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| Girlfriends avoiding https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=193516 |
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| Author: | Knoxxx [ Sat Oct 24, 2015 3:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | Girlfriends avoiding |
I was diagnosed with depression, so i told my girlfriend about it. She told me to get it out of my mind and that im fine and im gonna destroy myself if i keep thinking that way. I told her that it is a problem that is effecting my life then she started ignoring me. I sent her a text telling her that ignoring me is childish and that she will push me away with this sort of behaviour. She got upset and said i was trying to help u and u call me a child. We stopped talking for 2 days, then i tried calling her and tried telling her she was right i need to be stronger and not let the depression get to me, but i also told her she needs to stop ignoring what i have to say when i talk to her. She said fine, how ever since then shes been avoiding me, sending me short texts and not really talking to me, this has been going on for 2 days and i dont no what to make of it. |
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| Author: | masterm1ne [ Sat Oct 24, 2015 9:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriends avoiding |
Quote: i dont no what to make of it.
I have found in life in general meaning NOT JUST GIRLS... sometimes you just gotta learn to let go man.How do you make the most money trading? Let go of outcomes.... How do you stop being depressed? Let go of the outcomes... How do you get the most girls? Let go the outcomes... Let go... maybe she'll come back. Smothering her with your needs is surely not going to. |
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| Author: | sarabellum [ Sat Nov 28, 2015 8:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriends avoiding |
Quote: Quote: i dont no what to make of it.
I have found in life in general meaning NOT JUST GIRLS... sometimes you just gotta learn to let go man.How do you make the most money trading? Let go of outcomes.... How do you stop being depressed? Let go of the outcomes... How do you get the most girls? Let go the outcomes... Let go... maybe she'll come back. Smothering her with your needs is surely not going to. What you do need in your life, knoxxx, is a woman with emotional intelligence to be your girlfriend. That's the whole point of the meaningful vow, "...in sickness and in health..." to touch someone's life, because you love them. This may come as a surprise, but this whole PUA forum is devoted to tactics and advice on how to deal with women's chronic emotional inability to communicate their true sexual and emotional desires, i.e. "why is she acting crazy?" What you don't need is a superficial girl (her own narcissistic pathology) who will aggravate your depression. By seeking out the emotional connection with women, you are treating your depression, because being emotionally connected to someone is emotional self-sufficiency, i.e. getting your needs met. Isolation is the lack of emotional support and the lack of self-sufficiency, a cause and symptom of depression, "Some common triggers or causes of major depression include: Grief from losing a loved one through death, divorce, or separation... Social isolation or feelings of being deprived...Major life changes -- moving, graduation, job change, retirement...Personal conflicts in relationships, either with a significant other or a superior... Physical, sexual, or emotional abuse..." With your next woman, do not tell her immediately about your depression; rather, break her in slowly as to your life and health. Always get SPAM- your health is priority #1. Good luck. |
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| Author: | Monsignor Crisanto [ Sat Nov 28, 2015 11:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriends avoiding |
A woman cannot fix your depression. Stop sucking women into this negative emotional state. Only YOU can fix your depression. How? 1. Do 6 sets of 3-minute morning sprints at the park. 2. Lift weights in the gym. 3. Drastically reduce your soda intake and other sugary stuff. 4. Go out and have fun with your guy friends. You're a man. Take action. Do NOT talk to women about negative things in the hopes of getting their sympathy. |
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| Author: | sarabellum [ Sun Nov 29, 2015 4:09 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriends avoiding |
Quote: A woman cannot fix your depression. Stop sucking women into this negative emotional state. Only YOU can fix your depression. How?
There you have it. We can now burn the libraries of research conducted by universities and psychologists with PhDs. We'll ignore the contradiction that the above implication that emotional connection with men (homo social) is good for depression but emotional connection with women (hetero-sexual) is bad for depression. We'll also ignore the premise in the above advice in a relationship forum, "Do NOT talk to women about negative things"= do not develop intimacy or communicate with your partner.1. Do 6 sets of 3-minute morning sprints at the park. 2. Lift weights in the gym. 3. Drastically reduce your soda intake and other sugary stuff. 4. Go out and have fun with your guy friends. You're a man. Take action. Do NOT talk to women about negative things in the hopes of getting their sympathy. Psychologists define deeper, interpersonal intimacy as, "The extent of personal disclosure is proportionate to how vulnerable one allows oneself to be with a partner in revealing thoughts and feelings which are not usually apparent in social roles and behaviors of everyday life." http://www.healthyplace.com/sex/good-se ... r-couples/ As this article aptly indicates, intimacy is indispensable to everyone's mental well-being. The support of one's romantic partner is indispensable to successfully addressing depression: http://www.lifehacker.com.au/2015/10/ho ... epression/ There is simply no alternative to informed decision-making based on reading and, of course, seeking professional help. |
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| Author: | Monsignor Crisanto [ Sun Nov 29, 2015 8:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriends avoiding |
^ Rhetorics and non-notable resources will not help you out of depression. 1. http://www.ajpmonline.org/article/S0749 ... 7/abstract That's from the American Jounal of Preventive Medicine. The article has 1024 citations. 2.http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-cond ... t-20046495 That's from the Mayo Clinic; the first and largest integrated nonprofit medical practice group in the world employing 3,800 medical doctors and scientists. The poster advocating that you see professionals appears to be non-professional and irresponsible when it came to citing credible and notable sources. |
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| Author: | StinkyApple [ Mon Nov 30, 2015 9:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriends avoiding |
Mate. The GF is not the issue here, I hope you can see it. Seek help, fix yourself. I now have similiar diagnosis after my recent break up. And you know what, you need to let go and start on fresh. Focus on fixing yourself, instead of fixing your relationship. And then(and you know it), everything good will follow up. Good luck. |
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| Author: | sarabellum [ Tue Dec 01, 2015 12:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriends avoiding |
Quote: ^ Rhetorics and non-notable resources will not help you out of depression.
Therefore, the OP should not seek professional help? That is an unfounded conclusion. The Dunn Study published at AJP, offered by Monsignor, does not make any contention that exercise is a substitute for professional SPAM, limits it narrow findings to moderate depression, and acknowledges that the study was not blinded or offered a placebo group subject to peer review, "The major finding was that the public health dose (PHD) of exercise is an effective monotherapy for mild to moderate MDD...There were limitations in the study. First, participants were unable to be blinded to SPAM assignment; therefore, some participants regarded being assigned to the exercise placebo to be unacceptable and immediately dropped out. Despite efforts to encourage acceptability of all group assignments, it was difficult to maintain adherence in the exercise placebo control group. Second, participants were required to exercise under supervision at CI to overcome many of the criticisms of previous studies, such as controlling for social support and strictly monitoring exercise dose. Because monitoring exercise dose was a major question in this study, it was critical to maintain high internal validity. The high internal validity of this study compromises external validity; therefore, it is unknown how the PHD exercise SPAM might work in clinical practice." The Dunn Study offered only the observation that there was a 47% improvement, at least while the persons were exercising, in test subjects experiencing mild symptoms of depression. 1. http://www.ajpmonline.org/article/S0749 ... 7/abstract That's from the American Jounal of Preventive Medicine. The article has 1024 citations. 2.http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-cond ... t-20046495 That's from the Mayo Clinic; the first and largest integrated nonprofit medical practice group in the world employing 3,800 medical doctors and scientists. The poster advocating that you see professionals appears to be non-professional and irresponsible when it came to citing credible and notable sources. Monsignor Crisanto's discussion is an insurance adjustor's perspective of how to avoid paying insurance benefits for psychotherapy. Not surprisingly, Mongsignor's recommendation is "just walk it off," as it is a non-method requiring no intervention. There is no substitute for the diagnosis (DSM V) of a mood disorder and SPAM by a professional (i.e. clinical psychologist and psychiatrist). Professionals dedicate years of study and practice to treating psychological injuries, http://www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pu ... 1198.6.pdf. One's health is much more complex than an insurance adjustor's musings. Seek professional help. No doubt the moderators would never discourage a member from seeking professional help or purport that this forum is a substitute for competent medical SPAM. |
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| Author: | Monsignor Crisanto [ Tue Dec 01, 2015 12:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriends avoiding |
^ Lol. The OP already stated that he sought professional help. Hence, he was diagnosed with depression. He is asking for relationship advice for a happy and healthy relationship. Moaning about his negative emotional state didn't result to a happy and healthy relationship. Why advice him to keep on doing the same thing that is obviously NOT working? |
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| Author: | J.Daniels [ Tue Dec 01, 2015 12:20 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriends avoiding |
Sarabellum is honestly the worst troll on this forum. Up there with Model and Heart Charmer. |
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| Author: | neo87 [ Tue Dec 01, 2015 1:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriends avoiding |
Quote: Sarabellum is honestly the worst troll on this forum. Up there with Model and Heart Charmer.
Lol, I actually think she makes some sense here. Namely that if the OP is going to fight his depression through SPAM (I'd advise a good mental health phsyician who would advice what MC says anyway), if he's going to fight his depression AND be in a relationship, he needs a woman that can understand him and be there emotionally. Thats not to say he should weep on her shoulder, its his responsibility to sort his shit out, but if you have a gf in this scenario, make sure she's a good chick. Like if you have depression, dont be with the girl who brings drama into your life, or who adds stress to that. Reading OP's other posts, this is a long distance rocky relationship....not the kind you'd want to be in, ESPECIALLY when dealing with emotional issues anyway. |
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| Author: | J.Daniels [ Tue Dec 01, 2015 1:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriends avoiding |
Quote: Quote: Sarabellum is honestly the worst troll on this forum. Up there with Model and Heart Charmer.
Lol, I actually think she makes some sense here. Namely that if the OP is going to fight his depression through SPAM (I'd advise a good mental health phsyician who would advice what MC says anyway), if he's going to fight his depression AND be in a relationship, he needs a woman that can understand him and be there emotionally. Thats not to say he should weep on her shoulder, its his responsibility to sort his shit out, but if you have a gf in this scenario, make sure she's a good chick. Like if you have depression, dont be with the girl who brings drama into your life, or who adds stress to that. Reading OP's other posts, this is a long distance rocky relationship....not the kind you'd want to be in, ESPECIALLY when dealing with emotional issues anyway. She definitely does have a valid point, but her post, to me, usually roughly translate to "It's fine to be needy because all humans do it! Just make sure you don't do it in a needy way". |
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| Author: | neo87 [ Tue Dec 01, 2015 5:20 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriends avoiding |
Quote: Quote: Quote: Sarabellum is honestly the worst troll on this forum. Up there with Model and Heart Charmer.
Lol, I actually think she makes some sense here. Namely that if the OP is going to fight his depression through SPAM (I'd advise a good mental health phsyician who would advice what MC says anyway), if he's going to fight his depression AND be in a relationship, he needs a woman that can understand him and be there emotionally. Thats not to say he should weep on her shoulder, its his responsibility to sort his shit out, but if you have a gf in this scenario, make sure she's a good chick. Like if you have depression, dont be with the girl who brings drama into your life, or who adds stress to that. Reading OP's other posts, this is a long distance rocky relationship....not the kind you'd want to be in, ESPECIALLY when dealing with emotional issues anyway. She definitely does have a valid point, but her post, to me, usually roughly translate to "It's fine to be needy because all humans do it! Just make sure you don't do it in a needy way". |
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| Author: | Monsignor Crisanto [ Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriends avoiding |
Yep. I see her siding with men as well. As for professional help though when it comes to depressions, three professionals will provide different approaches. An internist will likely prescribe a pharmaceutical product like prozac or valium, a psychiatrist/psychologist will prescribe theraphy which will cost anywhere from US $50 - $150 per hour, and a non-profit organization will prescribe regular aerobic exercises provided OP has no heart ailment. As for studies, there's a reputable study that says pharmaceutical products and clinical theraphy underperform the positive effects of exercise. Exercise is safer and more cost effective. That is the finding of that study. Since this is the relationship section of a pick up forum and NOT a medical forum, I simply adviced OP to lead a happier and healthier life. If he is happy and healthy, her girlfriend will mirror the same. I also strongly disagree that emotional connection through negative things is a more potent cure than emotional connection through positive things. It is more productive and potent when your girlfriend remembers the happy and positive moments in your relationship rather than being emotionally connected to the sad and negative memories of your relationship. Sarabellum has good intentions. It's just that her point just doesn't make sense. The OP is asking for relationship advice and sarabellum is promoting psychiatric/psychological advice. It's kinda like this: OP: I have a problem with my girlfriend. S: You need a lobotomy. Seek professional help. My point is: Even doctors provide second and third opinions when it comes to medical SPAM. Leave the doctors alone and let's focus on fixing the relationship problem. |
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| Author: | R.C [ Wed Dec 02, 2015 11:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriends avoiding |
OP, I know depression is a serious thing, but in all honesty a depressed man simply is on the opposite side of the spectrum from an attractive man. Regardless of what Hollywood melodramas point out, no, it's not her job to carry you through it. It not her job to support you through it either. If she makes that choice on her own - then great. Props for that. But otherwise you can't have such expectations of her. It's great to have someone that would take a bullet for you, but you can't realistically expect them to do such a thing. And you sure as hell can't hold it against them if they wouldn't. That being said, aside from what would be professional help, you need to get through this on your own - and become a better man for it. I would say she isn't necessarily avoiding you - but avoiding the huge amount of baggage you're trying to place on her shoulders. |
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