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She's on vacation and I'm leaving for a while
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Author:  vink [ Thu Aug 21, 2014 5:54 pm ]
Post subject:  She's on vacation and I'm leaving for a while
Hey guys,

Her and I: I've been dating her for about a month and it's been awesome, it's not very long but I think we hit it off pretty well - so that's cool

What's going on: So pretty much my girlfriend left to a town for about a month to party, cause right now that place is pretty crazy SPAM. She's always very affectionate with me and everything, but she has slightly changed her behavior since she's gone there. She used to text me and start convos, while now she doesn't and I'm always the one who has to text her first, which I hate cause I look like a puppy behind her - she's not as affectionate, she doesn't reply to my goodnights or goodmornings anything as shed used to. I'm going to be leaving in about two days for 4 months, because I'm studying in college right now and I can't go back to where she lives. Well, the thing is that a week ago, she came to town to a festival in our hometown - she was with her friends and I was with my friends - after a while I texted her to go see her and she just ignored me (knowing that that day would be our last to see each other before I left), after a while I called her and she answered but she said she was away and that she didn't want to go walk too much. After a while I spot her, pretty much in front of me sitting with some dudes hitting on her (I really don't care, because I know she's pretty loyal and I trust her), I go up to her and we make eye-contact, but she like instead of smiling or saying hi takes her eyes away from me(making me feel terrible - I mean she's shy but I don't think she should be acting like that) well I walk up to her and say hi and she like says hi but avoiding somehow - does not even kiss me - so, in that moment I start getting kinda mad at her for bullshitting me like that. Later, we split and then see each other and our friend groups meet and stay together, that's when she acts very affectionate and holds me dear and everything, she was a little bit drunk. Well, here's that part that's important, before leaving she tells me, "hey, I will be back the 20th, it was going to be a surprise but I'm a lil drunk and I feel like telling you, don't forget and don't make any plans for that day... hey just act like I didn't tell you ok?" (I know it's true because her best friend told me that it was her plan like few days before) I mean that kind of made me happy, I didn't think she would come all the way from the other town just to see me and have a better goodbye ( cause this day SUCKED ).

Well, yesterday the 20th, for the whole week I acted as I didn't know anything, and well it was already 4:30 pm and I'm kinda getting anxious, because she hasn't texted me or hasn't told me shit about anything. So, I text her, "Hey, do you remember what you told me before I left on thursday." She's like, "no not really, what did I say?" I told her and she answered like, "Fuck, shit... yeah I was going to go to your house to give you a big surprise - but my plan failed and since I didn't remember telling you anything well idk." So, I get pretty mad but control myself and I just asked her about if she was coming or not, because I didn't make a single plan that day... and she answered, " No sorry, my dad was going to take me but he couldn't", so, I told her that I was kinda mad at her because, I didn't make any plans and was waiting like an idiot... then she replied with a, " Well, sorry, I didn't know I told you that, you know that when I'm little bit drunk I say a lot of stuff but then I don't remember" I later told her that I was really disappointed because I could of gone where she was to have an appropriate goodbye but then I couldn't anymore. And she ended replying with a, "well yeah..."

Well, after that I didn't answer and still haven't - I was pretty mad at her and she hasn't contacted me either, I do feel terrible because I really like her, she's a pretty good deal but she just acts like she doesn't care for the looks of her texts. I'm leaving this saturday and I do not know what to do, I want to crazy see her but I can't and I don't want to text her because I just hate being the one doing it all the time now, when she before at least took the effort to do it and had interest.

Thanks guys, hope you guys can help!
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She's on vacation and I'm leaving for a while
1) Have you two had sex?

2) Are you exclusively BF/GF?

3) I hope the answer to #2 is NO.... Cause you do not need to be brilliant to realize that your priority ranking has dropped significantly... And -- to me -- this smells like there's another guy in the picture.

Now - If you're going to reply that you KNOW 100% certainly absolutely for sure that there's not another guy in the picture... How can you know that? She's grown distant, and she fucked off for a month to party. Who goes away to party for a month, anyway? That's code for "going away to fuck for a month"...

What should you do? I would seriously back-burner her. You're going away for 4 months? How do you expect to maintain a relationship with this girl?

I would suggest that you need other girls to throw your attention at. It'll help take your mind off this one, and any resulting jealousy (if it generates any) can only help you with this girl.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She's on vacation and I'm leaving for a while
Quote:
So pretty much my girlfriend left to a town for about a month to party, cause right now that place is pretty crazy SPAM.
= Freely be a slut.

She treats you like a lap dog, and you eat that shit up. Next her.

Don't allow people to disrespect or ignore you. Stand up for yourself.

You're not being nice considerate boyfriend by letting that bullshit slide. You're being cowardly. If your date doesn't show up, and doesn't even bother to call beforehand or afterwards to properly explain (The drunk excuse is the oldest one in the book Bro.) You're not being nice by overlooking a lack of consideration. You're being a doormat.
Quote:
I'm leaving this saturday and I do not know what to do
GFTOW ASAP!
Author:  vink [ Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She's on vacation and I'm leaving for a while
Yeah we have had sex, if not I wouldn't be like this...

Also, she has told me before that she loves me and that she hasn't done anything with anyone and she will wait for me - and she expects that same from me (maybe empty words?).

Also, I mean she left for 3 weeks(sorry) I mean, it's Spain and it's pretty rowdy here people go party a lot.
Quote:
Don't allow people to disrespect or ignore you. Stand up for yourself.

You're not being nice considerate boyfriend by letting that bullshit it slide. You're being cowardly. If your date doesn't show up, and doesn't even bother to call beforehand or afterwards to properly explain (The drunk excuse is the oldest one in the book Bro.) You're not being nice by overlooking a lack of consideration. You're being a doormat.
Thanks, you're right
Quote:
What should you do? I would seriously back-burner her. You're going away for 4 months? How do you expect to maintain a relationship with this girl?

I would suggest that you need other girls to throw your attention at. It'll help take your mind off this one, and any resulting jealousy (if it generates any) can only help you with this girl.
I'll do what you tell me.

So, I mean shouldn't I even text her before I leave? Just leave it as it is? It's pretty sad...
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She's on vacation and I'm leaving for a while
Dude...

How does she even deserve a text from you? You should be blatantly ignoring her at this point.

Tough pill to swallow here - but you aren't #1, #2 or even #3 on her list of priorities right now. Where do you think that'll lead you in terms of a relationship?

Realize what's happening. Heywood and I both just told you: She's fucking around.
Author:  vink [ Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She's on vacation and I'm leaving for a while
Quote:
Dude...

How does she even deserve a text from you? You should be blatantly ignoring her at this point.

Tough pill to swallow here - but you aren't #1, #2 or even #3 on her list of priorities right now. Where do you think that'll lead you in terms of a relationship?

Realize what's happening. Heywood and I both just told you: She's fucking around.
I guess you are right... It really is something very hard to swallow... thanks though
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