PUA Forum :: She lost her confidence

So long story short, I've got a good girl. She's hot, smart, and very high sex drive. We have an open marriage and sex between us has been the best I've ever had. Her confidence is as high as it's ever been, and I find that massively attractive.

Somehow over the last couple months, she starts to lose her confidence. She sort of regresses and slips into a pattern of some sort of minor depression. Lost ambition to exercise, and becomes extremely passive again. (She admits in the past she was this way because she never felt like she deserved to get or have what she wanted.... low self esteem). I am honest with her, and tell her, that is not attractive. I tell her I have lost interest in the open marriage thing, my sex drive is not as high knowing I'm in a marriage and am not attracted to my wife.

We talk about everything, and I am honest with her. Looking for suggestions on how to bring her confidence back. I'm sure if she gets back to where she was I will feel the way I want to, but I feel like she needs to get her confidence back from within. Open to suggestions. What do you guys do when your wife is less than she can be?

Author:	vhou812 [ Wed Mar 04, 2015 8:36 pm ]
Post subject:	She lost her confidence
So long story short, I've got a good girl. She's hot, smart, and very high sex drive. We have an open marriage and sex between us has been the best I've ever had. Her confidence is as high as it's ever been, and I find that massively attractive. Somehow over the last couple months, she starts to lose her confidence. She sort of regresses and slips into a pattern of some sort of minor depression. Lost ambition to exercise, and becomes extremely passive again. (She admits in the past she was this way because she never felt like she deserved to get or have what she wanted.... low self esteem). I am honest with her, and tell her, that is not attractive. I tell her I have lost interest in the open marriage thing, my sex drive is not as high knowing I'm in a marriage and am not attracted to my wife. We talk about everything, and I am honest with her. Looking for suggestions on how to bring her confidence back. I'm sure if she gets back to where she was I will feel the way I want to, but I feel like she needs to get her confidence back from within. Open to suggestions. What do you guys do when your wife is less than she can be?

Author:	JSmooth [ Wed Mar 04, 2015 8:50 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: She lost her confidence
Quote: So long story short, I've got a good girl. She's hot, smart, and very high sex drive. We have an open marriage and sex between us has been the best I've ever had. Her confidence is as high as it's ever been, and I find that massively attractive. Somehow over the last couple months, she starts to lose her confidence. She sort of regresses and slips into a pattern of some sort of minor depression. Lost ambition to exercise, and becomes extremely passive again. (She admits in the past she was this way because she never felt like she deserved to get or have what she wanted.... low self esteem). I am honest with her, and tell her, that is not attractive. I tell her I have lost interest in the open marriage thing, my sex drive is not as high knowing I'm in a marriage and am not attracted to my wife. We talk about everything, and I am honest with her. Looking for suggestions on how to bring her confidence back. I'm sure if she gets back to where she was I will feel the way I want to, but I feel like she needs to get her confidence back from within. Open to suggestions. What do you guys do when your wife is less than she can be? Do something fun and unexpected, maybe take her out to do something she is good at.

Author:	vhou812 [ Tue Mar 10, 2015 7:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: She lost her confidence
That has been done. I posted this because the simple fixes have not worked. I have tried to inject fun into the relationship, and she will go along with it and we do have fun. The struggle is that she does not reciprocate, and when we discuss it she says she thinks she is sort of depressed and has no idea why. She has turned into someone who has no ambition, no drive. She had a lot of self esteem issues growing up. She is aware of these things, and demonstrates growth and maturity in her career and elsewhere, but when it comes to our marriage, she seems to have lost all her confidence. She does not run short on compliments from me, guys check her out all the time and she catches them, etc. She just seems to have fallen into a depressed state where I would describe her now as physically attractive, mentally/emotionally not so much. Wondering if anyone else had a significant other go through this and if so what they felt they did that helped. All the easy, obvious stuff seems to only have a temporary effect. It feels to me like she needs me and others to prop up her confidence instead of her loving herself and using feedback from others to reassure her when she questions herself.

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