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| Anyway to recover from this shit? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=181724 |
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| Author: | JackRose [ Fri Jul 18, 2014 8:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Anyway to recover from this shit? |
So for me it usually goes: Meet girl Girl falls for guy, Guy falls for girl We have a "thing" going for a little while or maybe even start a legitimate relationship, a lot of time passes We have multiple small fights or arguments over something stupid (The normal "couple" kind, nothing crazy, and I never get personal with them) Then the girl NEVER wants to talk to me again. Literally NEVER wants to talk to me again. It's crazy. Regardless of what I do or how I come across these chicks will absolutely refuse to deal with me on the grounds that I am me. If I ask they literally just tell me they don't want to talk to me. No reason is given. They "just don't want to talk to me." I've tried every approach in the book, my book, for trying to rectify the situation with these girls but nothing has ever worked (And that includes trying to wait it out.) Is this shit normal? Am I actually the one who's fucking up somehow? I fully understand and practice the art of moving on, so don't preach that at me, but if there's a way of recovering from this kind of shit i'd sure as hell like to know. |
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| Author: | neo87 [ Fri Jul 18, 2014 8:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Anyway to recover from this shit? |
What are some examples of the fights? |
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| Author: | JackRose [ Sun Jul 20, 2014 4:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Anyway to recover from this shit? |
Quote: What are some examples of the fights?
I don't know, they're really that insignificant. There might not even be a fight and they'll all of a sudden stop wanting to talk to me, like just drop off communication. They don't even remember, they've said so before. They'll be like "Well I don't know why it got this way, but I just don't want to talk to you. Please leave me alone forever." Now that I think about it I think they probably usually happen when I call a girl out on her shit... Like when this one girl I talked to every other day told me to 'not be a stranger,' so I started hitting her up just about every morning. Then a week later she tells me that i'm 'so clingy' so I brought up the fact that she's the one who told me to text her more often. No argument this time, she just said that she had class and I haven't texted her since.
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| Author: | oceanx [ Sun Jul 20, 2014 8:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Anyway to recover from this shit? |
I think you may be falling into the territory of self-fulfilling prophecies. Before your next relationship tell yourself that it goes smoothly and any disagreements are smoothly dealt with. You are entering relationships with the full expectation of a certain pattern to occur - & what do you know, the patterns you expect do occur. Just something to think about. |
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| Author: | n2thevoid [ Sun Jul 20, 2014 8:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Anyway to recover from this shit? |
Gain some insight into your attachment style/patterns, more often then not it can predict the outcome of any relationship, particularly romantic. All fights/issues in relationships are, at their core, protests of a fear of a loss of attachment. The strategies in which we employ to have our needs met (usually unconsciously done) are learned from childhood from our interactions with attachment figures. These strategies may have been functional in helping us get what we wanted as children, but into adulthood they can be maladaptive in helping us have fulfilling relationships. You might want to read "Hold Me Tight" by Sue Johnson (pioneer of Emotion Focused Therapy), it'll shed some insight into why you do what you do in relationships (building awareness) at which point you can decide to do something about it. For example, if you're pre-occupied anxious (attachment style) and your partner is ambivalent-avoidant (attachment style), you will clearly see how your trying to be vulnerable pushes (pursuer) the other person away (withdrawal). I actually suggest everybody read this book. In addition, you guys may want to checkout this article on attachment and how various styles affect different relationships in our lives http://internal.psychology.illinois.edu ... chment.htm At the end he's included a link to a test where you can determine your own attachment style, very very interesting stuff. |
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