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Made a big mess on facebook chat with gf of 2 years
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Author:  hipster102 [ Wed Jul 23, 2014 4:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Made a big mess on facebook chat with gf of 2 years

Hi guys,

Me and my girlfriend have been having some problems. I haven't seen her in a week and she got pissed off with some messages I've been posting on facebook recently - I called another girl 'baby'. I felt I dealt with that quite well but she was cursing and being disrespectful. She posted up a message a few weeks back saying, indirectly (she used a nickname to show it was directed at me) that I haven't been making enough time for her. I ignored it at the time. However, I think it's the other way round and she has been having a very busy lifestyle recently.

I don't curse at people, not my style but I wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine and draw her attention to the fact that we are having problems, in the hope that she would say that we need to talk. Probably not very well thought out. Here is the Facebook chat conversation;

09:22
Hipster102 (Me)
Talk tonight??

10:02
Hipster102 (Me)
??

10:03
Girlfriend
good morning


10:04
Hipster102 (Me)
SPAM tonight??


10:04
Girlfriend
i stil don t know


10:06
Hipster102 (Me)
what's happening? What are you working on now anyway?


10:07
Girlfriend
i don t know if i m going out or not


10:07
Hipster102 (Me)
I've been asking you for a week now to talk. It's hypocracy


10:10
Girlfriend
what plz hipster102 i don t need that now


10:17
Hipster102 (Me)
and you think I need it? I'm working your going out. It's been a fucking week#


10:59
Girlfriend
Hipster102 i can understand i didn t see y best friend since a month
[[This really pissed me off because she’s saying she understands but doesn't give a fuck and is more concerned about her best friend i.e. cheeky as hell]]


11:09
Hipster102 (Me)
are you saying that makes you understand where I'm fucking coming from?


11:11
Girlfriend
i won t talk to you untill you show me some respect


11:13
Hipster102 (Me)
your the one at fault. That's the way you talk to me you call that respect?


11:15
Girlfriend
OK i wont start my day with your negative waves if you re frustrated i m not the good person to talk too i don t need your pressure so you stop or i wont talk to you


11:36
Hipster102 (Me)
I am not frustrated, I'm angry with your behaviour. So your saying as your boyfriend I am expected to offer you support but your offering me none?


11:44
Girlfriend
ok i m done with that
have a nice day


Please tell me how I should resolve what I should do. My initial thought is to wait until Friday then make contact again. I don't think she should expect me to apologise.

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Jul 23, 2014 4:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Made a big mess on facebook with gf of 2 years

This crap is on your 'fakebook' page?

Author:  hipster102 [ Wed Jul 23, 2014 4:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Made a big mess on facebook with gf of 2 years

Quote:
This crap is on your 'fakebook' page?
it was a facebook chat

Author:  CharlesFinley [ Wed Jul 23, 2014 4:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Made a big mess on facebook chat with gf of 2 years

Oh my god, are you guys 13 years old?

Have a fucking adult discussion in person or on the phone. If you two can't even talk about your relationship without making veiled remarks in Facebook posts then you're lost.

New users on this forum have had the whole "respect me or else" pounded into them so hard that they're tossing away perfectly good relationships and opportunities because they feel they're being 'disrespected' - which is just laughable in most cases.

Author:  hipster102 [ Wed Jul 23, 2014 4:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Made a big mess on facebook chat with gf of 2 years

Quote:
Oh my god, are you guys 13 years old?

Have a fucking adult discussion in person or on the phone. If you two can't even talk about your relationship without making veiled remarks in Facebook posts then you're lost.

New users on this forum have had the whole "respect me or else" pounded into them so hard that they're tossing away perfectly good relationships and opportunities because they feel they're being 'disrespected' - which is just laughable in most cases.
So what should I do?

Should I apologise for speaking like that to her? I don't normally talk to people like that because it is childish and disrespectful to myself. I regret it now. She speaks to me like that sometimes and always go silent on her but in fairness I'm not on my period. I KNOW we need to talk. I'm trying to get her to do that without breaking up with her. This was a frustrated attempt to get her attention. I don't even know what's going on with her right now. And the thing is she is a Muslim fasting for Ramadan and takes it seriously, she's a not a bad girl.

Author:  CharlesFinley [ Wed Jul 23, 2014 4:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Made a big mess on facebook chat with gf of 2 years

You call her... Don't ask "talk tonight"?

Just call...

Say "all this is dumb, let's just forget it happened and get back to normal"... Then say "I'm sorry" if you are... (and if you think you really owe her an apology).... and go from there.

If she raises a stink about it and won't drop it, then you ask what she'd like to see happen ---- what would solve this issue in her eyes....

She likely won't even have an answer - you two sound like little children throwing temper tantrums.

If she does have an answer, you can decide whether it's doable or not and whether you can abide by it...

And if you've got a girlfriend, stop calling other girls baby, if you know it's gonna piss off your girlfriend.

Author:  maria_ [ Wed Jul 23, 2014 5:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Made a big mess on facebook chat with gf of 2 years

Why did you call the other girl "baby"? You shouldn't had.
And anyway.... you forgot to apologise to your girlfriend for getting carried away and calling the other girl "baby". This is why she is angry with you.
Stop ignoring her and deal with the situation.
How would you deal with it if it was a friend that you would had made upset?
.

Author:  hipster102 [ Wed Jul 23, 2014 5:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Made a big mess on facebook chat with gf of 2 years

Quote:
Why did you call the other girl "baby"? You shouldn't had.
And anyway.... you forgot to apologise to your girlfriend for getting carried away and calling the other girl "baby". This is why she is angry with you.
Stop ignoring her and deal with the situation.
How would you deal with it if it was a friend that you would had made upset?
.
I did apologise to her for that. And my mistake, it was "Happy birthday honey" not "baby". Also the mutual friend in question has lived in Romania for the past two years.

If it was a friend, I'd probably just say, hey that was stupid, buddy, lets get a beer. However, if it was a friend I wouldn't take it as seriously and I can't really see that scenario occurring.

The other factor is I have a health problem and it's causing me discomfort and not going away any-time soon.

Author:  hipster102 [ Wed Jul 23, 2014 5:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Made a big mess on facebook chat with gf of 2 years

Quote:
Quote:
Why did you call the other girl "baby"? You shouldn't had.
And anyway.... you forgot to apologise to your girlfriend for getting carried away and calling the other girl "baby". This is why she is angry with you.
Stop ignoring her and deal with the situation.
How would you deal with it if it was a friend that you would had made upset?
.
I did apologise to her for that. And my mistake, it was "Happy birthday honey" not "baby". Also the mutual friend in question has lived in Romania for the past two years.

If it was a friend, I'd probably just say, hey that was stupid, buddy, lets get a beer. However, if it was a friend I wouldn't take it as seriously and I can't really see that scenario occurring.

The other factor is I have a health problem and it's causing me discomfort and not going away any-time soon. She doesn't yet know about this because I haven't told her. It's making me depressed and I don't want to be depressed, I don't know how telling her is going to help and I know that it will change the way she sees me.

Author:  maria_ [ Wed Jul 23, 2014 7:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Made a big mess on facebook chat with gf of 2 years

Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Why did you call the other girl "baby"? You shouldn't had.
And anyway.... you forgot to apologise to your girlfriend for getting carried away and calling the other girl "baby". This is why she is angry with you.
Stop ignoring her and deal with the situation.
How would you deal with it if it was a friend that you would had made upset?
.
I did apologise to her for that. And my mistake, it was "Happy birthday honey" not "baby". Also the mutual friend in question has lived in Romania for the past two years.

If it was a friend, I'd probably just say, hey that was stupid, buddy, lets get a beer. However, if it was a friend I wouldn't take it as seriously and I can't really see that scenario occurring.

The other factor is I have a health problem and it's causing me discomfort and not going away any-time soon. She doesn't yet know about this because I haven't told her. It's making me depressed and I don't want to be depressed, I don't know how telling her is going to help and I know that it will change the way she sees me.
I am really sorry about your health problem. I hope you get better.
Don't take it seriously with her either same as you would with a friend.
There is no reason to pay more attention.
Make sure you take care of your health and put yourself as a priority. She will come around when she cools down.
Now the only thing she does is to make sure she has control.

Author:  neo87 [ Wed Jul 23, 2014 8:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Made a big mess on facebook chat with gf of 2 years

3way why are you trolling? Either this chick cheated on you and your hiding that or you're trolling.

Author:  neo87 [ Thu Jul 24, 2014 12:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Made a big mess on facebook chat with gf of 2 years

Summary: Girl cheated, 3way took her back, he sent a msg to a mutual friend much later saying Happy bday honey, gf found out immediately, broke up with him, now she's dodging him. Thoughts?

Author:  AFCToTheMax [ Thu Jul 24, 2014 11:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Made a big mess on facebook chat with gf of 2 years

If this girl is the one you mentioned in your other thread than just dump her. You have a fucked up relationship. You can't talk to each other. You have issues with temper, she has as well. Better off without each other.

Author:  CharlesFinley [ Thu Jul 24, 2014 12:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Made a big mess on facebook chat with gf of 2 years

Woah, wait - this OP is using multiple logins?

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