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Girlfriend a little cold? Need some opinions please!
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Author:  dukehoopz30 [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 1:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Girlfriend a little cold? Need some opinions please!
Guys,

Been dating my GF who is a HB9 for about 10 months now. Everything is solid except for some of our communication. We live about 1 hour from each other and due to work restrictions are really only able to see each other on weekends.

Anyways, I have just been getting a sort of "im too busy vibe" from her as of late via text. She will still send me good morning texts but they are less flirty and less thought out. I also sent her a funny pic yesterday and she lied to me about looking at... bc when i asked her what it was of and she said "oh i didnt get it yet".

She is consumed with work (literally will work 10 hours most days plus 2 hours of commuting) but im just curious if she is losing interest or things have become too much of the same?

anyone else feel that this is just a natural progression in a relationship of 10 months since we now know each other so well?

All comments welcome.

Thanks again!
Duke
Author:  dukehoopz30 [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 2:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend a little cold? Need some opinions please!
Also, Am i just being a little bitch and actually caring about what she is doing?
Author:  maria_ [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 2:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend a little cold? Need some opinions please!
I don't see a problematic attitude from her side. You are being a bit needy and insecure.
If she is working 10 hours as you say and 2 hours to commute this means that she spends 12 hours outside home. She must be exhausted and very tired in the mornings. Can you imagine yourself having to work that much? I've done it once in my life and all I wanted to do when I was returning home was to eat something quick, set up my alarm clock and watch telly because I knew I was going to fall asleep after 10 minutes.
I am surprised she is texting you in the morning. I usually when I wake up, I want my coffee, my newspaper and space to put my thoughts into order so I know what I am doing at work. I organise my day. She is very thoughtful sending you a little something.
So stop feeling insecure. She is not being disrespectful or neglectful. She just has lots of things to do.
Do you work? It sounds to me that you have too much time on your hands to over analyse things.
Author:  dukehoopz30 [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 3:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend a little cold? Need some opinions please!
Quote:
I don't see a problematic attitude from her side. You are being a bit needy and insecure.
If she is working 10 hours as you say and 2 hours to commute this means that she spends 12 hours outside home. She must be exhausted and very tired in the mornings. Can you imagine yourself having to work that much? I've done it once in my life and all I wanted to do when I was returning home was to eat something quick, set up my alarm clock and watch telly because I knew I was going to fall asleep after 10 minutes.
I am surprised she is texting you in the morning. I usually when I wake up, I want my coffee, my newspaper and space to put my thoughts into order so I know what I am doing at work. I organise my day. She is very thoughtful sending you a little something.
So stop feeling insecure. She is not being disrespectful or neglectful. She just has lots of things to do.
Do you work? It sounds to me that you have too much time on your hands to over analyse things.
Thank you for the post!

I do work a full 8 hour day and also am constantly working on my own business (which is consuming in itself). So to say that I have a lot of freetime is not the case. But i do MAKE time for those who are important to me.... thats where i feel a little neglected. I feel she puts in a minimum when it comes to making time for me.

Now, I totally understand she is exhausted after work and it is consuming, but as her boyfriend I honestly dont ask for much. A simple response from a text message is not needy... especially when we send maybe 4-5 to each other every day.

I have high expectations and that is also not needy, its just the truth. Confronting this issue with her directly would be controlling and wouldnt accomplish anything.

Any other thoughts? Thanks again for your input. i really appreciate it.
Author:  maria_ [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 3:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend a little cold? Need some opinions please!
alter the texting routine ;)
Author:  Kristclassy [ Thu Oct 09, 2014 10:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend a little cold? Need some opinions please!
dukehoopz30!

I'm glad I saw this post dude! I'm encountering a very similar issue: girlfriend is being a little cold but she has a lot on her plate with study and work, I suppose. I'm also a little worried because I feel like maybe she's losing interest.

We're in the same boat because we're overanalyzing. Things have to develop in a relationship! It becomes implicit; she now trusts that you're going to be there for her at the end of the day unlike earlier in the relationship when she had to prove herself to you and you had to prove yourself to her. When you begin to ride a bicycle, you need to have the training wheels on. When you become more accustomed to riding it, the training wheels come off because you don't need them anymore, but that doesn't change the fact that the bicycle is still yours and it can still be ridden! Personally, I think that these signs mark growth in your relationship...

Yet if you still feel like her reactions are slightly unwarranted (which you shouldn't!) maybe try and let go a little and let her come to you... let her initiate the conversations. It should make her value you more because she can see that you have other things going on in your life too.

Hope it helps Brother.
Author:  neo87 [ Thu Oct 09, 2014 11:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend a little cold? Need some opinions please!
Kristclassy and OP, first stop and assess whether your needs are being met. Are you happy with the current situation. I dislike these posts that go like "My gf isn't talking to me or doing X, is SHE losing interest?" You should always think about your happiness first. If your girl is doing or not something that makes you feel a negative way, screw whether she is losing interest as a priority in your mind. Guys like to write "my gf is not having sex with me but she is interested so screw my feelings and I'll hold on for dear life." Stop that. Your happiness should be your focus, not her interest. If living an hr apart and seeing each other on the weekends is enough for you, fine...support her. But if it's not then either discuss it with her or look for someone whose work life isn't so hectic.

Now, once you're happy with the situation...think about your girl.You gotta know her. When you hang out is everything great? Then no problem. You're happy, she's happy. If she's not making you a priority then leave. And no, not to be controlling...if she's busy but hanging out with friends and making time for other stuff besides you then leave.
Author:  JackZero [ Thu Oct 09, 2014 11:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend a little cold? Need some opinions please!
Quote:
Kristclassy and OP, first stop and assess whether your needs are being met. Are you happy with the current situation. I dislike these posts that go like "My gf isn't talking to me or doing X, is SHE losing interest?" You should always think about your happiness first. If your girl is doing or not something that makes you feel a negative way, screw whether she is losing interest as a priority in your mind. Guys like to write "my gf is not having sex with me but she is interested so screw my feelings and I'll hold on for dear life." Stop that. Your happiness should be your focus, not her interest. If living an hr apart and seeing each other on the weekends is enough for you, fine...support her. But if it's not then either discuss it with her or look for someone whose work life isn't so hectic.

Now, once you're happy with the situation...think about your girl.You gotta know her. When you hang out is everything great? Then no problem. You're happy, she's happy. If she's not making you a priority then leave. And no, not to be controlling...if she's busy but hanging out with friends and making time for other stuff besides you then leave.
This brought a tear to my eye.
Author:  Kristclassy [ Fri Oct 10, 2014 12:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend a little cold? Need some opinions please!
Quote:
Kristclassy and OP, first stop and assess whether your needs are being met. Are you happy with the current situation. I dislike these posts that go like "My gf isn't talking to me or doing X, is SHE losing interest?" You should always think about your happiness first. If your girl is doing or not something that makes you feel a negative way, screw whether she is losing interest as a priority in your mind. Guys like to write "my gf is not having sex with me but she is interested so screw my feelings and I'll hold on for dear life." Stop that. Your happiness should be your focus, not her interest. If living an hr apart and seeing each other on the weekends is enough for you, fine...support her. But if it's not then either discuss it with her or look for someone whose work life isn't so hectic.

Now, once you're happy with the situation...think about your girl.You gotta know her. When you hang out is everything great? Then no problem. You're happy, she's happy. If she's not making you a priority then leave. And no, not to be controlling...if she's busy but hanging out with friends and making time for other stuff besides you then leave.
neo87, The way you put it makes a lot more sense.
Author:  dukehoopz30 [ Thu Oct 16, 2014 1:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend a little cold? Need some opinions please!
Just wanted to say thank you for everyone who posted. All great information and I will assess my current relationship at this time.

Thanks All.

Duke
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