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Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird
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Author:  guyfromearth [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 6:02 am ]
Post subject:  Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

I've known this girl for 3 years. We are best friends
Then i got a gf. She starts being jealous and more flirty. She texts me a few times saying she wants to tell me something but can't. She tells me she thinks she loves me once when shes drink and to get single.
I break up with my gf and i don't want to be around her so ignore her for a few weeks. She starts getting even more flirty.
We tell each other we love each other over text, in a friendly way, say we are going to get married in a few years etc. But it wasnt really sexual.

So the other night we go out, get wasted and end up kissing. We come back to mine and have what i thought was amazing sex, altho i was so drunk i don't remember much.
I have slept with a lot of her friends, so she has high expectations from me sexually as they have told her good things. I was pretty good but was so hammered i wasn't really on point i wouldn't say.

She leaves for home, texts me a pic of her boobs and says i love you, how good the night was, all that stuff. But we are both still drunk at this stage.
Now its got a bit weird. I've text her but she seems as though she's annoyed.
I just tweeted something about someone i met and she immediately text me "introduce me to your hot friend"
She doesn't even go on twitter so i suspect was looking at my timeline or something. I don't know. I wish we could honestly talk about what we both feel but its so confusing now.
I have now developed feelings for her as more than a friend and maybe havin a relationship with my best friend would be great.
But i dont want to tell her i have feelings incase she doesnt and then doesnt want to have sex again. I am fine with just fucking or going back to friends. Just not sure how to approach it from this point.

Author:  CharlesFinley [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 2:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

Quote:
I've known this girl for 3 years. We are best friends
Then i got a gf. She starts being jealous and more flirty. She texts me a few times saying she wants to tell me something but can't. She tells me she thinks she loves me once when shes drink and to get single.
I break up with my gf and i don't want to be around her so ignore her for a few weeks. She starts getting even more flirty.
We tell each other we love each other over text, in a friendly way, say we are going to get married in a few years etc. But it wasnt really sexual.

So the other night we go out, get wasted and end up kissing. We come back to mine and have what i thought was amazing sex, altho i was so drunk i don't remember much.
I have slept with a lot of her friends, so she has high expectations from me sexually as they have told her good things. I was pretty good but was so hammered i wasn't really on point i wouldn't say.

She leaves for home, texts me a pic of her boobs and says i love you, how good the night was, all that stuff. But we are both still drunk at this stage.
Now its got a bit weird. I've text her but she seems as though she's annoyed.
I just tweeted something about someone i met and she immediately text me "introduce me to your hot friend"
She doesn't even go on twitter so i suspect was looking at my timeline or something. I don't know. I wish we could honestly talk about what we both feel but its so confusing now.
I have now developed feelings for her as more than a friend and maybe havin a relationship with my best friend would be great.
But i dont want to tell her i have feelings incase she doesnt and then doesnt want to have sex again. I am fine with just fucking or going back to friends. Just not sure how to approach it from this point.

She's got you now and she wants to keep you, so she's pulling a jealousy play. If she's not a challenge she thinks you may get bored but she already spilled the beans that she was into you.

Just fucking go with it... "Introduce me to your hot friend" -- That, sir, was a shit test.

Do not tell her you have feelings for her -- seriously.

Show her instead.

Author:  guyfromearth [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 3:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

Thanks for that. That makes a lot of sense. I dont know why i didnt pick up on that shit test. I didnt really fall for it, i just text back, hey stop creeping my twitter.
Regarding showing her, how do i do that? I was going to just take her out properly and discuss the situation like friends and see where we go from there

Author:  CharlesFinley [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 4:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

Quote:
Thanks for that. That makes a lot of sense. I dont know why i didnt pick up on that shit test. I didnt really fall for it, i just text back, hey stop creeping my twitter.
Regarding showing her, how do i do that? I was going to just take her out properly and discuss the situation like friends and see where we go from there

No, sir. Don't do that.

As soon as you actually verbalize that you're into her that makes shit real.

I know that the logical thing to do is to actually discuss it, but that's a death sentence at this stage of the game. A lot of girls will just friend-zone your ass really quickly as soon as you say those words.

Just go with it. Have fun. Go on dates, sleep with her, make her FEEL like your girlfriend (if that's what you want).

Soon enough, she'll ask you to be exclusive.

How do you show her? Treat her like your girlfriend. *FRIENDS* don't fuck each other...

Author:  guyfromearth [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 8:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

Quote:
Quote:
Thanks for that. That makes a lot of sense. I dont know why i didnt pick up on that shit test. I didnt really fall for it, i just text back, hey stop creeping my twitter.
Regarding showing her, how do i do that? I was going to just take her out properly and discuss the situation like friends and see where we go from there

No, sir. Don't do that.

As soon as you actually verbalize that you're into her that makes shit real.

I know that the logical thing to do is to actually discuss it, but that's a death sentence at this stage of the game. A lot of girls will just friend-zone your ass really quickly as soon as you say those words.

Just go with it. Have fun. Go on dates, sleep with her, make her FEEL like your girlfriend (if that's what you want).

Soon enough, she'll ask you to be exclusive.

How do you show her? Treat her like your girlfriend. *FRIENDS* don't fuck each other...
That's good advice. I looked back through my texts and she seems to have been trying to tell me she is properly in love with me for a few months. Drawing it out at this stage and her not knowing should deepen the connection and make her fall deeper.
She doesnt actually follow me on twitter so when she text me about that guy she must have been just trying to see what i was thinking by checking my timeline.
Regarding contact. It does feel a bit strange. I was going to wait a few days and jus go back to normal contact and arrange to go out etc. Push pull.
Cheers

Author:  CharlesFinley [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 8:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

Just ask her to get a drink, or come over for dinner. Escalate, fuck her again...

You're good after that.

Author:  guyfromearth [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 10:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

Quote:
Just ask her to get a drink, or come over for dinner. Escalate, fuck her again...

You're good after that.
Last question. Being as she's replying in one word answers now, i was going to leave it a few days before i get her to hang out again. Is that the best thing to do or shall i jus go for it tonight.
I just don't want her to shut down if shes feeling weird about it

Author:  guyfromearth [ Fri Nov 21, 2014 12:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

So i text her saying lets grab some food an she jus text something weird back an hour later about her phone dying.
Its so strange. She was always desparate to hang out before. Even when we were only friends she was never weird with me. It's like shes pissed off about something and i can't work out what it is.
She has been asking for weeks about doing stuff new years, xmas. The night we went out obs she was all over me and the photos of us kissing look like she is completely in love.
She text me the usual nice things when she got home along with a pic of her boobs. But then since she obviously sobered up its been like talking to a wall.
3 months she has been hinting that she loves me but cant tell me, all the time when i was with my gf. When we broke up she text me saying "date me" and i shrugged it off.

Im gonna walk away from this point n jus give it some space n go after other girls. I just cant work it out though. You think its buyers remorse?

Author:  _Lothario_ [ Fri Nov 21, 2014 1:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

If you're really this close to her then nut up and call her. Tell her "I want to talk with you to get it all out in the open. Things have been different since we hooked up. What's your deal?" BAM.

Simple. It might not be easy to get out but just nut up and do it. You'll feel so much more relieved than if you dick around like a chump playing games. No need to waste your time or hers.

Author:  guyfromearth [ Fri Nov 21, 2014 4:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

Quote:
If you're really this close to her then nut up and call her. Tell her "I want to talk with you to get it all out in the open. Things have been different since we hooked up. What's your deal?" BAM.

Simple. It might not be easy to get out but just nut up and do it. You'll feel so much more relieved than if you dick around like a chump playing games. No need to waste your time or hers.
That's what i'd like to do honestly, but like your man says, that can be the kiss of death in this situation.
And with her being my best friend its all sorts of complicated now. I was hoping we would just fuck and go back to normal. The two things it can only be really are
1) She has high expectations for what will go on betweenus now and maybe somehow realizes that was unrealistic and now she's being retaliatory and wanting to hurt my feelings or something.
2) She did it and it wasnt what she wanted. But you wouldnt think she would turn defensive tho right?

Author:  oceanx [ Fri Nov 21, 2014 12:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

I would just lay low at this point and continue with your plan to meet more women. Let her initiate and get over her shit on her own if she's going to. Then, have her over and have sex again if she's down. Women have a sixth sense for these things and the moment you're chilling with other girls she may initiate contact again with you, if not sooner.

Author:  guyfromearth [ Fri Nov 21, 2014 3:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

Quote:
I would just lay low at this point and continue with your plan to meet more women. Let her initiate and get over her shit on her own if she's going to. Then, have her over and have sex again if she's down. Women have a sixth sense for these things and the moment you're chilling with other girls she may initiate contact again with you, if not sooner.
Thanks man. Yea that's what i was gonna do. Didn't reply to her text about her phone being dead. Gonna leave it now.
I know it's pretty ambiguous but from a guy with experience can u guess why she's gone into lockdown?

Author:  oceanx [ Fri Nov 21, 2014 3:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

Something (who knows what) probably changed with regard to her emotions after the sex. Might as well let the waves of her emotions swing back to you on their own time which they likely might.

Author:  guyfromearth [ Fri Nov 21, 2014 3:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

Quote:
Something (who knows what) probably changed with regard to her emotions after the sex. Might as well let the waves of her emotions swing back to you on their own time which they likely might.
Makes sense. It's probably not a good thing to get into then if that's going to happen every time.

Author:  oceanx [ Fri Nov 21, 2014 3:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Slept with best friend. 4 years and now its weird

Quote:
Makes sense. It's probably not a good thing to get into then if that's going to happen every time.
As you know women are unpredictable and their moods & emotions are ever-changing and fluid. So if you two have sex again, she may have a completely different response afterwards next time.

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