Hey guys, I´m 24 and I have my first real girlfriend for almost a month now, the first two weeks were incredible and she couldn´t get enough of me, but now things starting to change..
Girlfriend:
8, but very unnoticeable at first glance
age 23
very opened, but a little shy
seemed to be very much into me the first 2 weeks
doesn´t like puplic display of affection (which is a problem for me)
past relationships were priority in life (therefore hasn´t too many friends) wants to change that
wanted to be single for the next year or so
didn´t want to jump into next relationship immediately, like she always did before.
ex bf (broke up 2 weeks before we met) still is in the picture, she thinks she has to suffer, before she can move on
Situation:
met at a party, went on first date a week later (which she said was the best evening she had “in the town we study”)
she said she noticed me before we actually met
she spent many nights at my place we make out and cuddle in a very loving way, no sex so far
met all of my good friends, also some family
seems to be fine with whatever date I suggest
her ex bf called last week and she didn´t want to see me for two days
told me again, that we basically skipped the first part and we are together but she does´t want to rush things
we made out after this on two separate occasions
we almost see each other every day, kiss hi and kiss goodbye, even in public
we have plans for the whole weekend and I think for her everything seems fine
Problem:
I was totally confused by her saying she wants to take things slow, because it´s not congruent with the way we act around each other. (e.g. we doesn´t sleep at night, just making out, she tells me how much she enjoys spending time with me, how good I am for her and how much she likes me)
she went on short vacation, afterwards everything was different, we still see each other al lot but we haven´t made out the whole week which drives me totally insane, doubts come up, basically I´m waiting for her to end things..
but I think the problem is mostly my inner game, I´m afraid that I´m not able to keep that laid back, "I´m ok with what you´re giving me”
I need a quick kiss, holding hands, a little caressing, to know that she is mine and I´m doing good the way I act around her, basically a reminder that she is into me, like it was for the first two weeks, otherwise I´m going quite and insecure, it basically shuts me down
My Efforts::
I gave up all the PU lines and routines, but kept all my insights and understanding
I´m trying to keep my afc hidden inside, basically I´m holding back a little with what crazy drama stuff I´m saying
wanna keep it cool the first time
but we already had very deep talking about sensitive topics
I helped her move to another apartment
what I want:
I´m in love with her, and want her to be mine
I´m not shure if I can share with her, that I´m confused about our current situation
I want her to maintain her view of me being a confident secure guy (have no idea how she came to that xD)
I´m worried that if I share my doubts, she´ll realise what an AFC I am and end things
I´d like to have sex with her soon, but it does´t matter as long as we “sleep in the same bed and make out a lot
”question:
should I ask her if her feelings towards me changed?
should I share some of my insecurities with her?
basically: should I just go on like that without complaining or should I address the things above?
thank you so very much!