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| Reigniting the fire https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=196494 |
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| Author: | methodology [ Fri Apr 01, 2016 1:29 am ] |
| Post subject: | Reigniting the fire |
I've found myself in somewhere between a rock and hard place. I've been working on my life while in a long term relationship. I quit my old job and found a better one. Started my own business. Applied for a Masters program with a stipend and tuition covered. The list goes on. However, I believe it has left me neglecting my partner. She's been distant. Sex has dried up. Although I think anyone will point to cheating, it isn't the case. You'll have to just trust me on that one. However, I have been making a lot of flubs and my social game has really taken a toll while working on myself. It's amazing how easy it is to lose perspective. She consistently chats up how she loves other people's energy, she can talk forever to them, and so on. I take that as a sign that my energy sucks or is too serious, and our conversations are too goal oriented and analytical. I was being a bit insensitive during times she wanted to open up to me and I know it hurt her. She was being distant for that reason and not really wanting to be in my presence. I backed off and stopped letting her detachment make me feel needy and she has started to respond positively. She has a lot on her plate as well and she's been stressed and I've been doing my best the last week to just stop taking her detachment personally, be positive, put on a smile, and be supportive. Like, no shit, right? Anyways, I know that all of our problems are stemming from my funk and that she wants me to move with her and I've been cautious about it with all that I have going on. Now she has stopped seeming like that is a thing and everything is very day to day instead of future talk. She complained initially that I didn't engage in future talk with her and the reason being as above. So now here are the points: I messed up and she doesn't trust me emotionally completely. How can I quickly switch over from my serious focused self to a social and fun guy? The guy I used to be? I know it won't be quick but some forward movement. She has started to give me my needs as I have been giving her her needs like being positive, enthusiastic, animated, supportive....etc. however, I want to turn this transformation into a full blown one. Primarily I want fun, adventure, and sex. She's expressed desires for fun and adventure and I have a feeling sex will come soon after. I hope this is a clear post. She essentially has been telling me how much I've been making mistakes but never enough to get my attention. Now she has my attention, and thankfully she is responding to my changes. My outer game has really taken a hit and my inner game is really stuck in business mode. I need to fake it till I make it or something. Who can get me out of my slump? |
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| Author: | R.C [ Fri Apr 01, 2016 5:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Reigniting the fire |
You need to learn how to separate your work life from your social life. That's it. You don't need "outer game". You don't need to game your girlfriend. You simply need to learn how to be flexible. When you leave the workplace, work is over. It's time to have fun now. Quote: Who can get me out of my slump?
That would be you.
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| Author: | methodology [ Fri Apr 01, 2016 7:45 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Reigniting the fire |
Thanks! I guess overthinking it is not doing me any good. |
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| Author: | dicemaster [ Fri Apr 01, 2016 12:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Reigniting the fire |
You need rot and balance dude. |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Apr 01, 2016 2:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Reigniting the fire |
Quote: You need rot and balance dude.
Is a monkey using your keyboard? And do you have a man crush on R.C.?
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| Author: | methodology [ Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Reigniting the fire |
What do you mean "rot"? |
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| Author: | dicemaster [ Sat Apr 02, 2016 6:29 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Reigniting the fire |
Quote: Quote: You need rot and balance dude.
Is a monkey using your keyboard? And do you have a man crush on R.C.?Rot means rotation, term comes from auto repair. If tour car goes right or left instead of goig straight when you are not directing, should go to repairer for rot and balance settings. |
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| Author: | methodology [ Sat Apr 02, 2016 6:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Reigniting the fire |
Ah I see. So that's what's going on with my car. Good news - tonight I broke that dry spell of sex with her. She's being more affectionate, complimentary, and loving. Things are on their way up! I think one huge thing I did was reassure her that her moving wouldn't mean I wouldn't join her down the line but I have things to iron out. She's very much into independence and living our own lives but giving her faith that we were still going to have a time to eventually meet up definitely put her investment back into the relationship. A long with me being more positive and everything else I wanted to re-establish. |
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