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HELP! Broken heart
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Author:  PurePlaya [ Mon Dec 15, 2014 4:34 am ]
Post subject:  HELP! Broken heart
I found out last night my girlfriend has been on tinder. She swears up and down that she's never cheated on me. I found that she's at least had a conversation with some other guy as recent a week ago. I know for a fact she's talked to a few others recently as well. She absolutely refused to let me look through her phone after I saw the tinder icon on her home screen. I told her last night she either gives me the phone right now or she'll never see me again. She refused. Today, she's been texting me all day saying she's never cheated and how much she cares about me. It looks really bad when she has the opportunity to prove her innocence, if she hasn't cheated, and show me on her phone her tinder profile but she refuses. I'm really broken up about this. I've said some really nasty things to her now calling her a cheating slut and told her how much I hate her. I need some help here guys. What should I do? :cry:
Author:  neo87 [ Mon Dec 15, 2014 5:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! Broken heart
Quote:
I told her last night she either gives me the phone right now or she'll never see me again. She refused.

Stick to your promise. Delete, block and move on.
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Mon Dec 15, 2014 6:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! Broken heart
I think you overreacted without solid proof she's actually been cheating. How long have you been together?

Lots of girls use Tinder just for male feedback on their looks. Girls are insecure; they need constant reassurance that they're still hot. Why do you think girls with boyfriends still post provocative selfies on Facebook? They are desperate for approval or "Likes".

A girl talking to other guys on Tinder and a guy called "PurePlaya" posting on a forum about picking up girls, there's not a lot in it. Yeah, she shouldn't be on Tinder, but you sure do have a short temper and a judgemental attitude for a player who should be on top of his shit. She's not a slut just because she enjoys male attention any more than you're insecure and controlling for demanding to go through her phone.

Your girl doesn't seem like girlfriend material? Start flirting with other girls. Demote her to fuck buddy. Don't ruin what could be a good bit of pussy on the side just because you are a raging jealous type.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Mon Dec 15, 2014 3:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! Broken heart
How long has she been your girlfriend?

Like, are we talking a week or two, and she still has Tinder from before you were exclusive? Or are we talking months - in which case I agree with you, and she either shouldn't be using it, or she should have told you she's using it but she never meets up with anyone (if you'd be cool with that).

I agree with neo - stick to your guns. You made a threat and gave her an ultimatum... If you go back on it now, she knows where that line is with you, and that she's free to cross it without consequence.

Also... she's now had ample opportunity to delete whatever incriminating chat threads/pics she's gotten on Tinder... so if she gave you her phone now, you'll be seeing a 'redacted' version.
Author:  younglady [ Mon Dec 15, 2014 6:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! Broken heart
Quote:
I've said some really nasty things to her now calling her a cheating slut and told her how much I hate her. I need some help here guys. What should I do? :cry:
With no actual evidence, you already went and called her a cheating slut? Are you sure this is your girlfriend and you love her? Because trust is an extremely important aspect of love. If you suspect the girl just because she installed Tinder and she spoke to a guy, your relationship is doomed anyway.
Author:  neo87 [ Mon Dec 15, 2014 6:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! Broken heart
Quote:
Quote:
I've said some really nasty things to her now calling her a cheating slut and told her how much I hate her. I need some help here guys. What should I do? :cry:
With no actual evidence, you already went and called her a cheating slut? Are you sure this is your girlfriend and you love her? Because trust is an extremely important aspect of love. If you suspect the girl just because she installed Tinder and she spoke to a guy, your relationship is doomed anyway.

Let's be real though, she could've just spoken to one guy and lightly flirted, or she could have been fucking dudes on tinder. When she refused to show the messages, SHE took away the benefit of the doubt on the situation. If your girl is on a dating/hookup app that's what doomed the relationships. Actions > words and she had a chance to show OP what was up. Now that she didn't he has to assume the worst. Op, don't get caught up with what you said, because she will use that to change what this is really about. She was on a dating/hookup app while in a relationship with you. Whether you were together for a week or a day or years doesn't really matter. If it were just pictures or for feedback, she'd show you.
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Mon Dec 15, 2014 6:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! Broken heart
Agreed she may be cheating, but based on how controlling the OP sounds, she may have been doing it because she felt so trapped by his jealousy.

Demote her to fuck buddy, unless you can't handle the idea of her fucking other dudes, in which case, dump her and control another girl instead.
Author:  reel2real [ Tue Dec 23, 2014 4:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! Broken heart
Quote:
Quote:
I've said some really nasty things to her now calling her a cheating slut and told her how much I hate her. I need some help here guys. What should I do? :cry:
With no actual evidence, you already went and called her a cheating slut? Are you sure this is your girlfriend and you love her? Because trust is an extremely important aspect of love. If you suspect the girl just because she installed Tinder and she spoke to a guy, your relationship is doomed anyway.
Let's see what she did that was wrong:

- She installed a dating/hook-up app on her phone.
- She messaged another guy behind his back.
- She's hiding something because she won't let him see what's up.

Do you honestly expect a guy worth his salt to still trust his girlfriend and that she may or may not have cheated on him? She probably lied somewhere down the line more than once on something

OP might be a little insecure/jealous/controlling but there's a reason for that. You just don't do shit randomly for no reason, there has to be a reason why OP is getting on this way. Sure, it's not ideal and very unhealthy, but GF acting shady trumps OP's insecurity 100% of the time in terms of severity for being in the wrong
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Tue Dec 23, 2014 5:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! Broken heart
How long have you been together and
How often do you have sex?

Both important questions to give us context.
Author:  In$tinct [ Tue Dec 23, 2014 2:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! Broken heart
I agree with Hunter_Foxe on this one. OP lost his shit without any real evidence, this could have been talked about calmly. Probably by making her understand that it bothers you she uses tinder, instead of calling her a cheating whore. Women have pride you know, if you're acting so demanding, there is no fucking way she'll show you her phone.

She doesn't show him her phone but that doesn't necessarily mean she has something to hide, maybe she's just fucking fed up with OP's overly controlling behaviour and don't want to put up with this shit. Honestly, I have nothing to hide, but if my girlfriend started a tantrum about wanting to look at my phone, I'd tell her to gtfo. Of course that doesn't happen though because my girlfriend trusts me. There are these things in a working relationship called, trust and privacy.

Also, so far we know nothing about this relationship except for this. We don't know how much they argue, we don't know how much they're having sex, how many incidents like this happened, are there any other suspicious sings etc. etc. Absolutely insufficient information to judge this.

Finally, admitting you were wrong is part of being a man. Stubborn is good, but after a point it just becomes stupid. I still think that calmly talking it over without all the drama fit is the best solution, but perhaps you could give us some information about this relationship other than your girlfriend being on tinder so we might have a clue for what's the reason for this.

Peace,

In$tinct
Author:  younglady [ Mon Jan 05, 2015 9:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! Broken heart
Quote:
OP might be a little insecure/jealous/controlling but there's a reason for that. You just don't do shit randomly for no reason, there has to be a reason why OP is getting on this way. Sure, it's not ideal and very unhealthy, but GF acting shady trumps OP's insecurity 100% of the time in terms of severity for being in the wrong
Ok you suspect the girl has done something, so it's ok to go full retard and call her a cheating slut before even investigating properly. I hope OP with his "insecurity/jealousy/controlling" enjoys losing the girl too.
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