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| so im being taken for granted https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=183593 |
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| Author: | CHADOS [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 8:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | so im being taken for granted |
i know she loves me but shes not giving me attention anymore. i know the reason to it but im not gonna go in to that. lets just say i havent been myself because i got insecure for the first time in my life. im doing a lot of texting. and my first idea was to take a step back. but i dont know what to text her to not seem like im ignoring her. give me some ideas. and what do i say when she types "ok:)", cool:)" etc. things that doesnt lead to a question basically. |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 1:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: so im being taken for granted |
Not very detailed. But it sounds like your getting clingy out of "fear of loss". Not good. Not attractive. Yes, actually calling and texting someone every 3 minutes does make you clingy. Just back off, no need to explain why, just do it! |
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| Author: | CHADOS [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 1:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: so im being taken for granted |
yeah kinda what happened. and before it was different. she was the clingy one. i feel that i have to go back to where i was before. after all thats why we got together. |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 1:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: so im being taken for granted |
BINGO! |
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| Author: | CHADOS [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 2:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: so im being taken for granted |
so limit contact. be nice and normal when replying. is there anything more? i feel that i could just jump back to normal but at the same time maybe its better to do it slowly? |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 3:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: so im being taken for granted |
I'll assume you are currently in a relationship with her? You need to insure a life of your own and not depend on her for emotional stability, once you can validate your own life you won’t need her constant validation. Women want a strong man who is confident and independent. Are you still pursuing hobbies and interests? Or is most of your recent free time being invested in pleasing her? |
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| Author: | CHADOS [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 4:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: so im being taken for granted |
i do have hobbies and im aware of that. but the thing is. i did a mistake by letting my guard down. shes studying in another city now. and were not living together. the problem is that she is very busy this first month for several reasons. and no matter how redicilious it might sound but that bothers me. because she doesnt take time for me as she did before when it comes to just picking up the phone and talk etc. i can feel that she is taking me for granted. knowing that ill be there for her. i have talked to her about it and definitely made myself look like i need her. i feel incredibly stupid and i cant believe that i did this to myself. i think that my best option is to step back and make her see how life is when im not there as much. because i think she forgot about that. now the worst part is that even though shes been slow to reply i think shes doing it on purpose now when i dont talk as much. i dont want to overdo it either. |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: so im being taken for granted |
The more you text her, call her, invite her out, without any reciprocal investment on her part, the worse you feel. The more times it happens, the more you send her a very clear message: it’s okay to treat me like shit. |
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| Author: | CHADOS [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: so im being taken for granted |
agree. but this is really hard for me now. in a way i want to tell her that i cant be with someone that spends more of her time with her new friends then me. i mean sure have fun, go out etc. but dont make our days being about texting each other ten times then go to bed. |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: so im being taken for granted |
Why the fuck do you feel you need to explain yourself? Because the risk is losing her? Just do it. If you’re always the one to text her first, let her take initiative to text you first. If she doesn't respond to a text, don’t let her get away with it. It may mean doing something like that back to her next time she texts you. It may even mean never speaking to her again. Letting a woman treat you like garbage comes across as needy. The less you let women do it, the better you’ll feel. The better you feel, the stronger your confidence will be. You know Bro, it’s entirely possible you might lose her, but if she’s acting badly, chances are you've probably already lost her anyway. Sucks I know. But they build new ones every day! |
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| Author: | CHADOS [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: so im being taken for granted |
yeah i dont mean explain myself. i mean to tell her what i think about what shes doing. and if she doesnt respect that its her loss. its been going on for over a month now. and no shes texting me first. but she's putting others above me and it makes me so tired having to deal with. i mean sure maybe its better to let her do what she wants for a while and pull back. but at some point it almost feels worth taking the risk and telling her. |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 6:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: so im being taken for granted |
Quote: it almost feels worth taking the risk and telling her.
It's the risk of coming off as Captain Needy Man!When you get that feeling = It's a cry for self validation. I think that a lot of it comes down to perception and self validation..Let me explain.... If you start off from the mental place that you are an amazing guy, and that you don’t need a partner (or anyone else for that matter) to validate you, then you are on the right track. The woman you become attracted to becomes important for you, but not necessarily 'everything'. You don’t depend on her to make you feel important, or like a man, or even loved, because those things are already part of you. Therefore as a man you would still be capable of rational thought, and capable too of knowing that your relationship MAY come to an end, but you know that wouldn't be the end of the world, because you are a slick enough person to find someone else worthy of your affection. Your feeling separation anxiety, it happens. But just because that every second that she isn't in your sight is no reason to assume that she has had six dicks in her already. Showing neediness only makes women like you less. So if a girl starts losing interest in you, behaving needy is not the solution. |
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| Author: | CHADOS [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 7:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: so im being taken for granted |
yeah i get what youre saying. im not worried that shes cheating but that im not good enough yes. |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 7:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: so im being taken for granted |
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. She will and likely is smelling that vibe on you. Quote: im not good enough yes.
This is a bullshit mindset, change it NOW.She doesn't need a pussy, she already has one. Regain your confidence level buck-o. Use your times of separation to do whatever the fuck YOU want. -Get back in shape. -Jack a car. -Fuck a waitress (I know there is one you thought of when I said that!) What ever it is CHADOS used to do before he was so preoccupied with this particular vagina. |
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| Author: | CHADOS [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 8:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: so im being taken for granted |
haha i know and i agree. thats why it bothers me so much. problem is that i've never had to deal with it before. everything has been fine until now. and even though i know the problem, i still want to hear it from someone else. |
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