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| Relationship hurdle https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=197455 |
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| Author: | methodology [ Wed Jun 01, 2016 5:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Relationship hurdle |
Every relationship I am in seems to follow a similar pattern, although the length of time and other factors change. I can't help but believe it's mostly self-inflicted. I have the belief that things are too good to be true and eventually things will start to fall apart, and she will realize I am a loser (not the man I am at the start of the relationship). I'm not really sure why this belief happens and it is hardly conscious, but I think I can tie it back to when I first started dating. I became very good at reading people, and I could date pretty much anyone to begin with but after a few relationships didn't work out I had this creeping sensation of all of them being doomed. I could pinpoint when relationships would end, or the tide would turn, and I used this as a way to know if I should pull out or get ready for a break up. Who I am at the beginning is never who I am at the end of the relationship. I've been working on this, because I know a lot of the problems of why this happens now, but I still think I hold this belief. It holds me back from being the confident man I am by making me believe that things are eventually going to end, and finding the evidence for that, and also by identifying with negative qualities that make my belief of not being the good qualities. I know this is probably best in the inner game section but it's the first time I've been able to really vocalize the underlying belief that's been causing me problems. |
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| Author: | Eddie Fews [ Wed Jun 01, 2016 5:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Relationship hurdle |
Simple put man.. You have thin skin. You're on a pick up artist site, but how often do you take pick up artist like risk? How often are you approaching women on the street? How many of these women did you meet on some dating app/social circles and not by approaching in a public setting? It just sounds like you're a guy who has yet to come into himself, because you haven't put in the work. Get out there, get rejected(in women or in life period) and develop the thick skin that women respect. Your insecurities will be tested by people until you strengthen them. If you're insecure women will be insecure around you. If you start to feel like they're going to leave you, they'll feel like their must be something better because YOU don't even think you're worthy of them. A lot of men start off great because thats when you can pretend. The woman hasn't gotten to know you enough to see through your bullshit. You can be lazy in the beginning. You don't have to be the man you say you are. But as time goes on, they start to see you for you more and more and test you more and more to see if you're what you pretended to be and that will wear you down. Next thing you know you'll be back at square one trying to pretend all over again. Do the work man. Some people have life experiences early on that develop them in ways in which they don't have to do the work. Some don't. You're not one of them people. Get out there, get uncomfortable until you become the man that you want to be. |
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| Author: | methodology [ Wed Jun 01, 2016 6:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Relationship hurdle |
I see value in what you are telling me. One main problem I have had is keeping my own life and conforming to what she wants. I have been working on this and it makes sense that if I lose sight of being the man I want to be in order to keep her happy, this will happen. Thanks for the reply. |
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