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How to break up with girlfriend of four years?
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Author:  CON659 [ Tue Dec 30, 2014 1:06 pm ]
Post subject:  How to break up with girlfriend of four years?
Don't know if this is relevant, or going to be relevant, but my girlfriend is a hb10. She has thousands of friends and 200 likes on her profile photos, a business degree (which I have too) etc etc.

I just can't handle her shit anymore and I still have strong feeling for her.

How do I break up without burning bridges completely? I have written for my own peace of mind the reasons and problems I have with her. Should I share this with her or not, as she is likely to have her own perspective?

We are currently long distance.

What triggered all this is that her family is very conservative and saw a sexual facebook message, that I had sent her, while they were online inspecting her Facebook for the first time, and I've been showing paranoia, so she could be punishing me for not trusting her (which I feel really shitty about and know that it's the last thing you want to do to be attractive). We have not spoken about this yet.

Since then, she has dressed up her Facebook page to say, "I'll do a Gangbang if you can handle me". She has a picture with a seductive expression, eye contact with the camera, half smile, lips together and pursed, black and white, apart from her lips which are red, full jewelry, hair curled and full make-up. All of her other pictures are of her smiling in a less promiscuous way, this is very clearly sending a different message.

Then she is going to a party her cousin is organizing, at an hotel, which she promoted by saying,

"The place where you have to be for the NEW YEAR Eve, bring your friends and come to party hard, You'll never know what's gonna happen after all!!!!"

This party is at rock concert, I've pasted the flyer for the concert bellow.

She is a very private person, with a lot of personal and health problems. I am the only one that knows about a lot of them, she doesn't like to share and this has brought us closer, but also made her more inclined towards secrecy.

We've been together for four years, please go easy on me, I'm not in a good place right now, however, your advice and ever advice is really welcomed. I intend to break up with her in about 7 hours, at 10pm our time.

I also want to say that I have made so many assumptions here. I could be blowing it all out of proportion and I don't know why she has done all this, I only know what has happened.


Thank you to everyone in this forum for helping people find the answers they need time and time again.




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Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue Dec 30, 2014 3:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to break up with girlfriend of four years?
... Calm down, kid.

;)

I get your issues with her. I probably wouldn't love waking up to see a message about gangbangs on her Facebook either... even if I knew it was a joke.

As for the new years thing - It's a promo for a new years party. Do you think if they plugged it as "a boring party full of girls who already have boyfriends" that they'd get a lot of interest?

My advice here is simple:

THIS IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND OF FOUR YEARS.

You are in a relationship with her (Long distance or not). This isn't pickup anymore. This is your girlfriend.

Communicate. Like adults. Talk, on the phone or in person, or messaging or anything, but talk about your issues if you're having issues.

She won't know you don't like the shit she's doing if you don't tell her you don't like the shit she's doing and why...

If that fails, THEN you consider other options... (That is if you love her and want to make it work - otherwise, yes, onto the next, of course...)
Author:  CON659 [ Tue Dec 30, 2014 3:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to break up with girlfriend of four years?
I love her but I've been feeling like shit for months. I really love her, she knows me better than anyone. So if I break up I will want her back. However, I feel like I have no control, and she feels like I'm trapping her, that she has no control. I've tried and tried and I still feel like shit. This seems like the only option. I think she wouldn't respect me if I didn't break up.

I've sent her loads of texts, as if she wasn't feeling pressurized already :///

BTW she didn't post anything about gangbangs, that was just my interpretation.

I want to know how to do this, because she is not contacting me. What I am thinking is to set myself (and her a deadline). I want to tell her,

"I am disappointed you haven't contacted me and I think it's probably best if we break up as it clearly isn't working out between us."

This will be after contacting her.

I'm thinking keep it simple. If she wants more answers she will ask for them. I have written out all my reasons so I am clear in my own mind.

That's plan 'b'. Plan 'a' will be to let her talk, be relaxed but expressive as to how and why I am hurt, and see what the resolution will be.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue Dec 30, 2014 3:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to break up with girlfriend of four years?
So you're breaking up with her on New Years Eve NOT because you want to break up with her but because you feel like you have no control over her?

Let me ask you something...

If SHE broke up with YOU on new years eve.... And you were scheduled to attend a party with a shit-ton of young, good looking girls that night.... What might you be likely to do?

You gaining 'control' here, temporarily, is going to do nothing but open her legs up for some drunk bastard on New Years...

How far apart is this LDR?
Author:  CON659 [ Tue Dec 30, 2014 4:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to break up with girlfriend of four years?
Quote:
So you're breaking up with her on New Years Eve NOT because you want to break up with her but because you feel like you have no control over her?

Let me ask you something...

If SHE broke up with YOU on new years eve.... And you were scheduled to attend a party with a shit-ton of young, good looking girls that night.... What might you be likely to do?

You gaining 'control' here, temporarily, is going to do nothing but open her legs up for some drunk bastard on New Years...

How far apart is this LDR?
She's in Tunisia. I hadn't considered that it would have that effect. What should I do, she isn't contacting me?
Author:  lowriderzzz [ Wed Dec 31, 2014 1:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to break up with girlfriend of four years?
Quote:
Quote:
So you're breaking up with her on New Years Eve NOT because you want to break up with her but because you feel like you have no control over her?

Let me ask you something...

If SHE broke up with YOU on new years eve.... And you were scheduled to attend a party with a shit-ton of young, good looking girls that night.... What might you be likely to do?

You gaining 'control' here, temporarily, is going to do nothing but open her legs up for some drunk bastard on New Years...

How far apart is this LDR?
She's in Tunisia. I hadn't considered that it would have that effect. What should I do, she isn't contacting me?
Idk if I'm right or not but here is what I would do. (and just this advice if you think it suits you).

But i wouldn't contact her neither. At least for a week or so. I'd give her the chance for her to contact me. That way I'll see if she really has something towards me. If she doesn't contact you - assume the worst - relationship is over and move on.

Obviously there are a lot of factors that are being played here and you are blinded by emotion. But one thing is sure - if you somehow lost control and she had sensed it in someway - she is now likely to take advantage of it.

The main point to understand IMO is that it is not your job to fix her health and personal problems. If she is not on the same mature level as you it is not your job to make her mature. The best way to help her mature is to really break up with her. And yea i know it sucks for the time you have been together. That is why I think best solution is to keep your game on level even if you are in RS. Stick tease and pick up chicks, just don't cheat your current girlfriend.

Let other members agree or correct me please, and Happy New Year all!
Author:  lowriderzzz [ Wed Dec 31, 2014 1:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to break up with girlfriend of four years?
Quote:
Quote:
So you're breaking up with her on New Years Eve NOT because you want to break up with her but because you feel like you have no control over her?

Let me ask you something...

If SHE broke up with YOU on new years eve.... And you were scheduled to attend a party with a shit-ton of young, good looking girls that night.... What might you be likely to do?

You gaining 'control' here, temporarily, is going to do nothing but open her legs up for some drunk bastard on New Years...

How far apart is this LDR?
She's in Tunisia. I hadn't considered that it would have that effect. What should I do, she isn't contacting me?
Idk if I'm right or not but here is what I would do. (and just take this advice if you think it suits you).

If I was you I wouldn't contact her neither. At least for a week or so. I'd give her the chance for her to contact me. That way I'll see if she really has something towards me. If she doesn't contact you - assume the worst - relationship is over and move on.

Obviously there are a lot of factors that are being played here and you are blinded by emotion. But one thing is sure - if you somehow lost control and she had sensed it in someway - she is now likely to take advantage of it.

The main point to understand is that it is not your job to fix her health and personal problems. If she is not on the same maturity level as you it is not your job to make her mature. The best way to help her mature is to really break up with her. And yea I know it feel bad for all that time you have been together. That is why I think best solution is to keep your game on level even if you are in RS. Still tease and pick up chicks, just don't kiss or have sex with them, i.e. don't cheat her.

Let other members agree or correct me please, and Happy New Year all!
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