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ending a relationship carefully
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Author:  Kissmychuddies [ Fri Oct 23, 2015 4:10 pm ]
Post subject:  ending a relationship carefully

Hi. I've been with my partner for 3 years, and recently I've started to become unhappy in the relationship. I've lost the love, and really want to end it, but she really doesn't feel the same way at all. She told me the other day that I'm the love of her life.

Before we got together I was married for 20 years, and I don't want to be in a long term relationship. I've been noticing that some very hot women are attracted to me and to be blunt, I want to give myself the chance to fuck around a bit.

I've never been very good at listening to myself and putting my own needs first. I'm trying to change that in a lot of ways, and I feel that I need to be on my own to do so. I tried talking to her about needing my own space and she got really upset, and I ended up going back on what I said. It's not that she's demanding - precisely the opposite, but I just chickened out.

To make matters worse, we live in a small community and she is very well known. All my friends really like her, and think we are a great couple. Our work areas are also closely linked. I can't think of a way to leaver her without coming across as a massive douchebag.

So, any advice on extrcating myself carefully would be really appreciated! Cheers

Author:  DW-Heart-Charmer [ Sat Oct 24, 2015 4:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: ending a relationship carefully

Quote:
I tried talking to her about needing my own space and she got really upset
Don't do this. You know this because it didn't work and only made matters worse. It's far more effective to communicate this in your actions rather than words.

You got a few options here:

The first which is going to be the most conventional advise is to drop her right now. Make a clean and easy break. With this option you will also have to consider the upcoming repercussions. As you stated your town and others are going to know. In addition to your friends knowing and liking her, don't be surprised when she hooks up with them out of revenge or any of the many other possibly detrimental outcomes.

The other option is to form an open relationship. You stated that your desire is "to fuck around a bit." This should only be done if you do care about this girl and she has enough positive aspects to be a girl worth keeping around. I don't know that I get this feeling, but from what you say, she is at least committed enough to make this work.

Otherwise your happiness isn't worth staying in this relationship. Make the change you know that you will eventually have to make and not because of other people, but rather because it is your own life and your first commitment is to your own happiness.

Author:  Kissmychuddies [ Fri Nov 13, 2015 2:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: ending a relationship carefully

Yeah it definitely has to end. I'm just in the process of figuring out how to do it without fucking things up too much! I'm prepared for backlash but I need to minimise it as much as possible!

An open relationship is definitely a no go, for either of us to be honest.

Author:  preetlove [ Mon Dec 07, 2015 4:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: ending a relationship carefully

you need to talk her, where is the problem in your relationship. Because these kind of situations are arise in every relationship.

Author:  DW-Heart-Charmer [ Sat Dec 12, 2015 8:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: ending a relationship carefully

Quote:
Yeah it definitely has to end. I'm just in the process of figuring out how to do it without fucking things up too much! I'm prepared for backlash but I need to minimise it as much as possible!
Do it like a bandaid then. For her respect and yours make it quick and clean and don't look back.
Quote:
An open relationship is definitely a no go, for either of us to be honest.
Open relationships work best with honesty.
Quote:
you need to talk her, where is the problem in your relationship. Because these kind of situations are arise in every relationship.
This is stupid. Don't do this. Most people do relationships like this. It doesn't work. Talking about problems or the other person's behavior gets you nowhere.

Ex: Guy says, "We need to have sex more." ----> Doesn't work.
Ex: Girl holds out sex and thens guy doesn't talk to girl for 3-5 days. Suddenly she wants to have sex all the time.

You lead through your actions and communication in that way.

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Tue Dec 15, 2015 6:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: ending a relationship carefully

The sooner you do this;
Quote:
Do it like a bandaid then. For her respect and yours make it quick and clean and don't look back.
The sooner you get this;


Quote:
I want to give myself the chance to fuck around a bit.
Anything else is like waiting for dial up internet.

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