PUA Forum :: Communication problems

What will you achieve if you confront her? Do you think confronting can take the feelings away?
I never heard of that happening.If after 7 months you started having those conversations then it is obvious that she has lost interest in you.
The complains she is making to you are the things that she finds attractive on the other guy.
The other guy obviously asks her more about her day. So she compared the two of you and she found you not that close to her.
I don't know how you are going to do it but you need to think what attracted her to you on the first place and remind her with your attitude.
The other guy is new and she still hasn't got any complains about him. You have the advantage that you have developed familiarity and you know her better. So you must know what makes her click.
I think that you need to read PUA material on what to do if someone else is gaming your girl.

Quote:

Thanks, this is some advice that I can put to use. However, it still burns inside me that she might have feelings for some other dude. My automatic reaction is to dump her, but what if im wrong?

Update:

She told me now I was taking too less initiative with asking her questions. But I dont have a fucking clue what she needs me to ask. Sometimes I ask her things but apparantly thats not enough.. Any advice what deep shit to ask her?

I understand. Look, some girls want a different style of communication that you can't fake. I've dated girls who like to talk and talk and have deep conversations about everything. They want you to question and delve deeper into their emotions and problems. I like a little depth but I get tired when every conversation about your day becomes a hr long question game. If I'm with a girl and she has a bad day I'd want to talk about it for a few minutes and move on to positive stuff. I've met girls who prefer to talk about every detail and probe them with questions and that wasn't me so I left. Does your gf have bunch of close female friends and is babied?

Quote:

In your initial post you stated that the sex life was dull. I hear you talking about all the things that you are doing or trying to do to improve your relationship. I don't hear you talking about what she's done. Are you the only one putting in any work?

Author:	Chef89 [ Mon Sep 22, 2014 10:50 am ]
Post subject:	Communication problems
Hello Last month my GF and I started to develop some issues with each other. Basically, she started complaining that I don´t ask her enough when she tells me about her life. On the other hand, I think our life is becoming dull and we dont have sex as much as we used to have. We talked about the communication problems and I told her I was willing to listen to her better and ask her more questions. However, I dont have the idea that it solved anything. We mostly text each other and the still remains distant and cold. Despite the fact that I do show more interest in the things that bother her. Also, maybe I acted a bit AFC over the last month. After all the talking, It is starting to annoy me that she is still acting distant, and Im even thinking of breaking up. What would you guys do? Any chance to fix it so that our relationship becomes awesome again?

Author:	do8 [ Mon Sep 22, 2014 11:57 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Communication problems
subscribed. Probably your situation is not as rocky as mine, but I have the same issues + many many others How long is the relationship?

Author:	Chef89 [ Mon Sep 22, 2014 12:23 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Communication problems
We have about 7 months now. Usually the time things start to get boring.

Author:	CharlesFinley [ Mon Sep 22, 2014 12:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Communication problems
I sorta think she's assessing you for long-term potential. Dating for a few months is one thing... but if at 7 months she's not feeling the same level of commitment from you that she feels for you, she could be going a little immature and just calling you out on it. Told her you loved her? Maybe that's it... Maybe she thinks she's 'flagging' it for you as an improvement area. If you're checked out, and the sex is dull, and you don't love her, wave g'bye and find another...

Author:	Chef89 [ Mon Sep 22, 2014 1:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Communication problems
Yeah sounds like a good advice.. Also, I think she has feelings for some dude at her work. Should I confront her about it?

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Author:	maria_ [ Mon Sep 22, 2014 2:31 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Communication problems
What will you achieve if you confront her? Do you think confronting can take the feelings away? I never heard of that happening.If after 7 months you started having those conversations then it is obvious that she has lost interest in you. The complains she is making to you are the things that she finds attractive on the other guy. The other guy obviously asks her more about her day. So she compared the two of you and she found you not that close to her. I don't know how you are going to do it but you need to think what attracted her to you on the first place and remind her with your attitude. The other guy is new and she still hasn't got any complains about him. You have the advantage that you have developed familiarity and you know her better. So you must know what makes her click. I think that you need to read PUA material on what to do if someone else is gaming your girl.

Author:	Chef89 [ Mon Sep 22, 2014 3:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Communication problems
Quote: What will you achieve if you confront her? Do you think confronting can take the feelings away? I never heard of that happening.If after 7 months you started having those conversations then it is obvious that she has lost interest in you. The complains she is making to you are the things that she finds attractive on the other guy. The other guy obviously asks her more about her day. So she compared the two of you and she found you not that close to her. I don't know how you are going to do it but you need to think what attracted her to you on the first place and remind her with your attitude. The other guy is new and she still hasn't got any complains about him. You have the advantage that you have developed familiarity and you know her better. So you must know what makes her click. I think that you need to read PUA material on what to do if someone else is gaming your girl. Thanks, this is some advice that I can put to use. However, it still burns inside me that she might have feelings for some other dude. My automatic reaction is to dump her, but what if im wrong?

Author:	Hunter_Foxe [ Mon Sep 22, 2014 4:17 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Communication problems
Every woman you sleep with has had another guy's dick in her face and in her pussy and she loved it. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will be able to let go of feelings of jealousy. Jealousy = Scarcity = Needy behaviour. Stop analysing WHAT a woman says and start thinking about WHY she said it. When a girl is bored of you or ready to dump you, she doesnt say what she is really thinking. She will think of a stupid reason to get annoyed with you, then blow it up into a huge argument and then use your bad reaction to this as a reason to dump you. Its very clever actually. This is to protect her image after the breakup. Its easier for her to look good in the eyes of her friends (and other men) if she can paint you as the "uncaring guy who never listened to my emotional needs" than to tell the truth, which is "i just got bored and he doesnt make me wet anymore. I need new dick inside me ASAP!!!". Never change yourself for a woman if youve done nothing wrong. Women make decisions with their emotions ( their clitoris' ), not mathematical logic. The mistake you made was you seduced your girl only at the start and turned her on. Then you became a couple and you stopped seducing her. Never stop seducing your woman. Heavy eye contact, lots of touching. Get good at foreplay, get good at fingering and cunilingus. If you stop doing these things, she wont enjoy sex and eventually she will get bored of you. I still have an ex girlfriend from 4 years ago who lives in another country with her new dude, but still fucks me every time she comes back to the UK. She wouldnt do this if the sex with her new guy was good enough. Remember its not the end of the world if it doesnt work out. A breakup is a new beginning. Too many guys on here are afraid of Ground Zero, but from a pickup point of view its the best place to be. It creates the hunger which makes shit happen.

Author:	maria_ [ Mon Sep 22, 2014 5:06 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Communication problems
Quote: Quote: What will you achieve if you confront her? Do you think confronting can take the feelings away? I never heard of that happening.If after 7 months you started having those conversations then it is obvious that she has lost interest in you. The complains she is making to you are the things that she finds attractive on the other guy. The other guy obviously asks her more about her day. So she compared the two of you and she found you not that close to her. I don't know how you are going to do it but you need to think what attracted her to you on the first place and remind her with your attitude. The other guy is new and she still hasn't got any complains about him. You have the advantage that you have developed familiarity and you know her better. So you must know what makes her click. I think that you need to read PUA material on what to do if someone else is gaming your girl. Thanks, this is some advice that I can put to use. However, it still burns inside me that she might have feelings for some other dude. My automatic reaction is to dump her, but what if im wrong? In any relationship, there will be other guys trying to steal your girl. Most of the times they will fail. Some will be stronger players and they might achieve to pull the interest of your girl. Some other times they might be even greater players that they will steal your girl. That's part of life. At the moment she is not in love with the other guy. She is excited of the attention that she is getting and he has given her an ego boost. It is up to you to think what she is getting from that guy and not you and see how you can bring her closer. Take her reaction as a feedback.

Author:	Chef89 [ Fri Sep 26, 2014 6:12 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Communication problems
Update: She told me now I was taking too less initiative with asking her questions. But I dont have a fucking clue what she needs me to ask. Sometimes I ask her things but apparantly thats not enough.. Any advice what deep shit to ask her?

Author:	JackZero [ Fri Sep 26, 2014 6:24 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Communication problems
Quote: Update: She told me now I was taking too less initiative with asking her questions. But I dont have a fucking clue what she needs me to ask. Sometimes I ask her things but apparantly thats not enough.. Any advice what deep shit to ask her? In your initial post you stated that the sex life was dull. I hear you talking about all the things that you are doing or trying to do to improve your relationship. I don't hear you talking about what she's done. Are you the only one putting in any work?

Author:	neo87 [ Fri Sep 26, 2014 7:08 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Communication problems
I understand. Look, some girls want a different style of communication that you can't fake. I've dated girls who like to talk and talk and have deep conversations about everything. They want you to question and delve deeper into their emotions and problems. I like a little depth but I get tired when every conversation about your day becomes a hr long question game. If I'm with a girl and she has a bad day I'd want to talk about it for a few minutes and move on to positive stuff. I've met girls who prefer to talk about every detail and probe them with questions and that wasn't me so I left. Does your gf have bunch of close female friends and is babied?

Author:	Chef89 [ Fri Sep 26, 2014 10:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Communication problems
Quote: I understand. Look, some girls want a different style of communication that you can't fake. I've dated girls who like to talk and talk and have deep conversations about everything. They want you to question and delve deeper into their emotions and problems. I like a little depth but I get tired when every conversation about your day becomes a hr long question game. If I'm with a girl and she has a bad day I'd want to talk about it for a few minutes and move on to positive stuff. I've met girls who prefer to talk about every detail and probe them with questions and that wasn't me so I left. Does your gf have bunch of close female friends and is babied? Well she actually told me that she didnt only want to talk about how her day was etc.. This is never my intention, but what else would she want to talk about? Do I have to ask her about her job, or lifegoals or something? Basically weve talked about that in the past so thats really clear to me and from my point of view does not need further explanation. What I really dont get is WHERE to talk about with her in a way that shows genuine interest in HER.

Author:	Chef89 [ Fri Sep 26, 2014 10:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Communication problems
Quote: Quote: Update: She told me now I was taking too less initiative with asking her questions. But I dont have a fucking clue what she needs me to ask. Sometimes I ask her things but apparantly thats not enough.. Any advice what deep shit to ask her? In your initial post you stated that the sex life was dull. I hear you talking about all the things that you are doing or trying to do to improve your relationship. I don't hear you talking about what she's done. Are you the only one putting in any work? Shes also reading about men to better understand me. However, shes is pointing at me as the cause of the problem. Sometimes I just point at the fact that communication in a relationship is not one way but Im not sure if that message gets through.

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Author:	Hunter_Foxe [ Sat Sep 27, 2014 2:44 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Communication problems
Stop being a bitch. Stop reacting to her. Be a man. Next time she complains, say "i dont have time for your shitty attitude. If you dont like it, you dont have to see me anymore." Then she says ok and you walk out the door. Stop clinging to girls who dont respect you. They are ten a penny and easily replaceable.