Hi guys,

Im new on the forum, because I desperately need your advice. My girlfriend of 2 years and I are fighting a lot lately, mostly caused by her bullshit over nothing. We talked about it yesterday, she said she felt that her feelings were fading. Now I understand your first response as a pua: dump her, she's not worth it. But i dont take this statement personal. Its just caused by my beta behavior in the relationship; always being way too sweet and try to give her confidence, not actively aware of making attraction, and accepting the bullshit she gives me from time to time. Also I just dont want to be single. It will end up in way too much partying, alcohol and drugs. This girl saved me from that. So to conclude: I NEED this girl to fall back in love with me. My strategy so far is having almost no contact since the talk, and when I will meet her in 2 days, I want to be the one suggesting a little time off. That way im flipping the script a bit and also framing a definate break-up as not an option. Also I will say I can't have a relationship with a girl that doesn't love me or talk shit to me all the time. Does this sound like a good idea? Do you have any further advice on how to handle this, and how to behave to make her feel in love again?

Thanks,

Arjen

Hi guys,

Im new on the forum, because I desperately need your advice. My girlfriend of 2 years and I are fighting a lot lately, mostly caused by her bullshit over nothing. We talked about it yesterday, she said she felt that her feelings were fading. Now I understand your first response as a pua: dump her, she's not worth it. But i dont take this statement personal. Its just caused by my beta behavior in the relationship; always being way too sweet and try to give her confidence, not actively aware of making attraction, and accepting the bullshit she gives me from time to time. Also I just dont want to be single. It will end up in way too much partying, alcohol and drugs. This girl saved me from that. So to conclude: I NEED this girl to fall back in love with me. My strategy so far is having almost no contact since the talk, and when I will meet her in 2 days, I want to be the one suggesting a little time off. That way im flipping the script a bit and also framing a definate break-up as not an option. Also I will say I can't have a relationship with a girl that doesn't love me or talk shit to me all the time. Does this sound like a good idea? Do you have any further advice on how to handle this, and how to behave to make her feel in love again?

Thanks,

Arjen

@Playboi: what I mean is when I get single, I have to meet new girls, in my social group that unfortunately goes hand in hand with the aforementioned

@neo87:

we're not actually beyond dump yet. We're in the fase were she needed time to think. The fights were literally over nothing. Over me not putting a spoon in the dishwasher etc. I'm trying to list some things up but I can't because the causes of the actual fights were so insignificant. It was always caused by her and her irrationality. I think she was just trying to sabotage the relationship subconsciously.

Also we just haven't been leveling lately. I'm always busy with my business, and at the end of the day I just want to come home, have sex (which didn't happen) ok than cuddle, watch netflix and go to bed. So yes I became kind of boring, since she is still in university and likes to go out and do stuff with her slutty friends. We tried to fix this by doing more stuff together, and things were going better for a little while, but she told me at those moments we were 'trying too hard to make it work'. Also when I confront her with the fact that the serotonins just disappear after 2 years, and that we shouldnt just give up what we have/keep fighting for it, she says she has the feeling that I want to fight harder for this relationship than her, and she feels she is too young to force it to happen. She also told me she hurts me all the time. I didn't know what she meant by that, probably the fight initiation all the time, but anyway this will make me not look really alpha if she thinks that way.

Also lately she has been semi burning out because of school and work, which caused in multiple panick- or cry attacks because she isn't very good in handling stress. This was also an issue since I handle stress really good, and I just can't seem to help her with it. She just can't take my advice on these things although she clearly knows I'm spiritually in a much better place than her.

So what were good things? She and I just used to level só insanely good. Always thinking the same thing, having the same interests qua going places/music/clothing, both extreme foodies/gym fanatics, both synical bastards. Also emotionally we could just talk about everything and totally understand eachother. It was just amazing until the last 2 months or so.

...she isn't very good in handling stress.