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Girlfriend lying to me!!
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Author:  Johnny Strabler [ Wed Jun 04, 2014 9:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Girlfriend lying to me!!

So I've been dating this girl for 9 months now, and we have gotten quite serious. We have had our hiccups, along the way, but generally, things have been good.

Whenever there have been problems, they have been because of her closeness to her best friend, who is a guy. They have known each other for 2 years, and he is like a complete AFC. She calls him her brother, but he clearly has feelings for her, since she is seriously good looking.

I eventually put my foot down, and told her that I was not going to tolerate their closeness anymore, as he constantly tries to brainwash her against me, and this one time, when the three of us met, she was spending all her time with him, and I felt alienated and pathetic.

She eventually agreed to maintain a distance from the guy. However, recently, she has been meeting him behind my back. I know, because they have been seen together by some of my friends. She denies it completely and puts the blame on me for not trusting her. On top of that, she is constantly chatting with him, despite my annoyance at this behaviour. Now, I do not know what to do. She has hidden from me in the past as well as she did not want to cause a fight. However, even when I sweetly tell her, that it is alright, you can meet him if you want to, just do not lie to me, she is still hiding their meetings from me.

I do not mean to act needy or beta, but this really hurts, as I have genuine feelings for this girl, and want their to be honesty in our relationship. I would never hide from her, or make a close friend of the opposite gender, as I respect her and our relationship too much. Now, I have reached a point where I do not even mind their closeness, just as long as I can break this cycle of constant lies. Any idea how I should go about this from here? I ideally would not like to break up. By the way, we are both 21, if that helps.

Author:  Absoliutas [ Wed Jun 04, 2014 10:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend lying to me!!

Are you 100% sure she is lying? If yes then break up because there is nothing you can do. Sluts gonna slut (trust me, they do NOT change, personal experience).

If you aren't sure then don't worry. Fuck her good and as long as she sucks your cock whenever you put her head next to it you are fine.

Author:  RunTheNumbers [ Sat Jun 14, 2014 11:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend lying to me!!

When a girl is best friends with a straight guy her age who's attracted to her and you're buying her dinner... YOU'RE THE CHUMP!!!!

Author:  neo87 [ Sun Jun 15, 2014 5:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend lying to me!!

Quote:
When a girl is best friends with a straight guy her age who's attracted to her and you're buying her dinner... YOU'RE THE CHUMP!!!!

This line made me laugh out loud for some reason.

If she's lying to you, dump her.

On a side note, check yourself (after dumping her). You said this guy likes her because she is good looking. Not bringing the whole "every guy is trying to fuck your gf" idealogy up, but bring something more concrete. Just sounds paranoid. Also from you feeling pathetic when out with them, that's on you. Alienated sure. But no one should make you feel pathetic. Dump your girl for lying and check your inner game out.

Author:  n2thevoid [ Sun Jun 15, 2014 6:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend lying to me!!

So you're feeling a lack of trust and probably to some lesser extent respect.

I'll share with you a situation I had with my ex. She was a very insecure girl who was never comfortable with me having several female friends (who weren't orbiters). In spite of my efforts to bring her into my world so she could understand better the dynamic between the girls and I, her paranoia only grew stronger. In fact, it came to the point where I even got an ultimatum to dump my best friend because she was so convinced the friend was trying to steal me away from her. I had actually started hanging out with this girl behind my GFs back as I grew scared of my gf and her weird antics. I did actually distance myself from this friend for unrelated reasons, but did that squash my GFs insecurities? Nope. She took aim at other female friends I had. She even once told me about an "After 7" rule that I should have known about as if it were common sense - that you don't hangout w friends of the opposite sex after 7 pm (I'm not joking either). It was actually one of the major breaking points in the relationship.

So, your woman has a close male friend. You feel insecure about this, you've tried imposing some rules (in a sense) forbidding her to hangout with him as much, and now she's seeing him behind your back. So she must feel a lot of cognitive dissonance about how to deal with things and I'm sure he fills some need in her life as you do for her as well. The more you push at this, likely the more she'll pull away.

When you say they spend a lot of time together, define "a lot". This just sounds like some needs both of you have that aren't being met and if you can convey this in a non violent way you can both get what you want, most likely.

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