PUA Forum :: Girlfriend Being little suspicious

Hi, this is my first post.
So, We are both 21 and we are in relationship for 9 months. Of course, we had both good and bad times, but nothing to worry about.
So, the situation: We've always texted in SPAM, because she was always the one (if I chated with her over facebook) who said switch to SPAM, and then when we texted there, It would take longer for her to reply while she was active on facebook during that time. That was before, now, I didn't "obey" her wishes that we always text on SPAM, so for the last month and more, we chat over facebook only, however, today I went on SPAM to check it, and she removed the "Last seen" option, so I can't see when she was on WA anymore, so I asked her whats with that.

She said it like:"I don't want my friends asking me why I didn't answer them while I'm answering you, so THEY(her friends) can't see it anymore". Now, that would make total sense if we would STILL chat over SPAM, but we never do it anymore, we only chat over facebook, so clearly that's a lie, because she doesn't go to SPAM to answer me anymore.

What should I do about it? Thanks.

My gut is telling me that something is up, but that doesn't help, what should be my next move? I mean, I can't just sit with dick in my hands, right?

No change in her behavior, actually she's showing me more affection then ever, things are actually much better to be true.

She showers me with affection when we are on date, like kissing my hand for no reason, telling me that she loves me, watching The Avengers movie with me without complaining... For our last month anniversary she cut out about 150 small pieces of paper, wrote a date and a day on it, and short info about that particular date to highlight best moments for every one of them individually.

So, when everything seems so perfect, and this little SPAM detail comes along, and her explanation has no sense at all, it doesn't matter how perfect, white the sheets are, that little 'lie' is so easy to spot.

Any significantly change in her behavior in the last month MIGHT me that she's kind of trying to take control of the relationship by trying to be bossy and so on, but other than that, noup.

I showed it about a month ago when for about two-three times she was online on WA or FB and didn't reply at all. Or once she 'seen' me on facebook, she came later with excuses I don't even remember now. That all happened in the last month, recently this "Last seen" things is non-existent anymore.

What else...

She gets jealous really easily, let's say God forbid... I don't answer her in time span of 10 minutes or less while being active on facebook and she complains about it.

But when she doesn't answer me even if she is active, or online, then it is okay because she, well, has explanation for her behavior all the time.

EDIT: What about these emotional cheating? I couldn't even name someone who she could do it with, having in mind she spends her time with me, or at home, or at college, mostly populated by girls, and at her job, where she met two guys and she told me about them, which "accidentally" is about a month ago, one of them is ugly as hell, the other is in relationship. But, who knows.

Quote:

So basically, you called her out for being online but not responding, and now she has hidden her online status.

Quote:

So basically, you called her out for being online but not responding, and now she has hidden her online status.

Yes, I called her out. Now status is gone from WA. Am I being just paranoid?

Author:	HitakoLight [ Sat May 02, 2015 9:43 pm ]
Post subject:	Girlfriend Being little suspicious
Hi, this is my first post. So, We are both 21 and we are in relationship for 9 months. Of course, we had both good and bad times, but nothing to worry about. So, the situation: We've always texted in SPAM, because she was always the one (if I chated with her over facebook) who said switch to SPAM, and then when we texted there, It would take longer for her to reply while she was active on facebook during that time. That was before, now, I didn't "obey" her wishes that we always text on SPAM, so for the last month and more, we chat over facebook only, however, today I went on SPAM to check it, and she removed the "Last seen" option, so I can't see when she was on WA anymore, so I asked her whats with that. She said it like:"I don't want my friends asking me why I didn't answer them while I'm answering you, so THEY(her friends) can't see it anymore". Now, that would make total sense if we would STILL chat over SPAM, but we never do it anymore, we only chat over facebook, so clearly that's a lie, because she doesn't go to SPAM to answer me anymore. What should I do about it? Thanks.

Author:	Noone [ Sat May 02, 2015 9:45 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend Being little suspicious
Quote: Hi, this is my first post. So, We are both 21 and we are in relationship for 9 months. Of course, we had both good and bad times, but nothing to worry about. So, the situation: We've always texted in SPAM, because she was always the one (if I chated with her over facebook) who said switch to SPAM, and then when we texted there, It would take longer for her to reply while she was active on facebook during that time. That was before, now, I didn't "obey" her wishes that we always text on SPAM, so for the last month and more, we chat over facebook only, however, today I went on SPAM to check it, and she removed the "Last seen" option, so I can't see when she was on WA anymore, so I asked her whats with that. She said it like:"I don't want my friends asking me why I didn't answer them while I'm answering you, so THEY(her friends) can't see it anymore". Now, that would make total sense if we would STILL chat over SPAM, but we never do it anymore, we only chat over facebook, so clearly that's a lie, because she doesn't go to SPAM to answer me anymore. What should I do about it? Thanks. I've been cheated on twice, man. If your instinct is telling you something is up and she's being shady. Something is up. Lay down the law but be prepared. It might only be emotional cheating but that shit is worse, trust me.

Author:	HitakoLight [ Sat May 02, 2015 9:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend Being little suspicious
My gut is telling me that something is up, but that doesn't help, what should be my next move? I mean, I can't just sit with dick in my hands, right?

Author:	Noone [ Sat May 02, 2015 9:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend Being little suspicious
Quote: My gut is telling me that something is up, but that doesn't help, what should be my next move? I mean, I can't just sit with dick in my hands, right? Well you can do two things. You can sit with your dick in your hands like I did, think the guy is just a work friend, ignore your gut because you don't wanna kick up dust and have her make up some bullshit why the relationship isn't working, put you as her back-up plan, then get with another dude Or you call her out on it. But before you do that, is there any other signs that shit is changing? Is she more distant than normal? Is she breaking plans? Is she treating you differently?

Author:	neo87 [ Sat May 02, 2015 10:05 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend Being little suspicious
Not seeing anything here that hints at cheating, unless other details are being left out that would make you jump to that. YOU moved her from WA, so you are the one who moved her from the place where you could see when she was online in the first place. No reason she'd think you'd be checking on her on WA, if you decided to just message on fb and you preferred WA. You do seem a bit stalkerish though and I'm sure there are times when you've shown her you had a suspicious side, so I dont know if this is cheating gf, random girl behavior, or a result of some nosey thing you did in the past. But nothing that suggests there's some dude, but I can tell you're leaving some of your behavior and hers out.

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Author:	HitakoLight [ Sat May 02, 2015 10:16 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend Being little suspicious
No change in her behavior, actually she's showing me more affection then ever, things are actually much better to be true. She showers me with affection when we are on date, like kissing my hand for no reason, telling me that she loves me, watching The Avengers movie with me without complaining... For our last month anniversary she cut out about 150 small pieces of paper, wrote a date and a day on it, and short info about that particular date to highlight best moments for every one of them individually. So, when everything seems so perfect, and this little SPAM detail comes along, and her explanation has no sense at all, it doesn't matter how perfect, white the sheets are, that little 'lie' is so easy to spot. Any significantly change in her behavior in the last month MIGHT me that she's kind of trying to take control of the relationship by trying to be bossy and so on, but other than that, noup. EDIT: Yes, in the past few times I did show her my suspicious side.

Author:	Noone [ Sat May 02, 2015 10:20 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend Being little suspicious
Quote: No change in her behavior, actually she's showing me more affection then ever, things are actually much better to be true. She showers me with affection when we are on date, like kissing my hand for no reason, telling me that she loves me, watching The Avengers movie with me without complaining... For our last month anniversary she cut out about 150 small pieces of paper, wrote a date and a day on it, and short info about that particular date to highlight best moments for every one of them individually. So, when everything seems so perfect, and this little SPAM detail comes along, and her explanation has no sense at all, it doesn't matter how perfect, white the sheets are, that little 'lie' is so easy to spot. Any significantly change in her behavior in the last month MIGHT me that she's kind of trying to take control of the relationship by trying to be bossy and so on, but other than that, noup. It's the toughest thing to know. When my girlfriend was emotionally cheating on me, she would argue with me over the smallest, stupidest things. She'd get mad at a lot of the things I would say even if they were non-confrontational. It was getting to me. I knew something was up but I was just emotionally exhausted because she had anxiety issues, I was tired of her always needing attention to feel loved, always telling her she's beautiful, always telling her we would be together forever when she asked.. I was burnt out. I wish I wasn't because I loved her and she left but that's where I was. I was making the choice to stick in a shitty job, thinking how I could move in with her full-time, all because she didn't support anything that didn't immediately subscribe to her notion of "move in, get married, have kids ASAP or he doesn't love me". But before the break-up, she wouldn't come to bed at the same time as me like she always did but she did come into bed, wake me up, make out with my passionately and we'd go at it like we hadn't ever before. Then it was over a few weeks later. Being more affectionate can actually come from cheaters guilt. In the end, we can't tell you if she's cheating or not. Trust your gut though, man. It knows better than the head or the heart in these types of matters.

Author:	neo87 [ Sat May 02, 2015 10:24 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend Being little suspicious
Quote: No change in her behavior, actually she's showing me more affection then ever, things are actually much better to be true. She showers me with affection when we are on date, like kissing my hand for no reason, telling me that she loves me, watching The Avengers movie with me without complaining... For our last month anniversary she cut out about 150 small pieces of paper, wrote a date and a day on it, and short info about that particular date to highlight best moments for every one of them individually. So, when everything seems so perfect, and this little SPAM detail comes along, and her explanation has no sense at all, it doesn't matter how perfect, white the sheets are, that little 'lie' is so easy to spot. Any significantly change in her behavior in the last month MIGHT me that she's kind of trying to take control of the relationship by trying to be bossy and so on, but other than that, noup. EDIT: Yes, in the past few times I did show her my suspicious side. Come on man, give more details. When did you show your suspicious side? What triggered it and what happened? What are these "bad times"?

Author:	HitakoLight [ Sat May 02, 2015 10:31 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend Being little suspicious
I showed it about a month ago when for about two-three times she was online on WA or FB and didn't reply at all. Or once she 'seen' me on facebook, she came later with excuses I don't even remember now. That all happened in the last month, recently this "Last seen" things is non-existent anymore. What else... She gets jealous really easily, let's say God forbid... I don't answer her in time span of 10 minutes or less while being active on facebook and she complains about it. But when she doesn't answer me even if she is active, or online, then it is okay because she, well, has explanation for her behavior all the time. EDIT: What about these emotional cheating? I couldn't even name someone who she could do it with, having in mind she spends her time with me, or at home, or at college, mostly populated by girls, and at her job, where she met two guys and she told me about them, which "accidentally" is about a month ago, one of them is ugly as hell, the other is in relationship. But, who knows.

Author:	neo87 [ Sat May 02, 2015 10:45 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend Being little suspicious
Quote: I showed it about a month ago when for about two-three times she was online on WA or FB and didn't reply at all. Or once she 'seen' me on facebook, she came later with excuses I don't even remember now. That all happened in the last month, recently this "Last seen" things is non-existent anymore. What else... She gets jealous really easily, let's say God forbid... I don't answer her in time span of 10 minutes or less while being active on facebook and she complains about it. But when she doesn't answer me even if she is active, or online, then it is okay because she, well, has explanation for her behavior all the time. EDIT: What about these emotional cheating? I couldn't even name someone who she could do it with, having in mind she spends her time with me, or at home, or at college, mostly populated by girls, and at her job, where she met two guys and she told me about them, which "accidentally" is about a month ago, one of them is ugly as hell, the other is in relationship. But, who knows. So basically, you called her out for being online but not responding, and now she has hidden her online status.

Author:	HitakoLight [ Sat May 02, 2015 10:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend Being little suspicious
Quote: Quote: I showed it about a month ago when for about two-three times she was online on WA or FB and didn't reply at all. Or once she 'seen' me on facebook, she came later with excuses I don't even remember now. That all happened in the last month, recently this "Last seen" things is non-existent anymore. What else... She gets jealous really easily, let's say God forbid... I don't answer her in time span of 10 minutes or less while being active on facebook and she complains about it. But when she doesn't answer me even if she is active, or online, then it is okay because she, well, has explanation for her behavior all the time. EDIT: What about these emotional cheating? I couldn't even name someone who she could do it with, having in mind she spends her time with me, or at home, or at college, mostly populated by girls, and at her job, where she met two guys and she told me about them, which "accidentally" is about a month ago, one of them is ugly as hell, the other is in relationship. But, who knows. So basically, you called her out for being online but not responding, and now she has hidden her online status. Yes, I called her out. Now status is gone from WA. Am I being just paranoid?

Author:	Noone [ Sat May 02, 2015 11:28 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend Being little suspicious
Quote: Quote: Quote: I showed it about a month ago when for about two-three times she was online on WA or FB and didn't reply at all. Or once she 'seen' me on facebook, she came later with excuses I don't even remember now. That all happened in the last month, recently this "Last seen" things is non-existent anymore. What else... She gets jealous really easily, let's say God forbid... I don't answer her in time span of 10 minutes or less while being active on facebook and she complains about it. But when she doesn't answer me even if she is active, or online, then it is okay because she, well, has explanation for her behavior all the time. EDIT: What about these emotional cheating? I couldn't even name someone who she could do it with, having in mind she spends her time with me, or at home, or at college, mostly populated by girls, and at her job, where she met two guys and she told me about them, which "accidentally" is about a month ago, one of them is ugly as hell, the other is in relationship. But, who knows. So basically, you called her out for being online but not responding, and now she has hidden her online status. Yes, I called her out. Now status is gone from WA. Am I being just paranoid? I don't know what to tell you man. My girlfriend emotionally cheated on me with a guy from work. He moved to Ontario, she breaks up with me, three months later, that's where she goes. He was -in- a relationship at the time and broke it off around December before he moved.

Author:	CharlesFinley [ Sun May 03, 2015 12:55 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend Being little suspicious
Like some of the others said - trust your gut. If you feel like something's up, it very well may be. Given the new details you provided, though, is it possible you've sorta... Been a texting/chatting pain in her butt recently in a way that she may feel a little controlled -- and she's simply adapted her settings and privacy so that you won't be so nosey and you'll give her some space? Not judging - just throwing it out there.

Author:	odyn [ Sun May 03, 2015 1:28 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend Being little suspicious
I would usually also say "trust your gut" but this sounds like social media paranoia.

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Author:	maria_ [ Sun May 03, 2015 12:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend Being little suspicious
Why don't you just test it to see what is going on? Do the same thing to her. Hide your online status, stop sending messages first etc. Whatever she does to you do it to her. You can also push it a bit further to see her reactions and read if she is still interested or she is emotionally somewhere else. When you go out for coffee or restaurants flirt with the waitress a little bit. See if she is showing any signs of jealousy or you could also look at pretty women while you are walking on the street like if you were out on your own. See if she gets annoyed. If she still don't show any signs of annoyance join POF. At least if she is planning to leave you you won't be without a rebound girl.