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| How to deal with life when shit hits the fan https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=182082 |
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| Author: | Anon191919 [ Tue Jul 29, 2014 2:29 am ] |
| Post subject: | How to deal with life when shit hits the fan |
I'd like to begin this post with a brief history of my experience in heartbreak. 18 Years old at the time, began dating a gorgeous southern girl, lived in a beautiful white house and her daddy was a farmer.... gorgeous amazing girl. We started hooking up in college and she began to want a relationship from me... at first I thought it was a bad idea but I began to fall in love with her and decided that it was worth doing because I was head over heels. Mind you that I'm not the type to jump into relationships.... But this was something special. She became my best friend, my girlfriend, and ultimately one of my main sources of enjoyment, fun, and emotion. We were together for about a year and a half, until... shit hit the fan. This post serves to help others who are in this situation, have been in this situation, or will be in this situation at some point. Long story short, we broke up briefly, I still really cared... thought we were going to get back together. One night shortly after the breakup we were together and started hooking up. When I slid my finger inside of her I could tell she was loose.... She fucked another guy..... Life 1 - my heart... -100000 Long story short once more... I had a mental breakdown. Not at that moment, but the days and weeks that followed were a psychological warzone ripping apart my mentality. I actually had an anxiety attack where my heartbeat became irregular, very dizzy, and very fucking scary.... It took me at least 5 months to regain my composure fully as a human being... and I would like to share with everyone how it played out to maybe help even just one person. Stage 1: shock and awe -couldn't believe it... still apathetic at this point. hasn't sunk in. stage 2: pain/mental suffering. -realized what had happened. Played the scene of her getting fucked in my head constantly. This stage went on for months. What helped me was meditation.... sitting there silently... sometimes with relaxing music, breathing in and out feeling and understanding that the present moment is okay. It is okay without her. It is okay exactly how it is. It is okay if it is raining, if im bleeding, if im dying, if im living. Breathing and realizing that life at this exact moment is okay, and it is passing, and I am healing. Stage 3: Regret.. -what if I had never done this which would never have caused that ect... Did nothing for me. Nothing will or would have changed. Besides push me to then next step... Stage 4: Acceptance... no summary necessary Life is going to kick your ass.... and when it does, understand that is something that happens to everyone at some point, not always in the same way, but being knocked on your ass is a natural stage of life. Suffering is normal. The only way to get over mental pain is to create new memories. I began having sex with a lot of women after my heartbreak, and it is frustrating when it doesn't have the "yes" factor to it. Where you are not satisfied, by your sexual advancements. Shallow sex cannot fill the void, it won't hurt imo... but it is not the answer. You must find JOY in things.. and forget gratification. Gratification will not mend a broken heart but JOY. Being with your loved ones, petting dogs, seeing sunsets, beers with your friends, finding a new girl to take on a DATE. These are the things that pushed me into stage 4.. acceptance. Realizing things are okay as they are, everything happens for a reason (even if you don't like it) and you will once again be happy. All the girls that I hooked up with and all the highs I got off the bong were not in any way useful... It left me feeling unhuman and alone. Summary: Nature, meditation, friends and family, petting animals, music. These are very helpful things in pulling yourself out of a slump. |
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