PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Phone call. Important and stressful situation
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=192932		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  docS20 [ Wed Sep 23, 2015 6:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Phone call. Important and stressful situation
I always wanted this girl, since the moment I met her 6 years ago. Soon after she had been with a boyfriend for 6 years. I have had a few experiences in the meantime (not many unfortunatly), but I am still interested in her; in fact since we were in the same high school and had friends in common, it was almost inevitable to see her. She dumped her boyfriend a month ago, and she told me that she might be interested in another boy; but that same night we kiss each other in a park for 20 minutes at least (in 6 years there has always been some sexual tension between us with lots of innuendos and double meanings; but also there was a quiet strong friendship). A few days later our kiss we watch a horror movie at her place and we start fooling around and she gives me a handjob and I give her a little bit of stimulation, but she stopped me a few times because she didn't feel to have sex. I tried many ways to deal with this last minute resistence but she didn't give up... A week later, we see each other but she barely kissed me and she told me that she was in a confusing situation with her ex-boyfriend that still contacted her over the phone, and this new boy she met and me...

Two days later we had to go out with this friends in common, but I didn't go, I called her telling that I didn't want us to be friends anymore and that she had to decide within the next week (she had to leave for a trip) if she wanted to be with me or whether didn't want me to see her again; she said something like "I though I was pretty clear about our situation" (she had told me a few times that she didn't want a relationship for the next few months after 6 years with her last boyfriend). 10 days have passed and still no answer.

I assume that by not calling me she implicitly answered me by telling "I don't want to be with you". Yet, should I call her? What should I say to her?

It is yet my intention to cut our relationship and friendship if she doesn't want us to be more than friends and not see her ever again; I have suffered a lot by seeing her these years .
Author:  DW-Heart-Charmer [ Wed Sep 23, 2015 11:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Phone call. Important and stressful situation
Quote:
Two days later we had to go out with this friends in common, but I didn't go, I called her telling that I didn't want us to be friends anymore and that she had to decide within the next week (she had to leave for a trip) if she wanted to be with me or whether didn't want me to see her again; she said something like "I though I was pretty clear about our situation" (she had told me a few times that she didn't want a relationship for the next few months after 6 years with her last boyfriend). 10 days have passed and still no answer.
You give away any power you had with an ultimatum. "Be my girlfriend now or else." Well we know who is in control of the situation and it isn't you. Even further, why would she want to be in a relationship with a commanding man that forces her into a corner?

Your big chance was to get her past last minute resistance and seal the deal, unfortunately this didn't happen. She was at least sexually interested in you, proof in the hand job. But you gotta let it be her choice. Most guys are doing exactly what you did, "Me, choose me. I want a relationship with you. Please choose me." What if you demonstrated that you were the man of quality while those other fuckers did dumb shit like that? Then maybe she would be the one pursuing you for a relationship!

Likely it is over. She won't call you realizing suddenly what a great guy she is and wanting to settle down with you instantly. What you could do, and your best chance at the slight level of success here would be to just hit her up with something totally unrelated and continue in a non-needy, unattached way, where you inspire her to feel nothing but positive emotions.
Author:  R.C [ Thu Sep 24, 2015 6:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Phone call. Important and stressful situation
You're done.

You gave her an ultimatum? When she barely got out of a relationship, a SIX year relationship you start throwing ultimatums her way and acting all entitled?

Man this girl must be disgusted with you right now. The new guy is probably fucking her as I'm writing this post. And he didn't do shit. You did all the work for him and pushed her straight into his arms.
Quote:
I assume that by not calling me she implicitly answered me by telling "I don't want to be with you".
Exactly.
Quote:
Yet, should I call her? What should I say to her?
Yes, call her. Give her another ultimatum.
No you should not be calling her. You made your decision and placed your bet. It was a stupid thing to do, but you did it anyway. Now hold on to whatever shred of dignity you still have left and be a man true to your word. Assume the consequences of your actions.
Quote:
What you could do, and your best chance at the slight level of success here would be to just hit her up with something totally unrelated and continue in a non-needy, unattached way, where you inspire her to feel nothing but positive emotions.
No. He can't do that. Because he is both needy and attached. That neediness is what caused this mess in the first place and there's no way a dude that has been hung over the same girl for SIX years can suddenly become the exemplar of attractiveness.

PS: NEVER throw ultimatums ever again. It's the most unsexy thing a man (or woman) can do and it sends people running.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/