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| Author: | Dwf1990 [ Sun Feb 14, 2016 3:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Need some guidance |
So I've been dating this girl for 6 years off and on (more on than off though) we live in the same city but for the past 4 years she lived elsewhere while in school so it made it tough. Anyways she has cheated on me a few times and I've been quick to forgive her and I admire her honesty but lately she went on her school grad trip and ended up skinny dipping (guys and girls) although really it's not a big deal but just considering the history I flew off the handle. I'm wondering if I had over reacted I said we should take a break and stuff like that Anyways after I said all of that she asked if I'm coming to see her off for her next flight, her one flight gets in tonight leaves tomorrow only its a 4 hr drive one way and I'm a pretty busy guy lots of responsibilities work related. I don't know if I will see her off because I feel like she just isn't taking me seriously. That she thinks I'll just forgive her fuk ups and she will get away with it. There has been this girl I met a year ago when we split up for like a month or two and we just ended up talking yesterday and she asked how everything is blah blah. And then she said after I got her opinion that maybe I just need to take a break and try things with another girl and see if I can get over her. I'm not sure if that was a hint or not haha. But I'm really thinking about it, or at least it would be a very strong signal to my current gf to wake up and learn from your screw ups. Besides the dumb shit she does we have an extremely strong relationship and have been talking about getting married (living arrangements after she's done school) So tonight for Valentine's Day I'm going to this girls house that I know just to bring her some flowers and chocolates and see if I can start something up with her. I'm not sure if that's a good idea or not or if I should just try to work things out or fix things with my "ex" gf. I really can't imagine not having her in my life anymore, but It really can't continue on the way it has. Just wondering what your opinions on the matter are? Thanks |
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| Author: | n2thevoid [ Sun Feb 14, 2016 5:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need some guidance |
No trust, nor security there - the very foundational elements to any healthy relationship. She breached that long ago. If you can't forgive her you ought to move on rather than toil in feelings of chronic insecurity. Or, as an alliterative go get couples counselling if you're adamant on working on this but you really would be better served in thinking about if this is is someone that's worth your energy to continue with. Wait...she'd cheated on you a FEW times? Once is enough, but a few? Ridiculous. Compounded by the fact it's an on/off relationship for the past 6 years, and can potentially go on for another 6 easily and u'll likely have nothing to show for progressive-wise. Sounds like you're settling and massively compromising your value by staying with her this is a negative feedback loop that's corrosive for your self-image and a sure-fire way to delve into depression. |
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| Author: | Dwf1990 [ Sun Feb 14, 2016 6:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need some guidance |
Honestly yeah I probably am in a sense settling because she has been such a big part of my life for so long. And then on top of that I'm extremely busy, I own a farm so it's basically 12 plus hours a day 7 days a week haha. So I'm just in the back of my mind worried I'll die alone or something. But then when this other girl told me that it kind of got me thinking maybe I should try something with her. But you spoke the truth and honestly it's been tough on me these past few months |
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| Author: | n2thevoid [ Sun Feb 14, 2016 7:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need some guidance |
Quote: Honestly yeah I probably am in a sense settling because she has been such a big part of my life for so long. And then on top of that I'm extremely busy, I own a farm so it's basically 12 plus hours a day 7 days a week haha. So I'm just in the back of my mind worried I'll die alone or something. But then when this other girl told me that it kind of got me thinking maybe I should try something with her.
Sounds like you'd be better off without her in your life. Less drama, probably breath a lot easier. Compared to what you have I'd sooner be by myself.
But you spoke the truth and honestly it's been tough on me these past few months |
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