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GF might have cheated, how to handle.
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Author:  r3NeG4de [ Fri Jan 08, 2016 8:24 pm ]
Post subject:  GF might have cheated, how to handle.
Ok, I've been with this girl for 4 months, it started as an open relationship, then got exclusive as we spent alot of time together.

She's been in her hometown for the past 2 weeks. Now, she has this friend let's call him John, whom she knows since last summer. We spoke on the phone almost every day and she was telling me about about how she was bored to go out with her friends at clubs (she's not the club type at all) and instead was with this guy every day, in his house with friends, in his house alone, or how she invited him to study at night with her parents.
When i dropped a couple of hints about her behavior, she just joked about it like, oh i'm with him now too and then i'm just kidding which is the kind of jokes I typically make when she gets jealous.

However, I started getting upset. 2 nights ago I was returning home and I was really cold when she called, and she asked if sth was wrong. I told her that sth happened and I had to get some sleep too. She asked whether it had to do with her and I said that I couldn't promise, and she said tell me I wont be able to sleep...

Anyway, yesterday she said she cant come that day as she had said her tone being much more relaxed and unaffected which made me feel bad, mine tone not as much. I made it clear that I wanted to see her as soon as possible and that we should talk seriously. She called 4 times since then we spoke about coming back and stuff, i told her i was thinking about her... a little... she said "me too, alot" She is coming tonight a couple of hours from now.

So my question is: How should I handle it when she comes?
I will definitely talk to her about this and tell her that her behaviour made me feel very uncomfortable and that it's unacceptable;
What countermeasures do you suggest;
Do you think that I should dominantly f*** the shit out of her when she comes and then talk seriously?

P.S. This guy is leaving for a 9 months will be here some times not very often. From what ive seen he does have some degree of game...
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Jan 08, 2016 8:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: GF might have cheated, how to handle.
What I can tell you is this: if you try to PREVENT cheating, you will FAIL.

It's to late for did she didn't she.

You need to be pre-active, no pro-active.

Not to stop Her from cheating.

But to make her only want YOU.

I can promise you this; If she is worried about YOUR shenanigans during desperation, she won't have any fucking time to think about her own wandering vagina leaving a secret snail trail on some other dudes sheets..
Author:  oceanx [ Sat Jan 09, 2016 7:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: GF might have cheated, how to handle.
Quote:
When i dropped a couple of hints about her behavior, she just joked about it
Here we go again in this forum.

Express yourself. It is insecure to hold in your instinct to confidently say what is on your mind and it is not advisable to have zero boundaries.

When a situation like this occurs, remind yourself that you have nothing to lose. You must be willing to walk. There are millions of women who wouldn't go back to their hometown and proceed to literally chill with one dude for two straight weeks.

If it were my g/f, a meetup with a guy friend here or there, fine - a two week straight nonstop hangout, not fine. If it were me, I would have had her fucking bags packed and waiting for her a week ago. But it wouldn't have gotten to that point because I wouldn't have ended up in an LTR in the first place with a woman who isn't on the same page as me in terms of what's right or wrong when it comes to respecting each other.
Quote:
She asked whether it had to do with her and I said that I couldn't promise,
Speak your mind.

I love you guys but some of you are so afraid of offending your girl or losing her that you aren't giving her what she ultimately wants in the first place: A rock she can depend on.
Author:  Cross De Lena [ Sat Jan 09, 2016 5:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: GF might have cheated, how to handle.
Quote:
Speak your mind.

I love you guys but some of you are so afraid of offending your girl or losing her that you aren't giving her what she ultimately wants in the first place: A rock she can depend on.
This..............


If there would be a list of top 10 advices for relationships, I would pin this motherfucker on the first place.
Author:  J.Daniels [ Wed Jan 13, 2016 11:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: GF might have cheated, how to handle.
If she's the cheating type, and it's not paranoia, get rid of her.

A lot of guys disagree with this, and I've argued with some respectable posters on this forum about it, but I can't see things from their point of view because I just see it as low standards or scarcity mindset. Why settle for an unfaithful girl when there are 3 billion girls just as good, just over half of which are faithful?
Author:  R.C [ Thu Jan 14, 2016 9:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: GF might have cheated, how to handle.
Anyone can be unfaithful JD. The only way someone will be faithful is if their partner is deserving of that loyalty. And I'm not talking about trainwrecks here. That's a different topic I won't even address.

I agree with Heywood. Any woman that has the basic cognitive function of recognizing a quality dude will remain as faithful as a dog to him, as long as he doesn't turn into a pathetic mess of insecurity and neediness all mixed together.

With that in mind OP, I really didn't understand what you think your girl did and even less so why you are not properly communicating with her. She's your girlfriend. Talk.
Author:  J.Daniels [ Thu Jan 14, 2016 1:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: GF might have cheated, how to handle.
Yea, I'm a little too stubborn and unforgiving on the subject. I'lll admit that.

I just prefer the idea of a woman who would leave if I kept fucking up, rather than a woman who would cheat and think "it was a one off, it wont happen again, so I shouldn't tell him because it'd do more bad than good"
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