 2 days. She has since responded by text saying. "Okay. I understand" and then yesterday said: "And you couldn't have told me to my face". I have resisted the urge to respond to her, but I really want to talk to her. I was a bit irrational with my decision to end it, but I just got a bad feeling. What should I do? I do still like her and miss her. Thanks!

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:18 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [URGENT] 6 Weeks together perfect, then suddenly distant
Quote: Hey, I met this girl through family. We got off so well it was great. She has a demanding job so I would only see her once or twice a week as we lived an hour apart. I started off not trying as hard as she did and was basically leading things. I asked her out 2 weeks in, she said she doesn't usually do this but she said she was falling for me. We used to stare at each other in bed for so long and we had great sex. She used to say I was perfect, ask me to tell her secrets she didn't know. I went away to holland for the weekend and came back to her being a bit strange. I went and saw her, we had sex stayed in bed all day, then there was no message from her that night. I thought nothing of it, next day facebook messaged her about something related to buying a car. She ignored it, I got a bit worried as my previous experiences have always ended badly when they stop trying as hard as they did. I would then try and call her like once or twice a day, ask her what is wrong. She said I worried too much. I would usually have a call with her everyday to discuss her day. She always has a lot to say, and I don't really. I work from home so I don't suffer from any drama. So its mostly her talking. I'm more of a listener anyway. Soon as the next day came and I didn't hear anything from her, I panicked. I text her asking: "Hey, not sure what has happened, but we need to have a talk." If something is bothering you let me know. I would prefer to be honest so we can move together or not. Just don't leave me scratching my head. I want to support you, but if you want me out of the picture, then I'll understand." I didn't hear for a while, so I said. "I'll take that as a yes. Thank you for everything." She responded with: "you haven't even let me respond. So my guess is you're leading to that decision?" "I said I don't, I just question why we are not speaking SPAM. I like to know how your day is going." She said we can speak tomorrow. She called me in afternoon, but only wanted to talk about something related to work, and that she would call me later. I said okay, around 8-9. She offered to call at midnight, I text her saying I am awake but I am going to bed. The next day, I didn't hear anything again, so I messaged her that night after trying to call her twice saying "I wanted to call to tell you, but I don't think it is working anymore." I have now not spoke to her for 2 days. She has since responded by text saying. "Okay. I understand" and then yesterday said: "And you couldn't have told me to my face". I have resisted the urge to respond to her, but I really want to talk to her. I was a bit irrational with my decision to end it, but I just got a bad feeling. What should I do? I do still like her and miss her. Thanks! Wow! I feel for you Bro, but I gotta tell you that was one of the neediest posts I've read in a while. Your hot and sexy vibe is getting its ass kicked by your needy and clingy actions. Stop texting her! Yes, actually calling and texting someone every 3 minutes does make you needy. What do you think you communicate to her by acting like a desperate wimp? A man who never learned how to stop being needy has a self-worth that equals zero. No woman wants to be together with a zero. Not your first rodeo I take it? You've acted like this before? Quote: I got a bit worried as my previous experiences have always ended badly when they stop trying as hard as they did. You will lose the girl you are with if you don’t learn how to stop being needy. If you don’t acknowledge to yourself that you have this problem and if you are not willing to stop. Neediness is a desperate need for affection. The extreme need for affection that will cause a person to take someone else's spouse, sleep with the same sex, bang an ugly girl or lower, or engage in masturbation. To be needy is a guy who needs attention no matter what the cost. A person that doesn’t have much confidence and will bug the living shit out of some poor girl just for a little attention. They are always suspicious, aggravating and generally become frustrating. Needy is desperate, plain and simple! Do you know why women like the “bad guys”? Because they are the opposite of being needy. They don’t care about the girl. They might not answer her phone calls. They might come 50 minutes late for a date. If you think about it for a second, how can a man be completely in love with a woman that he’s just known for 6 fucking weeks? And even if you fucked her a few times, you hardly even know her. That’s exactly what women think about needy men. “He doesn’t even know me… Why does he call me so much? He must be some loser”. Calling a girl again and again, leaving her messages, sending flowers, telling her that they can’t sleep without seeing her. This is completely insane! But many men still do this. Showing neediness only makes women like you less. So if a girl starts losing interest in you, behaving needy is not the solution. The reason why girls hate guys that are needy is because girls are attracted to MEN. Being needy is a characteristic of a child not a man. A Guy who acts like a child (needy) “is asking" a girl to treat you like a mother and girls hate that. Women want a man that can lead them into wonderful experiences. Women want a man that can make them feel beautiful, sexy, fun, safe, excitement, desire, attraction, all at the same time, regardless of age, income, or looks. A woman has to surrender to you in order for these things to happen. How do you expect her to do this if you are the one acting needy? How do you make her feel all these amazing emotions if you're the needy one? A real man has to be a leader. Then women will follow you. When YOU are a leader then the needy ones will come to you. So when a woman needs love and intimacy she will not only like and want you, she will have to stand in a long line. Women want a strong man who is confident and independent. Because being needy is emotionally draining and all consuming. Everyone needs alone time. For the same reason why guys don’t like girls that are too needy... why would you want to emotionally take care of a grown person who is completely capable of taking care of them? To girls needy guys are like wedgies, they just can't pull them out of their ass fast enough and they won’t care who’s looking!

Author:	R.C [ Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:19 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [URGENT] 6 Weeks together perfect, then suddenly distant
Quote: I would usually have a call with her everyday to discuss her day. Quote: I like to know how your day is going I will never understand this. What exactly is it with guys and wanting to know how her day is going? how can you honestly care about such mundane things. If something extraordinary happens I'm pretty certain she'd let you know regardless so what about asking the same question and hearing the same answer every day fascinates dudes to this degree? There is nothing in your post to even hint towards her acting shady. You're the once that got increasingly more insecure and to be honest if I were in her shoes I'd slowly start distancing myself from you as well. Neediness is repelling. I mean you said it yourself that you go overboard due to previous experiences and that's a dealbreaking mistake. You can't expect to have successful relationships if you live in the past. She even told you that you worry too much but you kept on doing it with even greater intensity. Then you broke up with her via text? what kind of shit is that? What you should do is get your shit together. What you may also do is properly invite her for a coffee and converse like two adults instead of hyperventilating all over the place. But I'll let you know right now that this situation will repeat itself again and again unless you decide to do something about the actual problem - your neediness. Heywood couldn't be more right in his explanation. Nobody wants a leech sucking the life out of them 24/7.

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Fri Jun 24, 2016 11:43 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [URGENT] 6 Weeks together perfect, then suddenly distant
Quote: Hey, she said she doesn't usually do this but she said she was falling for me. We used to stare at each other in bed for so long and we had great sex. She used to say I was perfect, ask me to tell her secrets she didn't know. That's awesome and a good sign. Quote: I went away to holland for the weekend and came back to her being a bit strange. I went and saw her, we had sex stayed in bed all day Why? A dominant man does not lounge about all day. Even if you have nothing to do, ACT like you do. Women want a man who has shit to do, who can't lay around in a bathrobe and eat Captain Crunch all day. This is clingy behavior, IMHO. Quote: then there was no message from her that night. See? I didn't even read this part before I wrote the paragraph above. Quote: I would then try and call her like once or twice a day, ask her what is wrong. She said I worried too much. This is needy behavior, and way too soon for 6 weeks. Quote: I would usually have a call with her everyday to discuss her day. Too much. Let her call you. Quote: Soon as the next day came and I didn't hear anything from her, I panicked. I text her asking: "Hey, not sure what has happened, but we need to have a talk." If something is bothering you let me know. I would prefer to be honest so we can move together or not. Just don't leave me scratching my head. I want to support you, but if you want me out of the picture, then I'll understand." This was a COMPLETELY unnecessary text! Just let her chill, and let her contact you. Quote: I didn't hear for a while, so I said. "I'll take that as a yes. Thank you for everything." She responded with: "you haven't even let me respond. So my guess is you're leading to that decision?" You're focusing too much on this girl. Let her have some space. She likes you, just chill out. Quote: I said okay, around 8-9. She offered to call at midnight, I text her saying I am awake but I am going to bed. The next day, I didn't hear anything again, so I messaged her that night after trying to call her twice saying "I wanted to call to tell you, but I don't think it is working anymore." I have now not spoke to her for 2 days. She has since responded by text saying. "Okay. I understand" and then yesterday said: "And you couldn't have told me to my face". I have resisted the urge to respond to her, but I really want to talk to her. I was a bit irrational with my decision to end it, but I just got a bad feeling. Totally unnecessary texts. You should've been arranging meet-ups, not asking her about her day constantly. Quote: What should I do? I do still like her and miss her. Thanks! You self-sabotaged this entire thing due to your own insecurities. Text her the truth ASAP: that you're embarrassed at how you handled breaking things off with her, that she deserved better (see her face to face comment for proof) and that you want a few days to think about things, and you'll be in touch. Then text her 5-7 days later to meet up. This accomplishes two things: 1. It "cleanses" the neediness she felt from you, proving that you can go a few days without chatting her up. 2. It opens the door for a return. I;m not saying it will accomplish that, but it might. If she begins conversing with you again, arrange a freaking meet up. Enough pen pal shit.

Author:	n2thevoid [ Sat Jun 25, 2016 1:22 am ]
Post subject:	Re: [URGENT] 6 Weeks together perfect, then suddenly distant
calm the fuck down!

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Author:	pua_89 [ Fri Jul 08, 2016 12:11 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [URGENT] 6 Weeks together perfect, then suddenly distant
Thanks for all the great responses. Found out she got with some guy who she was doing business with for a website. She was off with me for a reason, wish I didn't invest so much time in wondering and just moved on long before... Live and learn.

Author:	dicemaster [ Sat Jul 30, 2016 3:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [URGENT] 6 Weeks together perfect, then suddenly distant
Quote: Thanks for all the great responses. Found out she got with some guy who she was doing business with for a website. She was off with me for a reason, wish I didn't invest so much time in wondering and just moved on long before... Live and learn. sO another dick in the pic man. Next time do not call for a while after you fuck. She should call you. You became her bitch. Game lost.

Author:	ackileez [ Thu Aug 18, 2016 4:24 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [URGENT] 6 Weeks together perfect, then suddenly distant
Quote: Found out she got with some guy who she was doing business with . 1. Unless you actually seen her kiss and hold hands and share car rides in the morning with this guy. He probably doesn't exist or is just a decoy. This guy is the easiest fire retardant to put out your crazy neediness. 2.Let's say he is real, and those 2 are hooking up now. Who's to say in 1 month or even 3 she's gonna hate him and come looking for a fun relaxed guy to have fun with? This is where you blew it. You got needy. You got really needy. you got Super needy. You got so needy you broke up with her as a last means for a response. Cause it wasn't because your feelings have changed. If you would've stuck to the basic rules of mirroring investment levels, and ping texting, 3 months later you couldve picked up right where you left off. who knows it could've been even for 1 week before she messaged you again very eager for a meet up which could've been the spark for a relationship. Ever been in her shoes? You're seeing a new girl at the moment and it's great, then another girl comes into your life - hotter girl or an ex, then the new girl feels your distance and starts being needy and starts shooting off questions and heartache and KILLS the whole thing. If she would've Mirrored my investment level, and ping texted me every now and then, kept it light and fun. Even if i ignored her the whole time. If I suddenly am rocky with hotter girl or an EX, I'll respond and see her. It's funny how as you get more experience,you realize game is more about not blowing it, as opposed to chasing.

Author:	n2thevoid [ Thu Aug 18, 2016 6:23 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [URGENT] 6 Weeks together perfect, then suddenly distant
Master Yoda say strong in you, the neediest force is. Hmmmmmm.

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [URGENT] 6 Weeks together perfect, then suddenly distant
You're currently in self sabotage mode. You're getting ready to slide down a emotionally slippery slope and this will be completely over when you hit the bottom if it isn't over already. Sometimes people need space for one reason or another man. Period could be approaching, work stress, family, friends, going through a phase in which you're reflecting a lot on misfortunes etc. etc. But once you become pushy the way you're being you're not allowing that person to grow out of whatever it is they are going through. One or two check ups is enough, at that point you have to be mature & patient and realize that when they're ready to come to you about whatever it is thats going on they will come to you. You have to focus on your career, your business, and not get sidetracked by ever changing emotions. The door says pull, and you're pushing. And you're going to push her away if you don't stop. When she's ready to talk she'll come to you. If its breaking up, if theres a another guy, or if she's just going through something and needed space you will find out in due time. Why do you have to know now? Thats the microwave age for you. Everything else comes so instant we forget that relationships take time and patience. If you can't be patient, just break up with her and move on.. Don't be an emotional burden by trying to manipulate her into acting how you want her to at every turn. Give her time, and focus on you. If she comes she comes, if she goes she goes, but you're not going to one thousand call and text your way out of the inevitable. Your best shot is to display your maturity, that way you retain the respect even if you don't retain the relationship.

Author:	Cross De Lena [ Fri Aug 19, 2016 2:37 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [URGENT] 6 Weeks together perfect, then suddenly distant
You'll feel down for some time, nothing can change that. But understand it's a passing emotion, and you're on your learning curve. Everyone here gave you fundamental advices that you should read more than once, and outline the most important things and work on them. And by the way, there are 3-4 billion vaginas left. Good luck.

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