PUA Forum :: No more affection

Move in after seven months? Sigh what were you thinking? If you've ever watched Judge Judy reruns you'd know better. You guys might really end up in court arguing over who gets the HDTV. IDK what to say

Oh wait, do this: start gathering all written contracts, receipts, proof of purchases, bank statements, cheques etc for the apartment itself and any items you cherish inside of it. You might end up needing documentation. That agreement you two have about who pays for what? It must be a written agreement, if it's not, get her to sign one. This relationship, like many other "cohabitations" is probably not going to work and one of you might end up wanting to move out.

And don't do this again. Moving in is for after marriage.

Well, my only advice would be to actually take her out drinking and partying like yall probably used to do, get her back in the "im with a fun guy" mode and then see if you can fuck her brains out. If she's not even up for that, I'd just ditch her. It's not your job to deal with her shit. Tell her your tired of it, and your basically turned into room mates with no romance and you want out.

It was going good untell she started feeling pain. We tried a few times but those times got farther and farther apart.

No she really does not treat me shitty; she wants what is best for me. Even though I don’t like what she says sometimes she is just looking out for me. That is what is making it so hard to figure out. Relationship has two parts. Caring and thoughtfulness, but on the other side the sex and attraction. She is doing very well on the caring and treating me well and thoughtfulness. What is lacking though is the intimacy.

That is what I thought to that her issue with her pussy is causing her to pull away. I still thinks it is that to. I don’t know though she is very discreet about it. She always has been that way since we met, she gets uncomfortable about the sexual talk.

So every time I bring it up, she says she is fine that she is not depressed over the subject. I try to dig a bit but she really does not like to talk about it.

She is going to get things checked out today and find out what is exactly going on. It took her forever to make the appointment though. She kept putting it off and putting it off, almost like she was afraid to find out. When I ask her though she says no I am not afraid, I just have not had the time…

(If I was her I would be scared and afraid to find out what is wrong)

That is why I am really not confronting her about it, or at least trying not to get mad with her over the subject. If it really is the issue I should be caring and thoughtful as she would most likely be with me in this situation. I do snap on occasion, and she understands I am a man with needs.

I have expressed other ways of sexual pleasure but they are a no go. Blow jobs she does not like to give and hand jobs not really her thing. Witch is no surprise even before this happened they were a no go. Plus again with the whole sexual awkwardness she has.

Quote:

The answer is simple, cheat.

Really? what if she finds out though?

Author:	kealtoast [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 9:56 pm ]
Post subject:	No more affection
Sorry for the long post in advance: So I have been with this girl for a little over a year. When we first meet we kept it low key just two people having fun. We hung out more and more then she started calling me her boyfriend. So I clarified we were in a relationship yata yata. About seven months into our relationship we decided to move in together. She had already basically been living with me for the past two months and I liked it, was going well. We got an apartment and have been living together. After about a month she started to get distant sex less and less wanting me around. Now the sex is like a no go, but there is a little issue preventing that she is working on getting fixed. I will say I did start to get a bit insecure, because if I lost her what would I do I have a lease with her. Now I have been working on it more and more. She does not always help putting herself in situations where there is a chance she could be unfaithful. I do not try to be clingy don’t text her while we are at work. Just talk to her at home and even when she is home I’ll do my own thing. She is still not showing any affection and stops me anytime I try to show her mine. Should I stop even more of my contact with her or is there another underlining issue I am missing? I have tried to figure it out even thought about a break but any mention of a break up. She does not want to; she does not want to lose me and says she still wants to be with me. Witch I feel her actions show opposite. It’s like either you want me or you don’t. Why can’t we go back to just having fun with each other.

Author:	breedlove465 [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 10:01 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: No more affection
Answer honestly. No judgement, we've all been there. When this chick moved in with you, did she start paying any of the bills? Is she covering any rent? Electricity etc.? Did you start paying for all groceries? Did you take on any of her other bills like cell phone bill or paying for her hair or nails to get done? Does she have a credit card that belongs to you? Go into detail. If some of these are true, this is likely a different scenario than if non of them are true.

Author:	kealtoast [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 10:36 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: No more affection
No we split everything I am not paying for her stuff and she is not paying for mine as far as utilities go we split it right down the center. On occasion I cover or she covers but that just happens Tell the next person gets Paid. Most of the time it is her but she pays back with in a few days. Honest answer

Author:	younglady [ Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:11 am ]
Post subject:	Re: No more affection
Move in after seven months? Sigh what were you thinking? If you've ever watched Judge Judy reruns you'd know better. You guys might really end up in court arguing over who gets the HDTV. IDK what to say Oh wait, do this: start gathering all written contracts, receipts, proof of purchases, bank statements, cheques etc for the apartment itself and any items you cherish inside of it. You might end up needing documentation. That agreement you two have about who pays for what? It must be a written agreement, if it's not, get her to sign one. This relationship, like many other "cohabitations" is probably not going to work and one of you might end up wanting to move out. And don't do this again. Moving in is for after marriage.

Author:	kealtoast [ Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:56 am ]
Post subject:	Re: No more affection
Quote: Move in after seven months? Sigh what were you thinking? If you've ever watched Judge Judy reruns you'd know better. You guys might really end up in court arguing over who gets the HDTV. IDK what to say Oh wait, do this: start gathering all written contracts, receipts, proof of purchases, bank statements, cheques etc for the apartment itself and any items you cherish inside of it. You might end up needing documentation. That agreement you two have about who pays for what? It must be a written agreement, if it's not, get her to sign one. This relationship, like many other "cohabitations" is probably not going to work and one of you might end up wanting to move out. And don't do this again. Moving in is for after marriage. Ya I understand that was not a good choose. That is one of the biggest problems, I think it's not like I can go to my own place and let her chill. We see each other 24/7. We are like a married couple with out the papers. Witch has pushed a lot of stress on thinking about that subject instead letting it bloom naturally.

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Author:	breedlove465 [ Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:02 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: No more affection
Well, my only advice would be to actually take her out drinking and partying like yall probably used to do, get her back in the "im with a fun guy" mode and then see if you can fuck her brains out. If she's not even up for that, I'd just ditch her. It's not your job to deal with her shit. Tell her your tired of it, and your basically turned into room mates with no romance and you want out.

Author:	kealtoast [ Thu Sep 11, 2014 4:47 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: No more affection
Quote: Well, my only advice would be to actually take her out drinking and partying like yall probably used to do, get her back in the "im with a fun guy" mode and then see if you can fuck her brains out. If she's not even up for that, I'd just ditch her. It's not your job to deal with her shit. Tell her your tired of it, and your basically turned into room mates with no romance and you want out. Like I said earlier I can not fuck her brains out... There is a medical issue witch causes her great pain to have something up inside her. We are still going out and having fun. She has fun and it last for maybe a day then she goes back to is he the one. I dont wanna lead him on if he is not the one. I like him but how do I know.... My fear is if we break things off the apartment is going to be filled with drama. Since neither one of us truely could move on. I think it is time I start looking for a other apartment, that way the ball is in my court giving her the sign that she could lose me. If that triggers to start showing affection again then its time to move on. I was thinking of not telling her and just start looking to look. Maybe leave some stuff hinting that I am looking so she gets what is going on. Wait for her to confront me about it. Once she confronts me just explain that we moved in to early we need our own places. I dont know how she will take it. She might agree and she might want to try and work it out. At least I give the message that this is not ok and things need to start changing otherwise I am gone. Its is like she has me in her court she can sit there and switch her feeling back and forth and know that I will still be there for her becasue well I live with her.

Author:	neo87 [ Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:16 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: No more affection
How old are you 2? How often do you go out with her and where? Are you in school or do you 2 work? What's the unfaithful things about? What do you guys do when home?

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:37 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: No more affection
Well if it's not a complete bullshit issue with her pussy. It could cause self-esteem issues spiraling into depression enhancing her lack of closeness. Does she treat you shitty in any other manner?

Author:	CHADOS [ Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:50 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: No more affection
either step back and act normal but dont give her any attention or just talk to her about it. walking around feeling unhappy for a longer time if nothing changes isnt good. im having the same problem and maybe shes taking you for granted. im dealing with it now and what ive realized is that this happens often in a relationship. a long time ago this was me and not her. and the thing is that when youre the one taking the other for granted. you get less attracted and you feel that youre the king. then they get tired of you and they bring it up or starts to act distant. then the other person comes crawling after you. and it just goes on and on. maybe its good that it happens. as long as it doesnt last to long, cause you start realizing how much you care for that person.

Author:	sxstrp [ Thu Sep 11, 2014 6:11 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: No more affection
I might have missed it, but did the relationship issues start with her illness? As Heywood Jablowme mentioned, seems it might be the illness is bringing self-esteem issues with itself. How else is your relationship currently different to when you started dating? Did you guys go out less or more often together? Did you settle down in the relationship and start feeling secure, without the need to chase as much?

Author:	kealtoast [ Thu Sep 11, 2014 8:09 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: No more affection
It was going good untell she started feeling pain. We tried a few times but those times got farther and farther apart. No she really does not treat me shitty; she wants what is best for me. Even though I don’t like what she says sometimes she is just looking out for me. That is what is making it so hard to figure out. Relationship has two parts. Caring and thoughtfulness, but on the other side the sex and attraction. She is doing very well on the caring and treating me well and thoughtfulness. What is lacking though is the intimacy. That is what I thought to that her issue with her pussy is causing her to pull away. I still thinks it is that to. I don’t know though she is very discreet about it. She always has been that way since we met, she gets uncomfortable about the sexual talk. So every time I bring it up, she says she is fine that she is not depressed over the subject. I try to dig a bit but she really does not like to talk about it. She is going to get things checked out today and find out what is exactly going on. It took her forever to make the appointment though. She kept putting it off and putting it off, almost like she was afraid to find out. When I ask her though she says no I am not afraid, I just have not had the time… (If I was her I would be scared and afraid to find out what is wrong) That is why I am really not confronting her about it, or at least trying not to get mad with her over the subject. If it really is the issue I should be caring and thoughtful as she would most likely be with me in this situation. I do snap on occasion, and she understands I am a man with needs. I have expressed other ways of sexual pleasure but they are a no go. Blow jobs she does not like to give and hand jobs not really her thing. Witch is no surprise even before this happened they were a no go. Plus again with the whole sexual awkwardness she has.

Author:	kealtoast [ Thu Sep 11, 2014 8:23 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: No more affection
Quote: Quote: It was going good untell she started feeling pain. We tried a few times but those times got farther and farther apart. No she really does not treat me shitty; she wants what is best for me. Even though I don’t like what she says sometimes she is just looking out for me. That is what is making it so hard to figure out. Relationship has two parts. Caring and thoughtfulness, but on the other side the sex and attraction. She is doing very well on the caring and treating me well and thoughtfulness. What is lacking though is the intimacy. That is what I thought to that her issue with her pussy is causing her to pull away. I still thinks it is that to. I don’t know though she is very discreet about it. She always has been that way since we met, she gets uncomfortable about the sexual talk. So every time I bring it up, she says she is fine that she is not depressed over the subject. I try to dig a bit but she really does not like to talk about it. She is going to get things checked out today and find out what is exactly going on. It took her forever to make the appointment though. She kept putting it off and putting it off, almost like she was afraid to find out. When I ask her though she says no I am not afraid, I just have not had the time… (If I was her I would be scared and afraid to find out what is wrong) That is why I am really not confronting her about it, or at least trying not to get mad with her over the subject. If it really is the issue I should be caring and thoughtful as she would most likely be with me in this situation. I do snap on occasion, and she understands I am a man with needs. I have expressed other ways of sexual pleasure but they are a no go. Blow jobs she does not like to give and hand jobs not really her thing. Witch is no surprise even before this happened they were a no go. Plus again with the whole sexual awkwardness she has. The answer is simple, cheat. Really? what if she finds out though?

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