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Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
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Author:  coolguy2013 [ Mon Jan 18, 2016 2:01 am ]
Post subject:  Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
I've seen mixed responses on this exact topic, so curious if my case is more clear-cut or if I'm just not seeing things clearly.

Overall, all is positive with my new girlfriend (great sex and getting along with her personality), except for a couple things that really frustrate me:
1) I get the feel that she seems overtly friendly and smiley to strangers (particularly men) as if she is hungry for attention (e.g.: waiter, guy at cash register, brother's friend, sometimes getting touchy and calling them sweetheart right in front of me, or asking questions to a friend like "is he tall?" about some other guy, again right in front of me--why the hell would she care about someone else's height? LOL). Also, sometimes she will speak "to me" slightly louder than her normal voice (which is not loud by default) in the presence of another guy, in a "playful/whiny" type of voice as if she wants to gauge a reaction? Not sure...
2) She is constantly glued to her cellphone, usually snapchatting (mostly viewing, but also sometimes sharing), and checking the FB/IG feeds, and sometimes texting with her phone tilted at odd angles as if I have superpowers and could somehow read from 4 feet away (not that I ever even try to invade her space/privacy). Side note: she owns a selfie stick and likes to take pics when out in public (but rarely by herself, and in all fairness I think most chicks like taking pics). To clarify, in all fairness, she busts out the phone periodically, not the entire time to the point of having our convos get interrupted. Also, she is extremely sweet overall and caring towards me (and to others as well).

With regards to number 2, I've asked her before if she is bored or why she is compelled to keep doing that (and I'm confident our convos are never boring either!), but I didn't really get a solid answer yet (probably because I didn't express enough annoyance against it at the time and I was trying to keep the overall mood upbeat and positive).

Another side note, she broke out one time when we were having a romantic convo about each other and told me that I'm the only person who's ever valued her for "her"--what the hell does that mean? As opposed to what, for her goodies? LOL.

So with that said, are the points mentioned above a red flag or serious concern for a long-term GF, or am I misinterpreting things here?
Author:  Style981 [ Mon Jan 18, 2016 7:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
One word: Insecurity

Stop being insecure. If you feel like any problem, better discuss with her. But first make sure there's actually a problem. Right now, it just looks like you're being insecure and over analyzing things.
Author:  coolguy2013 [ Mon Jan 18, 2016 7:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
Thanks for the reply, Style981. You are probably right to some degree. But in terms of the common tell-tale signs of attention whores and the fact that it's best to stay away from them, based on my description and your experience, do you think so far she fits the bill of a typical AW, or do the symptoms seem mild and likely non-troublesome down the line?
Author:  oceanx [ Mon Jan 18, 2016 7:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
I agree that it stems from insecurity. You are the king of your castle. Every other man on the planet should be irrelevant to you from the standpoint of how you frame them in your mind vis a vis your woman. Think of them as "quaint."
Quote:
She is constantly glued to her cellphone
ugh
Quote:
With regards to number 2, I've asked her before if she is bored or why she is compelled to keep doing that
Because she does not possess the presence of mind to realize that she is copying mass behavior and probably enjoys the rush that comes from receiving a phone alert.
Quote:
but I didn't really get a solid answer yet
Honestly, more sophisticated women have the capacity to see societal trends like these and do not succumb to them in many instances. If they do succumb to them, they are fully aware of what they are doing.
Author:  coolguy2013 [ Mon Jan 18, 2016 8:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
Thanks for the response, oceanx. Great quote btw, regarding being the king of my own castle! So in that analogy, should I talk to her about these annoyances and let her know that "thou shalt not pull that shit in my castle" or completely disregard it as if it's hard to notice small things like that through my large bullet-proof castle walls? 8)

I want to let her know royalty doesn't behave as such and not indirectly promote that behavior by being passive about it, ya know? How would you handle it?
Author:  R.C [ Mon Jan 18, 2016 10:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
Did we not answer this question in your last topic?
Author:  coolguy2013 [ Tue Jan 19, 2016 1:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
It was a similar question (whose cause happens to be related, caused by insecurity), but different questions brought up at a more progressed stage of the relationship, so I was curious what the pros here had to say about these particular use cases.
Author:  neo87 [ Tue Jan 19, 2016 5:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
Quote:
I've seen mixed responses on this exact topic, so curious if my case is more clear-cut or if I'm just not seeing things clearly.

Overall, all is positive with my new girlfriend (great sex and getting along with her personality), except for a couple things that really frustrate me:
1) I get the feel that she seems overtly friendly and smiley to strangers (particularly men) as if she is hungry for attention (e.g.: waiter, guy at cash register, brother's friend, sometimes getting touchy and calling them sweetheart right in front of me, or asking questions to a friend like "is he tall?" about some other guy, again right in front of me--why the hell would she care about someone else's height? LOL). Also, sometimes she will speak "to me" slightly louder than her normal voice (which is not loud by default) in the presence of another guy, in a "playful/whiny" type of voice as if she wants to gauge a reaction? Not sure...
2) She is constantly glued to her cellphone, usually snapchatting (mostly viewing, but also sometimes sharing), and checking the FB/IG feeds, and sometimes texting with her phone tilted at odd angles as if I have superpowers and could somehow read from 4 feet away (not that I ever even try to invade her space/privacy). Side note: she owns a selfie stick and likes to take pics when out in public (but rarely by herself, and in all fairness I think most chicks like taking pics). To clarify, in all fairness, she busts out the phone periodically, not the entire time to the point of having our convos get interrupted. Also, she is extremely sweet overall and caring towards me (and to others as well).

With regards to number 2, I've asked her before if she is bored or why she is compelled to keep doing that (and I'm confident our convos are never boring either!), but I didn't really get a solid answer yet (probably because I didn't express enough annoyance against it at the time and I was trying to keep the overall mood upbeat and positive).

Another side note, she broke out one time when we were having a romantic convo about each other and told me that I'm the only person who's ever valued her for "her"--what the hell does that mean? As opposed to what, for her goodies? LOL.

So with that said, are the points mentioned above a red flag or serious concern for a long-term GF, or am I misinterpreting things here?

Yeah. She's an attention whore.

She eye fucks dudes when outs with you.
Extra flirty/friendly to men.
Glued to phone

As you said she's hungry for attention. Nothing wrong with that...it is what it is. Her eye fucking dudes alone signals she's an attention whore at the least; a huge red flag at the worst.

Having said that, this is where I hate giving my take on threads like this. But I'll talk just as if you were a friend in person with these concerns:

I'd be very cautious

Giving eye invites to other guys when you're there, being extra friendly with other men, thirsty for other dudes even when you're there, hiding what she's texting sometimes....I'd guess at the very least, your girl is flirting behind your back (HECK, SHE IS FLIRTING RIGHT IN YOUR FACE SOMETIMES WITH THE EYE FUCKS AND ASKING ABOUT OTHER DUDES), at the worst, she's cheating. If she's that thirsty in front of you, and no, I dont mean a girl checking out a guy is thirsty, I mean eye fucking as in the other thread and hiding text sometimes....its not tough to guess whats going on behind your back. Anytime I've heard a guy friend describe a gf hungry for male attention and weird phone stuff, she was either cheating or flirting. Also, when a girl is used to be seen as an object, its very hard to break that pattern.

I say all that just to be honest. At the very least, what you dont like ie touching other guys, the loud voice, the eye invites should be addressed if you dont see them as respectful to you.
Author:  Style981 [ Wed Jan 20, 2016 9:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
Quote:
Thanks for the reply, Style981. You are probably right to some degree. But in terms of the common tell-tale signs of attention whores and the fact that it's best to stay away from them, based on my description and your experience, do you think so far she fits the bill of a typical AW, or do the symptoms seem mild and likely non-troublesome down the line?
On #1, YES she does sound like an AW. But let's be honest every girl likes attention to a certain degree. What you can do is 2 things:

1. If it sounds too much to tolerate, tell her clearly and if she doesn't comply move on.

2. The other thing, which I recommend, is to accept her as she is. Do NOT TRY TO CHANGE a person because she never will. If she likes fucking around with other dudes you telling her won't stop her anyways.

So just accept it as it is and feel free to do the same. So next time you go out you can talk about the waitress the same way as she does (not to get revenge but if you really feel like) and if she calls you out then you can talk to her and mutually set the boundaries.

On #2, her glued to the phone, that's just plain insecurity. Even if she wants to hide something, there are countless possibilities other than a dude she's texting (and fucking) behing your back.

So overall, from your post, it sounds like 50% AW symptoms (which I would say are natural) and 50% insecurity on your part. You can only control the latter remember. Hope that helps.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Wed Jan 20, 2016 2:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
I don't think this is insecurity on your part at all. You have to listen to your gut.

I think your case is legitimate, and I've also think you've let this go too far for far too long for you to do anything about it now. And at the same time, if you're posting about her, I'll take it that you don't have the strength or will power to walk away from that situation. Maybe this is what you like though? I personally would of never taken a girl like this serious.

Now when she said " you're the only guy thats ever valued her". I wouldn't interpret that as a "good thing". Thats a bit troubling to think about. Are you sure you're not the nice guy that wifed up a hoe? If thats the case I would cut my loses before you hit up on this forum crying about oneitis. Hoes do not make house wives man.

It also sounds like she doesn't respect. The girls I date just wouldn't do some of that shit (commenting on other guys, titling the phones etc.) because they would want me to know that they respect me, and that they want me to know that they're trust worthy.

Its commonly said on this forum, because a lot of guys come up here because they're in dysfunctional relationships, but I'd get rid of her immediately. No if, ands, or buts. You can do better.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
Quote:
free to do the same.
Author:  Cross De Lena [ Wed Jan 20, 2016 5:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
You are just sliding with whatever she does. You probably never confronted her with that behavior. It's okay to check you phone now and then, but for e.g. I don't like cigarettes and told the girl I won't hang out with her if she continues to do that.

She took me seriously only after I pulled the cigarette out of her month and throw it into the trash can. She was pissed, yea. But, it's take it or leave it kind of deal, or at least how I roll.

Same as phone - don't throw in the trash can though - but don't allow her to type all the time. Grab her phone (be rude sometimes she wont bite) and tell her that's it for an half an hour. If she makes a scene, that means her priorities are not you, your wants, but her stupid phone which further means --> She doesn't respect you. And girls don't love boys whom they don't (can't) respect.


About complimenting other guys, it's important to notice if she did this from the beginning?

I'm not familiar with that, but I wouldn't like that either anyway. It's disrespectful and you are probably low value guy in her eyes so she can allow herself shit like that due to she knows you wont say jack shit about it.


Point is, start putting yourself first in relationship. Don't post here again until you do this so we can see where's this going.

Good luck :)
Author:  ChocolatePUA [ Fri Jan 22, 2016 3:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
Quote:
I've seen mixed responses on this exact topic, so curious if my case is more clear-cut or if I'm just not seeing things clearly.

Overall, all is positive with my new girlfriend (great sex and getting along with her personality), except for a couple things that really frustrate me:
1) I get the feel that she seems overtly friendly and smiley to strangers (particularly men) as if she is hungry for attention (e.g.: waiter, guy at cash register, brother's friend, sometimes getting touchy and calling them sweetheart right in front of me, or asking questions to a friend like "is he tall?" about some other guy, again right in front of me--why the hell would she care about someone else's height? LOL). Also, sometimes she will speak "to me" slightly louder than her normal voice (which is not loud by default) in the presence of another guy, in a "playful/whiny" type of voice as if she wants to gauge a reaction? Not sure...
2) She is constantly glued to her cellphone, usually snapchatting (mostly viewing, but also sometimes sharing), and checking the FB/IG feeds, and sometimes texting with her phone tilted at odd angles as if I have superpowers and could somehow read from 4 feet away (not that I ever even try to invade her space/privacy). Side note: she owns a selfie stick and likes to take pics when out in public (but rarely by herself, and in all fairness I think most chicks like taking pics). To clarify, in all fairness, she busts out the phone periodically, not the entire time to the point of having our convos get interrupted. Also, she is extremely sweet overall and caring towards me (and to others as well).

With regards to number 2, I've asked her before if she is bored or why she is compelled to keep doing that (and I'm confident our convos are never boring either!), but I didn't really get a solid answer yet (probably because I didn't express enough annoyance against it at the time and I was trying to keep the overall mood upbeat and positive).

Another side note, she broke out one time when we were having a romantic convo about each other and told me that I'm the only person who's ever valued her for "her"--what the hell does that mean? As opposed to what, for her goodies? LOL.

So with that said, are the points mentioned above a red flag or serious concern for a long-term GF, or am I misinterpreting things here?
Going with Eddie here - one or two things may be insecurity, but adding them all up seems to be a red flag for you. And if you think it's a red flag, it probably is a red flag.

First off, know your limits and boundaries, and communicate these to her. If she's on her phone too much, tell her that. Tell her WHY you don't appreciate her being on the phone while in your presence and gauge her feedback. Also mention that although you understand that other guys are attractive and there's nothing wrong with that, some of her behavior makes you uncomfortable.

Judge her response. If it's anything other than "Ok I get what you're coming from and I'll tone it down" then you may want to start looking at other options.

For now, don't do ANYTHING drastic, simply communicate your issues, explain why, and continue to monitor her behavior.
Author:  ElCoyote007 [ Sat Jan 23, 2016 12:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
Sounds like a classic narcissist, read up on the traits of a narcissist, then run!
Author:  sarabellum [ Sat Jan 23, 2016 1:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is girlfriend an attention whore or am I tripping out?
Quote:
Quote:
For now, don't do ANYTHING drastic, simply communicate your issues, explain why, and continue to monitor her behavior.
Haven't we all monitored this type of behavior in the past? All of us knew this wasn't a good girl. The result is always the same: blinding ourselves to a tramp and then we feigned disappointment. She is up front about what she is by flirting with others in front of the OP- she is an opportunist and disloyal. Treat her according to her conduct and role in life- tramp. If for whatever reason you are COMPELLED to keep her, keep her as your tramp on the side of your REAL girlfriend, who really digs you and has some virtue (emphasis on "some" in this day of branch swinging women). But, do you really want to have to manage 2 women with all of the accompanying drama?

Today, it is highly unlikely that you will meet a virtuous woman, to make a girlfriend.

MGTOW. Keep your money in your pocket. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk_WaTdhyT0
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