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Calling her out
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Author:  luvmiddleage [ Wed Nov 26, 2014 12:38 am ]
Post subject:  Calling her out

Girlfriend did something I didn't approve of. Don't want to get into the very complicated details of the relarionship. Basically I gave her an ultimatum that I wouldn't tolerate the shit she did, no matter how unintentied via text. I then saw her in person and told her flat out I love her, I want her in my life, but I don't need her and will not cling. I will be perfectly happy on my own, that I have women looking at me all day long and don't need her shit. She actully agreed she did wrong, told me she accepted my terms and than a little while later, she said she was at a loss to say anything, it was strange and I made her feel like a kid. I was just straightforward and honest, I don't need shit from her and I am fully prepared to walk away. I am curious whether it was real bad that I made her feel like a kid. I have to thank this community for being strong enough to no longer tolerate games and bs and more importantly to see and understand them for what they are, long before your average guy would.

Author:  neo87 [ Wed Nov 26, 2014 12:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Calling her out

Well you communicated the right things but I don't think spelling it out literally was the right move.

Author:  luvmiddleage [ Wed Nov 26, 2014 12:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Calling her out

Quote:
Well you communicated the right things but I don't think spelling it out literally was the right move.
you

Well I hope I didn't fuck it up then, but if I did, I will move on and take it as a lesson.

Author:  neo87 [ Wed Nov 26, 2014 12:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Calling her out

Just so you know, if she cheated or tried to cheat or anything to do with cheating, if you get back with her, ultimatum or not, she has no respect for you now. Just an fyi

Author:  luvmiddleage [ Wed Nov 26, 2014 1:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Calling her out

Quote:
Just so you know, if she cheated or tried to cheat or anything to do with cheating, if you get back with her, ultimatum or not, she has no respect for you now. Just an fyi

I don't think cheated. If she cheated and I find out, I am gone.

Author:  luvmiddleage [ Wed Nov 26, 2014 1:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Calling her out

Quote:
Quote:
Just so you know, if she cheated or tried to cheat or anything to do with cheating, if you get back with her, ultimatum or not, she has no respect for you now. Just an fyi

I don't think cheated. If she cheated and I find out, I am gone.
And what do you mean by "anything to do with cheating"?

Author:  neo87 [ Wed Nov 26, 2014 1:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Calling her out

Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Just so you know, if she cheated or tried to cheat or anything to do with cheating, if you get back with her, ultimatum or not, she has no respect for you now. Just an fyi

I don't think cheated. If she cheated and I find out, I am gone.
And what do you mean by "anything to do with cheating"?

Meaning if she was talking to a guy, slept with a guy, flirted with a guy, tried to fuck a guy, fucked a guy, kissed a guy, basically anything that would imply she cheated or could be cheating, and you took her back, the respect is gone after that. Just say what happened. The details are the real interesting pieces tbh

Author:  luvmiddleage [ Wed Nov 26, 2014 2:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Calling her out

She was out very late hanging out with her friends at a neighborhood place, and fucking mentioned a guy... she and her friends became friends with a bunch of guys. She even texted me when she was there at 3. I was feeling great after laying it out for her till I read all this. Maybe I should just walk away. Maybe tell her on second thought it was just too much for me and I can't get past it.

This sucks, we have been together a year and a half. The most intense emotional connection I ever felt.

Author:  neo87 [ Wed Nov 26, 2014 3:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Calling her out

Oh, so what you disapproved of was her hanging out with some guys. Why? Do you think she did something? Was there some rule about not hanging out with guys?

Don't stress yourself out so much for my last advice. It's more that if she was obviously about to cheat and you take her back you lost her respect there. But yours is confusing because I don't know if she was drunk with a guy...mentioned liking a guy or in some way disrespected your relationship. I guess if I had to clarify, if you take back a girl who cheats on you in some way (could be emotionally), you lose her respect and standing for boundaries. I don't know how your situation fits into that.

Maybe more details may help. Wont want you to see more into something unless there is cause

Author:  luvmiddleage [ Wed Nov 26, 2014 3:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Calling her out

Quote:
Oh, so what you disapproved of was her hanging out with some guys. Why? Do you think she did something? Was there some rule about not hanging out with guys?

Don't stress yourself out so much for my last advice. It's more that if she was obviously about to cheat and you take her back you lost her respect there. But yours is confusing because I don't know if she was drunk with a guy...mentioned liking a guy or in some way disrespected your relationship. I guess if I had to clarify, if you take back a girl who cheats on you in some way (could be emotionally), you lose her respect and standing for boundaries. I don't know how your situation fits into that.

Maybe more details may help. Wont want you to see more into something unless there is cause
I think I need to just go with the flow and see for a few weeks, kind of keep things on probation. I made it clear where I draw the line and why. I kind of feel like I should give her the benefit of the doubt, but a short leash.

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