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Urgent: ex contacts me on my birthday, what to do?
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=180247		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  manilahottie [ Tue Jun 10, 2014 6:36 am ]
Post subject:  Urgent: ex contacts me on my birthday, what to do?
Guys what is the mature thing to do in this situation?

Backstory: I broke up with her some time ago after being together for 5 years. She insisted that we be friends, and I gave her that. We sort of still saw one another until a month ago. We got into an argument over the phone and she hung up on me. No contact after that.

It pains me to admit that it drove me into severe depression. I broke up with her for our own good i.e. I really loved her but it just wasn't working. Depression caused me to do a bunch of stupid shit like get into an accident and some physical altercations. I was just mad at the world, and I blame her for that.

Now I am in a better condition, seeing two girls and working on a few others.

So she greets me today happy birthday and I'm not sure how to respond, if I should respond at all. Should I just say thanks?

What I really want to do is to open up how she made me feel, that if she wants to be friends with me she can't do with me what she does to her other friends. No mind games, no childish shit because it has a negative affect my psyche because I care for her.

Part of me just wants to walk away and look back - if not for the 5 years that we shared I would have agreed to being friends with her anyway.

Urgently need your advise guys, what's the mature thing to do in this situation?
Author:  AFCToTheMax [ Tue Jun 10, 2014 11:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Urgent: ex contacts me on my birthday, what to do?
You say you broke up with her because it wasn't working. But you still love her. Why did you break up ?

You blame her for the breakup ? When you start blaming someone for something you deny yourself the ability to see your own faults.

I don't think the question here is how to respond. A simple thanks is enough.

Also don't be friends with someone you have feelings for.
Author:  ImPhilosopher [ Tue Jun 10, 2014 11:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Urgent: ex contacts me on my birthday, what to do?
Ignore her trust me this is what best for the situation.
I know if you don't reply her she is going call you again. "Your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away, to make others come after you, delaying their satisfaction" and "The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of seduction". If you think that this is not good don't reply to her with "thanks". Just reply to her with "kkk" thats it. I'm prefer not to reply to her.

Mr. Philosopher.
Author:  manilahottie [ Tue Jun 10, 2014 12:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Urgent: ex contacts me on my birthday, what to do?
Quote:
You say you broke up with her because it wasn't working. But you still love her. Why did you break up ?

You blame her for the breakup ? When you start blaming someone for something you deny yourself the ability to see your own faults.

I don't think the question here is how to respond. A simple thanks is enough.

Also don't be friends with someone you have feelings for.
When we broke up I told her I didn't want to be friends. She begged and I gave in. Big mistake.
Author:  manilahottie [ Tue Jun 10, 2014 12:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Urgent: ex contacts me on my birthday, what to do?
Quote:
Ignore her trust me this is what best for the situation.
I know if you don't reply her she is going call you again. "Your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away, to make others come after you, delaying their satisfaction" and "The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of seduction". If you think that this is not good don't reply to her with "thanks". Just reply to her with "kkk" thats it. I'm prefer not to reply to her.

Mr. Philosopher.
Thanks for the input, just trying to figure out what the mature move is. If I don't respond wouldn't that give her the idea that I'm hurt or that I still care that's why I didn't respond?
Author:  ImPhilosopher [ Tue Jun 10, 2014 12:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Urgent: ex contacts me on my birthday, what to do?
Quote:
Quote:
Ignore her trust me this is what best for the situation.
I know if you don't reply her she is going call you again. "Your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away, to make others come after you, delaying their satisfaction" and "The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of seduction". If you think that this is not good don't reply to her with "thanks". Just reply to her with "kkk" thats it. I'm prefer not to reply to her.

Mr. Philosopher.
Thanks for the input, just trying to figure out what the mature move is. If I don't respond wouldn't that give her the idea that I'm hurt or that I still care that's why I didn't respond?
If you don't reply to her she will check her msg after every 10 min and when she is very desperate she will call you. But if you reply to her you give her what she want. If you reply to her after 2 or 3 msg everything is over. Don't give her "satisfaction".

Mr. Philosopher.
Author:  AFCToTheMax [ Wed Jun 11, 2014 9:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Urgent: ex contacts me on my birthday, what to do?
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Ignore her trust me this is what best for the situation.
I know if you don't reply her she is going call you again. "Your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away, to make others come after you, delaying their satisfaction" and "The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of seduction". If you think that this is not good don't reply to her with "thanks". Just reply to her with "kkk" thats it. I'm prefer not to reply to her.

Mr. Philosopher.
Thanks for the input, just trying to figure out what the mature move is. If I don't respond wouldn't that give her the idea that I'm hurt or that I still care that's why I didn't respond?
If you don't reply to her she will check her msg after every 10 min and when she is very desperate she will call you. But if you reply to her you give her what she want. If you reply to her after 2 or 3 msg everything is over. Don't give her "satisfaction".

Mr. Philosopher.
Not to sound harsh mate but this is what teenagers do. They play the "I don't reply to seem more attractive and play mind games with you".

To OP the mature thing to do is to move on. You still care. You want her back. She wants to be friends. You don't.

Regardless if you reply or not it won't do you a thing.

Again why did you break up ?
Author:  ImPhilosopher [ Thu Jun 12, 2014 5:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Urgent: ex contacts me on my birthday, what to do?
@Zealot
If you move on like that then how do u say that u r a PUA this is the most imp skill to get one who broke up with you. Okk you tell me the best tricks you have that how can you get some after the break up???

This is the real game and also hardest part of this forum.
Author:  manilahottie [ Thu Jun 12, 2014 6:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Urgent: ex contacts me on my birthday, what to do?
I went ahead and responded with "Thanks" about 12 hours later. During that period she sent another text but it got cut off so I couldn't read the whole message, something about dinner.
Quote:
To OP the mature thing to do is to move on. You still care. You want her back. She wants to be friends. You don't.

Regardless if you reply or not it won't do you a thing.

Again why did you break up ?
It was an un-rewarding relationship, intimacy-wise. It was fine the first year but it was all downhill for the next 4 years. Last 2 years I got tired of trying to get intimacy so we ended up with almost no sex, not even kissing.
Author:  AFCToTheMax [ Thu Jun 12, 2014 8:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Urgent: ex contacts me on my birthday, what to do?
Quote:
I went ahead and responded with "Thanks" about 12 hours later. During that period she sent another text but it got cut off so I couldn't read the whole message, something about dinner.
Quote:
To OP the mature thing to do is to move on. You still care. You want her back. She wants to be friends. You don't.

Regardless if you reply or not it won't do you a thing.

Again why did you break up ?
It was an un-rewarding relationship, intimacy-wise. It was fine the first year but it was all downhill for the next 4 years. Last 2 years I got tired of trying to get intimacy so we ended up with almost no sex, not even kissing.
Ok it's fair enough. In this case why do you even care about this thing ? If there is no sex and intimacy you are basically friends. Which you were even though it was labelled as a relationship.

I would just move on. You will only get better girls than this.
Author:  manilahottie [ Thu Jun 12, 2014 4:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Urgent: ex contacts me on my birthday, what to do?
Quote:
Ok it's fair enough. In this case why do you even care about this thing ? If there is no sex and intimacy you are basically friends. Which you were even though it was labelled as a relationship.

I would just move on. You will only get better girls than this.
You are spot on, we were no different from being friends/buddies for the last part of our relationship.

Perhaps I really love(d) her. There was a time when I could have been content just living the rest of my life with her.

But alas, it was not meant to last.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Fri Jun 13, 2014 8:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Urgent: ex contacts me on my birthday, what to do?
Friends thing NEVER works unless it's a mutual feeling. Otherwise its just a thinly veiled excuse to not let go.
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