PUA Forum :: Her ex-best friend used to be a friend with benefits

I've been dating a girl for almost two months and everything has been going well until now.

At first she told me she hadn't had sex since breaking up with her ex-boyfriend in August. She turned around a week later and told me that she had had sex in September/October with what used to be her best friend. She says she slept with him back about ten times in total, as at that time as she was feeling bad from the breakup in August. They both live in the same building but in different apartments.

She claims that it ended with that best friend due to him engaging in very hard anal which left her feeling bad for days, despite her telling him to stop, screaming and hitting him (I suppose could almost say rape).

After which they distanced each other and he didn't speak to her anymore. She has tried to confront him about this but he is never around to do so or when they meet keeps ignoring her.

She has refused that I visit her place in fear of me bumping into him but has now told me she will meet and talk to him before the end of the week (to at least clarify whether they are friends or not).

Should I be worried that there is more to this story ? She spends pretty much 5-6 nights per week with me, but this whole story has made me question whether he may come back and crash my relationship or whether something might still happen between the two.

why I will never believe a girl if she says something bad about a guy... This chick is calling rape or near rape and from this story that's bullshit.

There is clearly a desire to continue communicating with a guy that she proclaimed "raped" her and/or forced himself into areas of her body that was "claims" she was against. There is definitely something you are not being told, and that little feeling in your gut that made you write this post is more than likely a reflection of you trying to affirm what you already know.

The amount of days she spends with you doesn't matter too tough. Chicks get married and live with guys and still end of straying.

From my understanding, friendships rarely if ever go backwards.. If they've already broken the sexual barrier it will be easy for things to return back to where they came from again. You just have to figure out what you want. Do you want a girl who is still expressing feelings for a guy that she says raped her?

She lied once, she'll lie again. Women rarely if ever are completely honest about their sexual history. Theres nothing in it for them and too much to lose.

Author:	zatbe [ Wed Apr 22, 2015 11:17 pm ]
Post subject:	Her ex-best friend used to be a friend with benefits
I've been dating a girl for almost two months and everything has been going well until now. At first she told me she hadn't had sex since breaking up with her ex-boyfriend in August. She turned around a week later and told me that she had had sex in September/October with what used to be her best friend. She says she slept with him back about ten times in total, as at that time as she was feeling bad from the breakup in August. They both live in the same building but in different apartments. She claims that it ended with that best friend due to him engaging in very hard anal which left her feeling bad for days, despite her telling him to stop, screaming and hitting him (I suppose could almost say rape). After which they distanced each other and he didn't speak to her anymore. She has tried to confront him about this but he is never around to do so or when they meet keeps ignoring her. She has refused that I visit her place in fear of me bumping into him but has now told me she will meet and talk to him before the end of the week (to at least clarify whether they are friends or not). Should I be worried that there is more to this story ? She spends pretty much 5-6 nights per week with me, but this whole story has made me question whether he may come back and crash my relationship or whether something might still happen between the two.

Author:	maria_ [ Thu Apr 23, 2015 9:32 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Her ex-best friend used to be a friend with benefits
First of all if you put the facts together for what she told you that happened: the guy gave her hard anal against her wishes. If she was a girl who wouldn't feel any emotional attachment to this person, she wouldn't want to speak to him because he extremely disrespected her and hurt her. But she doesn't do that. She is still in contact with the guy. She even places limits into your relationship to save her relationship with him. In other words she values her relationship with him more than she values her relationship with you. If she wanted you and you were her first priority, she wouldn't care about the other guy. She would be focusing into building a relationship with you and he would had been out of the picture. She is meeting him to clarify where their relationship is heading before she uses you as a rebound bf. She wishes she was with him but she can't be with him. He is treating her bad and ignores her. If you have the emotional strength pull the plug now because you will get hurt a lot down the line and it will also hurt your self esteem. Go play the field and let her go deal with her feelings on her own. This guy will be out of her life when their relationship finish. You cannot influence this with whatever method you'd try. Maybe if you keep a distance and you go no contact for at least 3-6 months you might be able to get back with her at the perfect timing when she will have broken up with the guy and had a rebound guy and she is ready for something more meaningful. At the moment the only thing this girl can provide you is a FB status. You have already emotionally invested in her so better leave it and look elsewhere to get whatever you want.

Author:	neo87 [ Thu Apr 23, 2015 3:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Her ex-best friend used to be a friend with benefits
Yeah .... Doesn't make sense. Ps...This is am example of why I will never believe a girl if she says something bad about a guy... This chick is calling rape or near rape and from this story that's bullshit.

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Thu Apr 23, 2015 4:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Her ex-best friend used to be a friend with benefits
Quote: I've been dating a girl for almost two months and everything has been going well until now. At first she told me she hadn't had sex since breaking up with her ex-boyfriend in August. She turned around a week later and told me that she had had sex in September/October with what used to be her best friend. She says she slept with him back about ten times in total, as at that time as she was feeling bad from the breakup in August. They both live in the same building but in different apartments. She claims that it ended with that best friend due to him engaging in very hard anal which left her feeling bad for days, despite her telling him to stop, screaming and hitting him (I suppose could almost say rape). After which they distanced each other and he didn't speak to her anymore. She has tried to confront him about this but he is never around to do so or when they meet keeps ignoring her. She has refused that I visit her place in fear of me bumping into him but has now told me she will meet and talk to him before the end of the week (to at least clarify whether they are friends or not). Should I be worried that there is more to this story ? She spends pretty much 5-6 nights per week with me, but this whole story has made me question whether he may come back and crash my relationship or whether something might still happen between the two. There is clearly a desire to continue communicating with a guy that she proclaimed "raped" her and/or forced himself into areas of her body that was "claims" she was against. There is definitely something you are not being told, and that little feeling in your gut that made you write this post is more than likely a reflection of you trying to affirm what you already know. The amount of days she spends with you doesn't matter too tough. Chicks get married and live with guys and still end of straying. From my understanding, friendships rarely if ever go backwards.. If they've already broken the sexual barrier it will be easy for things to return back to where they came from again. You just have to figure out what you want. Do you want a girl who is still expressing feelings for a guy that she says raped her? She lied once, she'll lie again. Women rarely if ever are completely honest about their sexual history. Theres nothing in it for them and too much to lose.

Author:	maria_ [ Thu Apr 23, 2015 4:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Her ex-best friend used to be a friend with benefits
Quote: why I will never believe a girl if she says something bad about a guy... This chick is calling rape or near rape and from this story that's bullshit. Sometimes a guy can be a prick and she might be telling the truth. I agree that you should be cautious with what you believe but lying isn't something only women do. Men do the same. Most call their emotionally attached ex gf as a psycho, crazy, clingy even if she hadn't done something that wrong. They only need to feel less interested than her to label her that. In the case of op's girl, she is obsessed with the FB.

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Author:	groovy_boy [ Sat Apr 25, 2015 10:27 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Her ex-best friend used to be a friend with benefits
Quote: There is clearly a desire to continue communicating with a guy that she proclaimed "raped" her and/or forced himself into areas of her body that was "claims" she was against. There is definitely something you are not being told, and that little feeling in your gut that made you write this post is more than likely a reflection of you trying to affirm what you already know. The amount of days she spends with you doesn't matter too tough. Chicks get married and live with guys and still end of straying. From my understanding, friendships rarely if ever go backwards.. If they've already broken the sexual barrier it will be easy for things to return back to where they came from again. You just have to figure out what you want. Do you want a girl who is still expressing feelings for a guy that she says raped her? She lied once, she'll lie again. Women rarely if ever are completely honest about their sexual history. Theres nothing in it for them and too much to lose. Without knowing the full background story, I find the above words to be wise. I would say to give her a chance but at the same time be cautious. You still don't know her well enough and it is surprising that she shared this story with you. This information will likely be eating you inside long term and it is up to you to handle it if things go the wrong way and you discover that she is still seeing the other guy.

Author:	chantos [ Sun Apr 26, 2015 8:00 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Her ex-best friend used to be a friend with benefits
She has refused that you visit her place for fear of you bumping into him? She's confronted him about it multiple times? They're still meeting? Her best guy friend was fucking her in the ass too hard and now won't even talk to her about it or isn't around? Do you realize how alpha that makes him? Do you realize how obsessed your gf is with this guy? Get the fuck out of this relationship immediately.

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