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| Nurturing attraction in a moment of distance https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=190502 |
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| Author: | ShinRa [ Fri May 22, 2015 3:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | Nurturing attraction in a moment of distance |
TL; DR: Met a girl with whom we established a strong connection and great chemistry (both physical and intellectual). For work reasons, I needed to move before we could strengthen the bond into a real relationship. I'm flexible with work and really this distance is not mandatory (i.e. this doesn't need to be a LDR long-term), but I haven't told her yet: instead, I backed-off before she would. My aim is to try to have a relationship with her, despite the current difficult logistics. Her signals show that she's very much into me, but probably scared. Hello, I recently met this girl with whom we hit off really quickly and intensely. Unfortunately, I've met her in a time of moving around. After we first met she went on a trip for a week, during which she would send me texts everyday about how she thought of me all the time. When she came back, I unfortunately had to relocate for work for an indefinite amount of time within ten days. During these ten days, I established a strong frame and attraction. Examples would be such things as: She: "This afternoon I'm not available, I will be from 8pm though. What should we do?" Me: "Nah! I'll tell you the plan, instead… […telling her a different plan]" She: "So you are asking to ditch everything I needed to do until 8, in short? You don't look like somebody who accepts a no easily, right?" Me: "v_v" She: "Just as I thought." Me: "Then see you at 16.30. I'll leave you this hour." She: "Alright, Sir." Since then she often called me "sir" or "boss", and complied massively. Sex was also quite amazing: I established the same dominating frame, and made her beg and orgasm intensely. I don't tell this to brag, just to give some back story of what we've established. After sex, she did some shit test (such as: "Have you been with many women?") and then opened up, telling me how much she felt connected with me and that never happened. During those ten days, I pre-emptively addressed her rational fears, by actually telling her indirect things such as: "Long distance things have never worked for me", and direct ones such as: "If I weren't going, I wouldn't let go of you", to which she replied: "I would probably run away, like I always do.", and I said: "You wouldn't be able to." and she replied with a smirk: "You are really confident, aren't you?" and kissed me. The confidence thing came out a lot, to be honest, as I had established it from the beginning. At the end of the ten days, after a night of sex and a lazy morning together, I said Farewell to her, in a way that would hint at a real Farewell. Later (5 days), during my business travel, I had to go through the same place she had gone in her above-mentioned trip. So I sent her a text, telling how the place was full of her smell. She replied with an email, which, in short, said something like: Quote: I thought you didn't want to speak to me anymore, I am happy to have received this message. I hope the memory doesn't disappear as fast as a smell does.
I replied with an email the next day, of which the overall message was something like:Quote: Yes, I planned to to hear from you, but I Felt our connection and I had to do that, although with the awareness that we won't meet again.
(Again, I'm backing off before she does)She replied with a longer email, saying something like this: Quote: I have to say that to keep in touch by emails is something that charms and comforts me. It would be unacceptable to lose the connection made with somebody like you, it would hurt me having met you and not having you in my life. I feel something of you left inside me, though convinced of the impossibility to make our so-different souls meet.
So, getting to the point: I want to try to build up a relationship with her. The unfortunate conditions of distance are subject to change at any time, and I have enough flexibility with my work to make them change fast if need be. Obviously, I cannot bring this up so quickly, as it would definitely be too strong of a commitment and it would scare her off (besides, I am not sure myself I Would do it: I just know I Could).
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| Author: | Eddie Fews [ Fri May 22, 2015 4:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Nurturing attraction in a moment of distance |
Part of your seduction was based around the idea that you wouldn't be seeing her anymore after this moment. This added to her attraction and intensified your allure. The frame you were projecting the entire moment is also one of "this is your only chance with me" so part of what she feels for you is because of this. Why all of a sudden have you decided to compromise your morals and the original status of the relationship? In this state you were the least emotional and because of it were making the wisest and most logical decision for you at the time. What taken place after that isn't as accurate for you to make a judgment based upon. |
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| Author: | ShinRa [ Fri May 22, 2015 8:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Nurturing attraction in a moment of distance |
You are indeed right saying that part of the allure was the one chance only feeling. We both played on it, and it intensified our connection and sped it up incredibly. You asked why I compromised my morals and original status of the relationship. I haven't done any of it, yet. My morals, I won't compromise; the original status of the relationship is something I aim to change, because my desires changed as well. I didn't do it, yet – because as you put so well – it makes me in a position of reckless judgement. I want to suggest to her the feeling of "maybe there can be one more chance", without broadcasting it. |
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| Author: | Eddie Fews [ Fri May 22, 2015 8:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Nurturing attraction in a moment of distance |
Then be subtle and make the change gradual. You're not just going to do a complete 180 after a couple days. That'll show that you're word can be relied on. You're not a girl. It'll work in the moment, but the whiplash will follow. I say give it a couple days to rethink it. This may not even be what you actually want. You're emotions are just swaying. They'll return back to normal if you give them the time to. She'll know what you want without you having to say it. We can't hide our frame, and that's the number one thing women are interpreting. |
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