PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=180881		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  g-force [ Thu Jun 26, 2014 10:41 am ]
Post subject:  Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
I have been with my gf for 18months after a year of being a busy pua. Some of my natural game kicks in around hot woman when I'm not with my gf and the temptation to close is great.

I love my gf and don't want to slip up. Has anyone else had a problem settling into a relationship after being successful at the game? Is breaking the addiction to picking up and scoring achievable?

I would like real advice from the guys who are now content in their relationships.
Author:  Karas [ Thu Jun 26, 2014 12:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
I second this question.

G-force I'm in the same boat as you. The only difference is your a better man then me because, the urge is
still there to approach other woman even when my GF is around and she's a HB8 Asian (I know I'm a dick)

Maybe I'm just a corrupt S.O.B lol

No but seriously help!
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Thu Jun 26, 2014 1:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
I'm in this boat as well.

I wouldn't cheat - cause the girl I'm with is completely awesome... but it's a fine line because you have this culture pounded into you which is so hard to acquire (getting over the AA, building a routine, being healthy and attractive and always making an effort)... and then you don't need it anymore.

I flirt with everyone. Even old ladies and midgets... I just do - so that's how I stay with it. I just like to talk to people and be social - but I always cut it off before I'd number close or anything.

Other guys may have different opinions or ways to stay fresh while in a relationship, but this seems to work for me.
Author:  g-force [ Sat Jun 28, 2014 10:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
I think this topic needs some exploring.
Maybe you need to form new habbits to become a relationship artist?
Keep the things that DHV and that minimise anxiety but reduce the obvious places or time spent with wings and sarging.

Thoughts guys? Do I delete my former booty calls numbers, a few still peruse me?
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Sun Jul 13, 2014 1:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
This question is also aplplicable to me
Author:  readysalted [ Mon Jul 14, 2014 7:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
I think it's about finding a good balance between enjoying a lighthearted, fun social life, but also being serious about the effects that your actions could have on your girlfriend.

It all depends on her boundaries. Some couples at one end of the spectrum would agree that flirting with other people, is not okay, while couples at the other end of the spectrum, are swingers. It really depends on what you feel is acceptable, AS A COUPLE. After all, too many PUA relationships turn sour, after a guy's laid back attitude to flirting etc. makes their girlfriend feel either insecure, jealous, or in some cases unwanted.

At the end of the day, if you find yourself in a nightclub with the boys, sat in a booth alongside some girls, and you start to game them, just consider how you would feel being a fly on the wall, if your girlfriend was doing this with some hot guys.

The caveat to all of that, is be really careful not to lose your inner game in a relationship. Besides the obvious slip ups of becoming reliant on your partner, it's also very easy to fall out of practice, and you can lose your game, or worse, just your social skills, frame control, inner game, if you don't keep working on them.
As we all know, the moment you become the type of guy who cannot handle a life outside of his LTR, you lose your value, and your relationship with your LTR ends up breaking down, and you end up defenceless.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue Jul 15, 2014 7:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
I hate to be the asshole here, but I don't see how you can go from being a PUA to letting a girl suppress your urges to be who you were before the relationship started. And Karas.. How is it that you're settling for an 8? This is suppose to be the community of the top players in the business; at least thats what I thought.

To the OP, I used to get the same urges and I realized that I would always get unhappy after being in a relationship for a while because I would miss the chase. So instead of just staying in until I got bored enough to break up with the girl I just told her.. " I'm unhappy; I miss approaching women. " - And we talked about adding a second girlfriend to the mix; someone that could be a sister to her and aid me in my happiness. So here we are now; she's looking and I am looking as well. I won't do anything until they officially meet, but the idea in itself has added a new spark to my relationship.

Imagine walking down the street with two women by your side and they are both your girlfriend? I can't say I'll stop at two, the skies honestly the limit. Playboy mansion here I come :)
Author:  Karas [ Wed Jul 16, 2014 12:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
Hold on brotha......my girl looks good! :mrgreen:

Now if you and your girl have that type of agreement then more power to you. As for me, I just can't see myself asking the girl that I have been in a loving, dedicated, one on one relationship with for almost to 2 years, something like that. I don't know if it's just morals or what but, I could never do anything like that not at least in this situation. I just have to much respect for her.

Now... on the other hand it's awesome that your GF has agreed to what you asked but, I'm just curious is she also given the same offer?
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Wed Jul 16, 2014 1:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
No she not.

Thats not what she wants; she doesn't get the urges to sleep with other men. She wasn't out there approaching men trying to get laid. She just wants a good lover. I'm the second guy she's ever been with and she hopes that I am the last. I hope that I am the same thing to her aswell. We were just able to talk and she came to the understanding of my needs; and the thing that is going to make me happy. And she said she would not be okay with me running around sleeping with random women; but if we can find a woman that can fit into our dynamic; one that can be both a friend to her and a good woman to me. We can all be together.

She feels happier that way; because at least she knows who the girl is. The plan is for me to have two girlfriends that are best friends. I'm not into the lesibian thing and neither is she.
Author:  LIFE PUA [ Thu Jul 17, 2014 12:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
I find that after about a half year, it boils down to compatibility more than looks. In my opinion, a girl that is a '10' or a '7' is all subjective. A PUA can always do 'better' in looks, but in the long run it is about who you can spend time with. This is my opinion anyways. I have been with a lot of '10's' that would be HORRIBLE to be with long term.

In respect to not 'Gaming' I think it depends. If you are a guy who runs Natural Game and it is apart of his personality, she decided to be with you. As long as you do not close the other women you are just being you.

But if you go out and run routines and FTC and try to do number closes it is a problem.

If you need to close them, odds are your relationship is missing something. My GF wants more sex than I do honestly. Once a day I am good. If I get more 'sexual drive' my GF wants to handle it. I just am an Attractive guy to her. Because of this I do not have the need to 'close' other girls. I do 'Game' so to speak. By that i mean I am social, and fun. But I have no intention. In my mind, I am not Gaming, I am being me.

If you are not happy in your relationship and need to close other girls, I think you need to re-evaluate the relationship. I will not say it is not hard. I love the chase and I love the Validation. But I do not need it. My needs are met and I can focus on other things in my life. From my experience, if PUA is apart of you it will never go away. I chose to focus my 'Game' on my girl and keep my relationship healthy and interesting.

I do know this, when I 'need' to 'Game' it is because I want the Validation. That is a bad habit to break. As far as being social, fun, and being the man that Attracted your girl, that should never stop.
Author:  Karas [ Thu Jul 17, 2014 11:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
Quote:
No she not.

Thats not what she wants; she doesn't get the urges to sleep with other men. She wasn't out there approaching men trying to get laid. She just wants a good lover. I'm the second guy she's ever been with and she hopes that I am the last. I hope that I am the same thing to her aswell. We were just able to talk and she came to the understanding of my needs; and the thing that is going to make me happy. And she said she would not be okay with me running around sleeping with random women; but if we can find a woman that can fit into our dynamic; one that can be both a friend to her and a good woman to me. We can all be together.

She feels happier that way; because at least she knows who the girl is. The plan is for me to have two girlfriends that are best friends. I'm not into the lesibian thing and neither is she.
Not to jump off subject.I understand what your saying but, hypothetically If she was to come to you and ask to have another boyfriend as well. What would be your reply?
Author:  maria_ [ Thu Jul 17, 2014 3:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
Quote:
No she not.

Thats not what she wants; she doesn't get the urges to sleep with other men. She wasn't out there approaching men trying to get laid. She just wants a good lover. I'm the second guy she's ever been with and she hopes that I am the last. I hope that I am the same thing to her aswell. We were just able to talk and she came to the understanding of my needs; and the thing that is going to make me happy. And she said she would not be okay with me running around sleeping with random women; but if we can find a woman that can fit into our dynamic; one that can be both a friend to her and a good woman to me. We can all be together.

She feels happier that way; because at least she knows who the girl is. The plan is for me to have two girlfriends that are best friends. I'm not into the lesibian thing and neither is she.
Sorry to say this but I get the feeling that you are never going to find that second girlfriend.
Your girlfriend agreed in that so she stops you from getting laid with other random girls.
She will either never make friends with any new girl or she will be out looking for a new guy.
Unless she has a very low sex drive or she is obsessed with you it is unlikely that her agreement is genuine and does not hide any other motives behind it.
I hope that I am wrong but it just sounds to me too good to be true.
Author:  maria_ [ Thu Jul 17, 2014 3:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
Quote:
Quote:
No she not.

Thats not what she wants; she doesn't get the urges to sleep with other men. She wasn't out there approaching men trying to get laid. She just wants a good lover. I'm the second guy she's ever been with and she hopes that I am the last. I hope that I am the same thing to her aswell. We were just able to talk and she came to the understanding of my needs; and the thing that is going to make me happy. And she said she would not be okay with me running around sleeping with random women; but if we can find a woman that can fit into our dynamic; one that can be both a friend to her and a good woman to me. We can all be together.

She feels happier that way; because at least she knows who the girl is. The plan is for me to have two girlfriends that are best friends. I'm not into the lesibian thing and neither is she.
Not to jump off subject.I understand what your saying but, hypothetically If she was to come to you and ask to have another boyfriend as well. What would be your reply?
LOL he will obviously say no.. but a woman won't bother asking.
If I was her I would just not say anything and I would cheat on him on first chance. Then if I would get caught I would suggest a more open status on the relationship and I would pretend to be happy until I am 100% gone.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Thu Jul 17, 2014 3:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
I wouldn't say yes or no. I just wouldn't be interested in being in a relationship with a woman who wants to sleep with other men. I don't ever tell women what to do; I just help them understand my position and let them make their own decisions. And I encourage them to do the same with me.

It sounds like a double standard initially; and I definitely understand the position of your question and why you asked it. She asked me the same question and we talked about this very thing.

Ask a woman " Why haven't you had sex with 100 men yet ? " - The majority of women with a normal hormonal balance will tell you, that that is not something they want.

Ask a man why he hasn't had sex with 100 women yet - He'll tell you he just hasn't had the time to yet. He would if he could.

There are specific genetic differences in both men and women that cause us to want certain things.. I don't make my girl open the door for me sometimes; or pull out my chairs, or take out the trash, just because I feel that it would be a double standard if she didn't. Why do I have to hold the door for you? Why don't you hold it for me? Why do I have to protect the home if someone breaks in? Why don't you protect it? Thats a double standard? No its not. We each play different roles based on the things we want from the other.

The fact of the matter is; a hormonally balanced woman doesn't want to sleep with a bunch of other men. A hormonally balanced male does.. Just take a look at nature. One rooster, 15 Hens - one lion, 4 lioness - one bull, 10 cows and so on. There is just something in the genetic make up of a masculine creature that makes him seek out different things. Not to mention, I personally don't want to be with a woman who is hormonally unbalanced.

And I just want to say that I thank you Karas and I thank you maria_ for challenging my position on this. Its allowed me to better understand my own psychology; which in turn will improve my relationship even more.

I appreciate all of you guys and gal.

Thanks :)
Author:  maria_ [ Thu Jul 17, 2014 4:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Breaking old habbits needed to make my relationship work
Quote:
The fact of the matter is; a hormonally balanced woman doesn't want to sleep with a bunch of other men. A hormonally balanced male does..
This is what theory says... but it's not true.
At least from my experience and what I know from myself..
I reassure you with 99% of my friends, even the shyest ones all wanted to sleep with a bunch of men but it is society that make us either not to say it openly ( and share only with our closest female friends) or do it and make sure no one will find out.
I don't think that more than 20+ that I have spoke to we were all hormonally unbalanced.
I even spoke once with the only girl that I was friends with her boyfriend and he was saying that she had a low sex drive and over a glass of wine and girl-to-girl conversation she confessed to me that she was not attracted to her boyfriend that much because he was too short... She was the only case that I've heard that had a low sex drive...
Some of the most daring female friends I had had also set up a challenge to sleep with a certain type of guy by the end of the month and not tell anyone...
It can't be that I met all the sex freaks! That's impossible. If you could meet my friends they were the good girl type. They were not party animals... so imagine what party animals say when they are together..
Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/