I hope you felt it was nice to just see me, despite shit. I mainly just wanted to tell you not to be anxious or worry or think about me and the hospital. I didnt tell you because, i don't want you to be thinking of me or worrying or upset and anxious. Take care of yourself x Dont bother messaging me for a while, if its not about wanting to meet, i will just ignore it.

I hope you felt it was nice to just see me, despite shit. I feel that I am being respectful. We've spent lots of time together where we have made out, and havent had sex and I am happy with that. I like spending time with you and don't want to pressure you into anything more. Our feelings get crazy sometimes and I do want you but i can take it or leave it. I understand you feel anxious though, what can I do to help?..oops ...I meanly just wanted to tell you not to be anxious or worry or think about me and what it might be, and the hospital next week. I will tell you what the doctor said, maybe you know.., i just don't want you to be thinking of me until i tell you.

She's fucking other dudes, why bother?

i dont know, just that chemical..we have a lot of fun together usually..
She did that once, i left her...she bawled and punished her enough. She saiod it was only inital but was thinking of me and couldnt carry on

"went cold to show me she is overwhelmed, got anxious and feels anxious about us. and me making plans for things for us to do"

Question is do you want to continue with somebody who communicates so passive aggressively?

If you do by all means continue. Certainly she's having difficulty being transparent with you about her needs, you're likely contributing to the pattern too with your own punishment patterns.

Punishment never works and it only serves to undermine any chance of developing healthy bonds. You're both acting destructive towards each other, and from an outside observer perspective that is likely contributing to her pattern of unease in continuing with this relationship.

Unless the two you can have an honest discussion about needs (and meeting them), first connecting at an emotional / feelings level, there's no hope for any healthy reconciliation.

In the end you maybe better off seeking a relationship with someone who has a healthier, more Secure attachment style.

Interesting insight, thank you very much for the reply.
Though i am unsure, because her destruction started before i ever did anything top punish, thats my response.

We had agreed to meet the last time we talked, she just text asking to meet. Ill let her know my plans and see if they fit, and maybe meet today and ..i have no idea what to say...but, ill see if i can think of something to discuss at an emotional / feelings level without sounding pushy and without sounding a just friend