Neo,

Thank you for this post. I have been dating my GF for a year now and the past month we haven't done as many "exciting/fun/super high value things". So naturally she will be more attracted to someone who is doing higher value things and is going to want that. Great points.

Question for you though:

I recently froze my girlfriend out at a time where she was not meeting my needs. We talk on the phone before bed every night. She called me... but was very distracted because she had a girlfriend over who is extremely needy for attention. I got annoyed because I am a man on my path and I hate when people waste my time. I could have spent that 10 mins being productive rather then listen to my Girlfriend rabble with her friend in the background.

So I froze her out.... yes this wasnt on a HIGH point I agree... however, I felt that my girlfriend needed to know that if she wants my attention... she needs to earn it... and that she needs to engage me on a higher level. Was my freeze-out OK in that situation? I ignored two text messages and then a phone call from her... and then called her back because she gave me the attention i expected in that situation.

I am not trying to control her... but sometimes she does not meet my needs. BTW I learned this from user WOLFWORD in his drama free thread.


drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-nex ... =wolfwoodd



Is there a better way to handle these situations?

Thanks Neo!

If anyone else would like to comment please do I appreciate the feedback!

Great Post Neo,

I agree communication is key. A bunch of the game tactics go out the window when you form a relationship because it's based on authenticity not games.

The communication prevents the snap outs. Usually there is some underlining reason for her behavior. Sometimes she just wants to test the limits. I let her know what the limits are up front.

2 types of boundaries. Flexible ones and bitch gets kicked to the curb ones. She "HAS" to know what these are. If she does not she will poke and prod to find out. If she knows there is a line that if crossed will make me end the relationship she will either never go near it, or cross it to see if I was legit. Unfortunately when she finds out I was real about it she no longer has the privilege of being in a relationship with me. It's a way I screen for the quality women.

Some people may think this is trying to "control" the girl, and for that very reason some of them cross the lines, but I'm the man. You relinquished the right to dictate terms in my reality at the beginning when you passively forced me to do all of the active stuff to form the relationship in the first place.

Of course the terms aren't unreasonable. Don't disrespect me, don't cheat, you can only go out with other guys if you are handling some sort of business.- (flexible because she isn't forbidden totally from going out with other guys, but only on like business lunches and stuff)

I follow Joshua Pellecir's model on relationships. I explained it to a few guys in the chat room and they said I got too scientific, and ruined the romance. I guess to each his own. The model involves a 4 point spectrum involving power, value, neediness, and compliance. Keeping the graph in mind you can see exactly where our relationship is.

excellent response. communication of boundaries early on is certainly crucial. however i would never recommend a man to, when upset at the actions of his woman, sit her down and say, "now honey, when you called me an asshole in front of my friends... that hurt my feelings. it made me feel embarrassed and humiliated..." (blah blah blah you get the point). so when i see the word "communicate," a red flag goes up.

your approach to setting parameters on what type of guys your girl can hang out with intrigues me. have you had success with communicating that? at what point in the relationship do you say she can only go out with other guys for business? surely doing it too soon is a no-no. i tend to err on the side of just saying she has to tell guys that she has a boyfriend and if she cheats whatsoever she's done. never explicitly stated she can't have regular male friends (though i always steer her toward hanging out with the genuine betas).