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| Long-distance - minimal contact I can get away with. https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=180416 |
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| Author: | 7floyd7 [ Sat Jun 14, 2014 7:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Long-distance - minimal contact I can get away with. |
Hi guys! I met a girl a few months ago who I really hit it off with. Moreso than any girl in my entire life. She lives over 1,500 miles away from me. I know I should probably not bother with a LDR but there's something about her that makes me not want to give up. The only reason I am pursuing this is because she will be here, where I live, in 14 more months. That is a damn long time to keep the attraction and keep things how they are. We will see eachother every 3 months until then. When we are together everything is like out of a movie. Picture perfect. I am not a fan of texting though. It's way too easy of a platform to get in fights or to talk so much that you bore eachother. I read that some people say in an LDR you should talk everyday. My goal is to message her once a week and talk to her on the phone once a week. Do you think this is too little? Do you think I should be talking to her more? It's like cruise control. I want to keep things preserved until 14 months when she gets here. I love talking to her but I don't want to talk so much that it kills attraction. |
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| Author: | RunTheNumbers [ Sat Jun 14, 2014 11:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Long-distance - minimal contact I can get away with. |
Be careful not to make it into a chore, where she starts to feel like, "oh man, I gotta talk to this guy for an hour at 6pm" every Tuesday, etc |
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| Author: | 7floyd7 [ Sat Jun 14, 2014 11:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Long-distance - minimal contact I can get away with. |
Quote: Be careful not to make it into a chore, where she starts to feel like, "oh man, I gotta talk to this guy for an hour at 6pm" every Tuesday, etc
We definitely don't schedule times to talk. Just on random days at random times. We also rarely talk on the phone. Usually just a random text conversation every few days. I'm trying to find that sweet spot. I'm starting to think that maybe I message her, on my own will, every 3 days. If she messages me before that then I will of course reply. It seems we are about half half in terms of who messages whom first. I think also that maybe we should just talk on the phone maybe once every two weeks for apprx. 20 minutes.
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| Author: | neo87 [ Sun Jun 15, 2014 5:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Long-distance - minimal contact I can get away with. |
Text and talk once a week in a LDR? Be prepared for a breakup a month in. If you don't like talking to her more than once a week don't be with her. |
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| Author: | 7floyd7 [ Sun Jun 15, 2014 7:50 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Long-distance - minimal contact I can get away with. |
Quote: Text and talk once a week in a LDR? Be prepared for a breakup a month in. If you don't like talking to her more than once a week don't be with her.
I love talking to her daily. I just don't want to end up boring her because we talk so much. Maybe texting every 2 or 3 days is a smarter move.
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| Author: | neo87 [ Sun Jun 15, 2014 7:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Long-distance - minimal contact I can get away with. |
Think of it this way. You're long distance. The normal situation (for most couples) is they see each other a few times a week, text daily and may have a phone conversation when they can't see each other. Not saying every relationship follows this, but it todays day and age, people are used to constantly communicating with bfs/gfs. Anything you do less than that is typically less than ideal and as she can't see you physically or be intimate, you're just adding to the negative side of your relationship. |
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| Author: | 7floyd7 [ Sun Jun 15, 2014 8:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Long-distance - minimal contact I can get away with. |
Quote: Think of it this way. You're long distance. The normal situation (for most couples) is they see each other a few times a week, text daily and may have a phone conversation when they can't see each other. Not saying every relationship follows this, but it todays day and age, people are used to constantly communicating with bfs/gfs. Anything you do less than that is typically less than ideal and as she can't see you physically or be intimate, you're just adding to the negative side of your relationship.
Thanks for the reply! We aren't official in any form. We discussed that we are not boyfriend and girlfriend until she moves here. When we see eachother it is basically like we are together. Sex, holding hands, kissing, romance. I figured the lighter communication because we aren't official but now I am starting to believe I should communicate more.
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