| PUA Forum https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/ |
|
| I am torn. Continue or not? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=195661 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | sapipa [ Thu Mar 17, 2016 7:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | I am torn. Continue or not? |
One year ago I meet a girl. From the beginning this didn't go easy. She broke up with me, I followed the advice here and three months later she started chasing me. Than I didn't follow the advice here and I decided to give it another chance. The second try we kept having struggles. In this period it became clear to me that she was suffering from a drug addiction and severe attachment issues. Underlying is a disrupted family situation during her childhood (my guess); a father who was abusive to her mother and extremely authoritative figure and a mother that never showed her love. She has been able to run away from her issues her whole life and now because of me she suddenly has to face them and its causing her to not be able to have a serious and stable relationship. One month ago, while on a holiday with her family she again completely shut me out and pushed me away (maybe this was too soon for her). It was enough for the both of us and we decided to break up. It became quite clear very soon that she wants to give it another try. I caved in to her calls and messages to see me and last weekend we met... of course all was (very) good and she spent the night at my place. After this she started behaving as if we were in a relationship again. Yesterday I told her again that it would be best to stop seeing each other. Now I'm really torn to give it another chance or not. She has started counseling (specifically for drugs 3 months ago, and for her attachment and escapism issues just recently) and she is really trying her best to fix this. I've always liked her very much and i'm convinced we love each other. I can see her as a life partner IF she can fix this issues. I truly believe that she has all the potential to overcome these issues and that she might also finally be ready to actually overcome them. Should I be there for her or should I let her go and focus on myself? I would be open for relationship counseling if that's what it takes... I haven't always been the strong and solid rock in this relationship, which has caused me to sometimes act needy because of her behavior, seeking confirmation. Or getting really upset and taking stuff personally... So I clearly need some work on myself. But should therapy be necessary after only 1 year? My mind was so clear after our holiday, right now it's really clouded... |
|
| Author: | JackZero [ Thu Mar 17, 2016 8:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am torn. Continue or not? |
Quick question. Are you the type of guy that likes to rescue women? |
|
| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Mar 17, 2016 8:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am torn. Continue or not? |
Quote: I haven't always been the strong and solid rock in this relationship, which has caused me to sometimes act needy because of her behavior, seeking confirmation. Or getting really upset and taking stuff personally..
Well blaming her for your own insecurity, isn't going to help. Being all flip floppy with your decisions won't either.
|
|
| Author: | sapipa [ Thu Mar 17, 2016 9:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am torn. Continue or not? |
Quote: Quick question. Are you the type of guy that likes to rescue women?
Might be. I've thought about this as well. Although my previous LTR of 5 years was with a very stable girl. But I've been in love with woman "who needed saving" before yes. These never turned in to relationships however. |
|
| Author: | masterm1ne [ Thu Mar 17, 2016 9:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am torn. Continue or not? |
As usual, the choice only you can make... it's not like it's anyone else decision. This isn't going to cost me any of my time money or pussy, so you have to deciede if it's worth your time money or other pussy to do it? If you have a trillion years [for her to change], at least 3 million $, and no other pussy, I would give it a shot. With things like this of course typing out lists or pros and cons or a forum posts helps at least. |
|
| Author: | R.C [ Fri Mar 18, 2016 8:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am torn. Continue or not? |
I don't get it. You come here and ask for advice. You're given the advice. You ignore the advice and act against it. You come back saying "I know I ignored the advice but I need more advice". You will get the advice. You will act against it again. What's the point? |
|
| Author: | dicemaster [ Fri Mar 18, 2016 1:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am torn. Continue or not? |
Ask yourself, if she is worthy to all this possibly rescue actions? I would say find another without any of these baggages. I would be too heavy to carry for you. |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|