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Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
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Author:  Zvone [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 7:21 am ]
Post subject:  Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
So, there is a girl that I found on one dating site, she is no club girl- she doesn't drink or smoke and want's a serious relationship- that is ok with me. I would like that and it seems to me things are going that way.

We text 3-4 weeks every day like an hour,and last week we were on 2 dates. I'm afraid that this is too much texting, especially because she is not a fan of some flirty/sexual conversation so I can't escalate much there. Conversation is fun and playful- but not much kisses and other things

First date we kissed, second date in movies I kisses her and we played with each others hands... so that is good.

Question: Should I and how make myself less avalible to prevent it from being boring texting (it is not,but not to mess this up)? I don't want her to think that I'm not interested, but also not the boring guy for who I know will chat with me at a particular time. Advice? :)
Author:  WillEdward [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 2:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
The goal of texting should be to set up logistics for the date. You shouldn't be spending too much time texting for the sake of texting. You should still respond when she texts you but don't get into long conversations. Just be light and playful and move things forward to the next date. And definitely go for the full close the next time you see her.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 2:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
#1 Your not even close to a relationship.

It's only boring 'cause you are making it boring.
Quote:
she is not a fan of some flirty/sexual conversation so I can't escalate much there.
Then why the hell even bother, getting in her pants is the goal still right?
Quote:
second date in movies I kisses her and we played with each others hands... so that is good.
And then what? You dropped her off went home and beat the stuffing out of your willy?

The movies are a shitty date anyways.

Go to the bar. Ask her if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Get her worked up. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Author:  Zvone [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 3:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
Well I said she wants serious relationship and hates clubs, loud bars and stuff. She is 19 and maybe a virgin.. I'm 21 and no I don't want just to fu*k her, I also want a more serious relationship. So what would be your advice in texting game? How to make her invest, not be boring, needy and make her increase interest in me?
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 4:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
Quote:
Well I said she wants serious relationship
texting 3-4 weeks and last week 2 dates, doesn't mean your in one. She's not even a GF yet.
Quote:
How to make her invest, not be boring, needy and make her increase interest in me?
By being that slick cool guy she WANTS to have sex with. That's how it works.

How not to be needy; Signs of Neediness:
1. Buying gifts.
2. Romantic gestures.
3. Expressing your desire.
4. Doing “favors” without reciprocation.
5. Chasing.
6. Over calling/text messaging. (no more than 1 to 1) EVER!

You think “This girl is different, I don’t have to play games with her.” Don't you?
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 4:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
Listen to Heywood.

Have you had a girlfriend before? It doesn't sound like it.

You're miles away from the point where you should be talking relationship with this girl.

Sex first (what if she's horrible in bed or she smells or has an STD or something you don't want to deal with?) Get to actually know her before you just hand over your other options.
Author:  WillEdward [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 6:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
The best and fastest way to get into a serious relationship is to have sex with her as soon as possible.
Author:  J.Daniels [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 6:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
Quote:
Quote:
Well I said she wants serious relationship
texting 3-4 weeks and last week 2 dates, doesn't mean your in one. She's not even a GF yet.
Quote:
How to make her invest, not be boring, needy and make her increase interest in me?
By being that slick cool guy she WANTS to have sex with. That's how it works.

How not to be needy; Signs of Neediness:
1. Buying gifts.
2. Romantic gestures.
3. Expressing your desire.
4. Doing “favors” without reciprocation.
5. Chasing.
6. Over calling/text messaging. (no more than 1 to 1) EVER!

You think “This girl is different, I don’t have to play games with her.” Don't you?
Pretty much word for fucking word perfection. Well said. I'd also be ending the text conversation after setting a date, because you're supposed to be busy. Do you think Obama stops what he's doing to text a girl? Of course not. Priorities.

Also stop thinking about a relationship before you're in one. At the moment you're just seducing a friend (badly) nothing more.
Author:  Zvone [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 8:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
No, of course she is not my GF, but I can't play the same and escalate the same if I want just to have sex with her.. or with this babe that NEVER drinks alcohol and likes to go watch opera and stuff. She is probably a virgin as her saint lifestyle suggest- and that is ok (for now) with me. I'm cool with that.

I have had relationships before,of course! and of course that I don't tell her about "us", "relationship" and shit. I am here not to screw this up because I am a newbie, have not dated few years.

So, as I said- we started texting and text every day about an hour,sometimes more.
Please give me advice on this game!

Last two days, she texted me first... yesterday I waited until 21:40 I didn't want to do it first- and than she texted,and I replied 30 min later so we started talking. Today I texted her,but very short- 5 minutes.. I said I have some work and that I'm going out later.
I think it shows- "Oh, he has other things, I'm not the center of attention"

Is that good move and what to do next with this texting game?
Author:  J.Daniels [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 8:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
Quote:
No, of course she is not my GF, but I can't play the same and escalate the same if I want just to have sex with her.. or with this babe that NEVER drinks alcohol and likes to go watch opera and stuff. She is probably a virgin as her saint lifestyle suggest- and that is ok (for now) with me. I'm cool with that.
Oneitis

Quote:
I have had relationships before,of course! and of course that I don't tell her about "us", "relationship" and shit. I am here not to screw this up because I am a newbie, have not dated few years.
You can lie to yourself but you can't lie to me. Trying to sound like you're not invested, after showing severe oneitis in the previous sentence.
Quote:
So, as I said- we started texting and text every day about an hour,sometimes more.
Please give me advice on this game!
You were told to stop this. That's your advice. Stop being a needy little bitch and trying to lock her down, or she'll run a mile. I can promise you that.
Quote:
Last two days, she texted me first... yesterday I waited until 21:40 I didn't want to do it first- and than she texted,and I replied 30 min later so we started talking. Today I texted her,but very short- 5 minutes.. I said I have some work and that I'm going out later.
I think it shows- "Oh, he has other things, I'm not the center of attention"
Don't ACT busy. BE busy. Get other girls, hobbies, friends. Find other shit to do and always put your vision and your passion before her.
Quote:
Is that good move and what to do next with this texting game?
At this point she should be texting you, at which point you set a date for 3-4 days into the future. She'll then carry on talking, and you say "I've got to get back to ____ but I'm really looking forward to seeing you on Thursday! Dress smart. I've got a surprise planned." because you've got no other reason to talk to her.

I'd suggest reading the Corey Wayne book in the thread in my signature "Best Material For New Guys" ...it'll prevent you ever making mistakes like this again, and it's a fantastic start because it covers everything. Most pick up books are by pick up artists, meaning they're a complete joke. This book covers relationships and there's not a single mention of "amog" or "peacock" or "neg" or any of that shit. Give it a try.

For now, stop justifying your neediness and over-investment.
Author:  Zvone [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 10:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
Quote:
Quote:
No, of course she is not my GF, but I can't play the same and escalate the same if I want just to have sex with her.. or with this babe that NEVER drinks alcohol and likes to go watch opera and stuff. She is probably a virgin as her saint lifestyle suggest- and that is ok (for now) with me. I'm cool with that.
Oneitis

Quote:
I have had relationships before,of course! and of course that I don't tell her about "us", "relationship" and shit. I am here not to screw this up because I am a newbie, have not dated few years.
You can lie to yourself but you can't lie to me. Trying to sound like you're not invested, after showing severe oneitis in the previous sentence.
Quote:
So, as I said- we started texting and text every day about an hour,sometimes more.
Please give me advice on this game!
You were told to stop this. That's your advice. Stop being a needy little bitch and trying to lock her down, or she'll run a mile. I can promise you that.
Quote:
Last two days, she texted me first... yesterday I waited until 21:40 I didn't want to do it first- and than she texted,and I replied 30 min later so we started talking. Today I texted her,but very short- 5 minutes.. I said I have some work and that I'm going out later.
I think it shows- "Oh, he has other things, I'm not the center of attention"
Don't ACT busy. BE busy. Get other girls, hobbies, friends. Find other shit to do and always put your vision and your passion before her.
Quote:
Is that good move and what to do next with this texting game?
At this point she should be texting you, at which point you set a date for 3-4 days into the future. She'll then carry on talking, and you say "I've got to get back to ____ but I'm really looking forward to seeing you on Thursday! Dress smart. I've got a surprise planned." because you've got no other reason to talk to her.

I'd suggest reading the Corey Wayne book in the thread in my signature "Best Material For New Guys" ...it'll prevent you ever making mistakes like this again, and it's a fantastic start because it covers everything. Most pick up books are by pick up artists, meaning they're a complete joke. This book covers relationships and there's not a single mention of "amog" or "peacock" or "neg" or any of that shit. Give it a try.

For now, stop justifying your neediness and over-investment.
Thank you man!

YES I know I am needy- here. I like her because she is the hottest girl I ever dated and like being seen with her. BUT, I am not needy with her- I don't show her that.

Haha I started reading his book today! I also read "The Manual" I am confused because Corey Wayne said don't compliment her in the beginning, but The Manual suggest that you should do it??

Few questions:
1) Her birthday is next monday- should I buy something and what?
2) Last date was 3 days ago,sunday- at the end she said: "See you!" not "I will text you" I think that is good. Than I kissed her and asked: "When are you free, next weekend or before" She said: "I don't know yet." ... So should I ask here again when she is free directly or that would be needy?
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Dec 10, 2015 2:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
Quote:
I like her because she is the hottest girl I ever dated and like being seen with her. BUT, I am not needy with her- I don't show her that.
1st off, she is likely not as innocent as you'd like to believe from that pedestal your building for her.

Think how badly you wanted her.

Before you, during you, and likely after you, everywhere she goes, guys will be coming up with excuses to talk to her.

So stop the pedestal building early. They make new ones like her every day.
Quote:
1) Her birthday is next monday- should I buy something and what?
Acknowledging her birthday is fine, but remember you hardly know each other, so I wouldn't go much above a humorous card. One that teases her a little.
Quote:
2) Last date was 3 days ago,sunday- at the end she said: "See you!" not "I will text you" I think that is good. Than I kissed her and asked: "When are you free, next weekend or before" She said: "I don't know yet." ... So should I ask here again when she is free directly or that would be needy?
It's time to start unleashing some of those basic leadership skills, and confidence.

"We'er going to _______ Saturday, clear your schedule and wear something tight!
Author:  R.C [ Thu Dec 10, 2015 3:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
Quote:
Thank you man!

YES I know I am needy- here. I like her because she is the hottest girl I ever dated and like being seen with her. BUT, I am not needy with her- I don't show her that.
That's what you think. Neediness shows. Sure you can control it in grand gestures, as to not blow up her phone or whatever, but it will still show in the little gestures. And women are not stupid. And are also exponentially more perceptive than men.
The smell neediness like sharks smell blood in the water.

Stop with this idealistic image you're creating of her. I get it, she's smart and sexy. She still has to earn your graces.
Quote:
Few questions:
1) Her birthday is next monday- should I buy something and what?
2) Last date was 3 days ago,sunday- at the end she said: "See you!" not "I will text you" I think that is good. Than I kissed her and asked: "When are you free, next weekend or before" She said: "I don't know yet." ... So should I ask here again when she is free directly or that would be needy?
1) Yeah, humorous card would be perfect, as Heywood suggested.
2) I personally never ask when they're free. I just propose a date that works for me, couple of days or so in advance. If they happen to be busy, only then I ask when they're free.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Thu Dec 10, 2015 5:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
Once you start thinking about how "not to fuck things up" you are already on the road to fucking things up. Its that simple. It is that mentally that is putting someone over you so high that you're thinking about every move you make with them. You're trying to impress when she should be thinking of how she's going to keep you as well.

You're her security, her entertainment, her date, her status etc. Shouldn't she be stressing over how to protect that?

How often does she initiate text ?
Author:  Zvone [ Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice when starting a realtionship :)
Guys thank you very much! Still have to learn a lot!

I am reading How to be a 3% man.... but it contradicts book The Manual... like here it says don't give her compliments, there that you should from the start... here it says be funny,there that woman don't like "funny" man but they think everything that a guy say that they like is funny

Opinions in that?
Any other book for long-term dating? Not pick-up
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