PUA Forum :: Disappearing spark

you shoot yourself in the foot when you immediately start hanging with a girl every day like that, talking, spending time together, etc.

upon reconnection you should have limited your interaction to once a week, gotten her chasing you, been aloof, gamed other girls, and slowly developed a sexual relationship with her that blossomed into a romantic relationship.

you built too much comfort too fast instead of maintaining the attraction stage.

it is *so* incredibly difficult to bounce back from something like this because you've already shown your full card and how easy you are to catch and how friendly and nice you are. the single saving grace you have is that you were alpha about dictating an open relationship.

your only chance in hell is to cut all contact until she starts texting you. then you say you're busy hanging out with a friend and she's only in town for the night, but you can hang out at (specific time at specific place, no later than two days after). no more friendly chatter. everything should be loosely veiled sexual innuendo in texts. if she brings up the boob issue again say you were afraid you wouldn't be able to contain yourself in front of everybody and didn't know if she was into banging in public ; )

you want to come off as sexy and cocky but not creepy. that little wink face i just posted, that turns things from creepy to cocky. do stuff like that.

once she's chasing you, meet up, sexualize further, do all the shit they say in the other sections of this site. fuck her several times, never mention a relationship until she mentions it first.

again you're fighting an incredibly uphill battle at this point but continuing to contact her will kill all attraction. generally it's best to just let a girl go at this point as she's gotten bored or is hanging with another guy and trying to weed you out.

Author:	TomynhoSK [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 12:35 am ]
Post subject:	Disappearing spark
Hey guys, To make the long story short, I got back in touch with my old best friend, we instantly hit it off, I couldn't even count the number of IOIs I was getting just a few minutes after we started talking again. We've done "stuff", in fact, we do everything together and we're together almost every day, we always have a great time and talk a lot. This has been going on for 3 weeks. However, for the last few days, I feel like she's been slightly distant, we haven't met up (which is understandable, she's been partying and has been tired) for a few days and her text reponses have been short and distant, as well. She vaguely mentioned how I "was scared of her" - in a "joking" way; we partied together the other day (alcohol involved) and apparently, she grabbed my hand and put it over her boobs and she claims I pulled away - which I don't remember at all; after all, we've already done more than that, so it would make no sense. I fear it may be the issue. The main thing here is, our conversations normally have this "spark" going on, no matter what we talk about. There's a lot of callback humor, inside jokes and so on, but lately, it's been pretty boring, at least for me and I'd like to fix it. What do you think I should do? Just to make it clear; I'm seeing others, she knows about it, I explained how I don't like the concept of do's and don'ts in a relationship and her response was just "That's basically an open relationship. we could do that.", but we haven't really talked about it since then, though.

Author:	WillEdward [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 4:29 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Disappearing spark
It sounds like she has agreed to being in a relationship. Just keep gaming her as usual and close her if you haven't already.

Author:	TomynhoSK [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:54 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Disappearing spark
Quote: It sounds like she has agreed to being in a relationship. Just keep gaming her as usual and close her if you haven't already. I don't think "the usual" will work, as there's been a change or so I feel. It's like the "energy" has faded away, it may be temporary. And I've already closed her and we basically kiss-close every single time we're together.

Author:	TomynhoSK [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:32 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Disappearing spark
I feel like I'm losing her, she's been quite distant. I'm not sure how direct I can be at this point, I don't want to come across as creepy. Could anyone, please, help me?

Author:	chantos [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 8:36 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Disappearing spark
you shoot yourself in the foot when you immediately start hanging with a girl every day like that, talking, spending time together, etc. upon reconnection you should have limited your interaction to once a week, gotten her chasing you, been aloof, gamed other girls, and slowly developed a sexual relationship with her that blossomed into a romantic relationship. you built too much comfort too fast instead of maintaining the attraction stage. it is so incredibly difficult to bounce back from something like this because you've already shown your full card and how easy you are to catch and how friendly and nice you are. the single saving grace you have is that you were alpha about dictating an open relationship. your only chance in hell is to cut all contact until she starts texting you. then you say you're busy hanging out with a friend and she's only in town for the night, but you can hang out at (specific time at specific place, no later than two days after). no more friendly chatter. everything should be loosely veiled sexual innuendo in texts. if she brings up the boob issue again say you were afraid you wouldn't be able to contain yourself in front of everybody and didn't know if she was into banging in public ; ) you want to come off as sexy and cocky but not creepy. that little wink face i just posted, that turns things from creepy to cocky. do stuff like that. once she's chasing you, meet up, sexualize further, do all the shit they say in the other sections of this site. fuck her several times, never mention a relationship until she mentions it first. again you're fighting an incredibly uphill battle at this point but continuing to contact her will kill all attraction. generally it's best to just let a girl go at this point as she's gotten bored or is hanging with another guy and trying to weed you out.

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Author:	TomynhoSK [ Tue Feb 24, 2015 12:17 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Disappearing spark
Quote: you shoot yourself in the foot when you immediately start hanging with a girl every day like that, talking, spending time together, etc. upon reconnection you should have limited your interaction to once a week, gotten her chasing you, been aloof, gamed other girls, and slowly developed a sexual relationship with her that blossomed into a romantic relationship. you built too much comfort too fast instead of maintaining the attraction stage. it is so incredibly difficult to bounce back from something like this because you've already shown your full card and how easy you are to catch and how friendly and nice you are. the single saving grace you have is that you were alpha about dictating an open relationship. your only chance in hell is to cut all contact until she starts texting you. then you say you're busy hanging out with a friend and she's only in town for the night, but you can hang out at (specific time at specific place, no later than two days after). no more friendly chatter. everything should be loosely veiled sexual innuendo in texts. if she brings up the boob issue again say you were afraid you wouldn't be able to contain yourself in front of everybody and didn't know if she was into banging in public ; ) you want to come off as sexy and cocky but not creepy. that little wink face i just posted, that turns things from creepy to cocky. do stuff like that. once she's chasing you, meet up, sexualize further, do all the shit they say in the other sections of this site. fuck her several times, never mention a relationship until she mentions it first. again you're fighting an incredibly uphill battle at this point but continuing to contact her will kill all attraction. generally it's best to just let a girl go at this point as she's gotten bored or is hanging with another guy and trying to weed you out. Thanks for the post, it was my fault for overreacting and it seems like I may have misinterpreted some stuff in my post and also about the whole situation. We always slip in dirty comments into our conversation, so that's not an issue. Not to mention she knows I'm with other girls and I focus on myself - I made it clear that an open relationship is the only one I'm "open" to, because I have my own interests and I couldn't let my life revolve around one girl. I also mentioned I want to travel and so on, but we've been best friends off and on for 6 years basically, but there have been times when we didn't talk. I lost almost 50lbs, so did she and that's how the attraction started, not to mention I started getting sexual within a few minutes after getting back in touch, because she plainly told me she still liked me (we had a short fling before) and she was extremely receptive to my teasing/flirting. It seems all good now, only thing is she's leaving for a few months soon, but it's nothing related to me, she just travels a lot. So I'm thinking about some good "day 2" ideas, that's about it. Thanks a lot!

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