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when is it time to break up?
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Author:  bundy [ Sun Apr 20, 2014 3:31 pm ]
Post subject:  when is it time to break up?

Okay so I've dating my girl for 5 months....and we were hooking up and exclusive for 2 months or so before that. We are in a long distance relationship, at least at the moment. She goes to college in New York, I go to college in Pennsylvania. However, we do frequently visit each other for weekends, and there hasn't been a stretch longer than 2.5 weeks where we haven't been together. Also, we are both graduating and will be in New York afterwards, so we will be in the same area
However, we are having difficulties. We never used to argue, but now we do all the time over usually stupid shit. I will admit, I am often the instigator of these arguments, but sometimes she fucks up and I need to put her in her place, and of course there are instances where she instigates arguments. We are constantly getting into fights over text, and it's just plain old fucking annoying. She is also hypocritical at times, which really I cannot stand, I can't stand it when she asks me not to do something or criticizes me of something she is guilty of.
When we are together, physically that is, it is amazing. All of our worries about each other go out the window, we fuck all the time, and have great weekends together. But in between, recently, we just argue all the time. I find myself asking myself, should break up with her now? Is now when I should do it? But I never do, I love her, absolutely, and do envision this as a long term relationship. She is the same way, when we do fight we do also try and reconcile, saying what annoyed us and what we can do in the future etc to avoid it. However, she often finds herself saying if x doesn't change we can't be together or if y keeps occurring I will have to break up with you. I told her I am tired of hearing that shit, but she is just voicing how she feels and I can't blame her for that. She envisions us in a long term relationship as well, and really is very much in love with me, probably more so with me than me with her, but whatever.

As I am writing this, I am realizing that everything we fight over is essentially petty, and I want to stay with her. But, if we keep fighting, it just brings us both down to where we are constantly not happy with each other and in general and it simply isn't a healthy way to live. I also realize that if we are physically together more often, which we will be after the next month, all these little arguments would quickly be squashed once she saw me in person.

With all of this in mind, to those who have broken off relationships with girls before, when did you finally pull the trigger? How did you know it was right? Can you know?

I had one very legit relationship before, but we fell apart and both agreed to break up, but I was also much younger. I don't want to break up with her over stupid shit, she is beautiful awesome and fun.

Any advice would be appreciated....fuckin women eh?

Author:  Themagicalone [ Mon Apr 21, 2014 6:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: when is it time to break up?

Quote:
Okay so I've dating my girl for 5 months....and we were hooking up and exclusive for 2 months or so before that. We are in a long distance relationship, at least at the moment. She goes to college in New York, I go to college in Pennsylvania. However, we do frequently visit each other for weekends, and there hasn't been a stretch longer than 2.5 weeks where we haven't been together. Also, we are both graduating and will be in New York afterwards, so we will be in the same area
However, we are having difficulties. We never used to argue, but now we do all the time over usually stupid shit. I will admit, I am often the instigator of these arguments, but sometimes she fucks up and I need to put her in her place, and of course there are instances where she instigates arguments. We are constantly getting into fights over text, and it's just plain old fucking annoying. She is also hypocritical at times, which really I cannot stand, I can't stand it when she asks me not to do something or criticizes me of something she is guilty of.
When we are together, physically that is, it is amazing. All of our worries about each other go out the window, we fuck all the time, and have great weekends together. But in between, recently, we just argue all the time. I find myself asking myself, should break up with her now? Is now when I should do it? But I never do, I love her, absolutely, and do envision this as a long term relationship. She is the same way, when we do fight we do also try and reconcile, saying what annoyed us and what we can do in the future etc to avoid it. However, she often finds herself saying if x doesn't change we can't be together or if y keeps occurring I will have to break up with you. I told her I am tired of hearing that shit, but she is just voicing how she feels and I can't blame her for that. She envisions us in a long term relationship as well, and really is very much in love with me, probably more so with me than me with her, but whatever.

As I am writing this, I am realizing that everything we fight over is essentially petty, and I want to stay with her. But, if we keep fighting, it just brings us both down to where we are constantly not happy with each other and in general and it simply isn't a healthy way to live. I also realize that if we are physically together more often, which we will be after the next month, all these little arguments would quickly be squashed once she saw me in person.

With all of this in mind, to those who have broken off relationships with girls before, when did you finally pull the trigger? How did you know it was right? Can you know?

I had one very legit relationship before, but we fell apart and both agreed to break up, but I was also much younger. I don't want to break up with her over stupid shit, she is beautiful awesome and fun.

Any advice would be appreciated....fuckin women eh?
This post reminds me a lot of my last relationship, except it was 2 and a half years. My opinion is if your really thinking about breaking up then you should. I was in the same dilemma for the last 5 months of my relationship should've broke up with her 30+ times but I was beta and kept making excuses to why it shouldn't be done. Eventually I was the one who ended up being screwed because I wasn't man enough to end it.

Author:  Dr. Jones [ Tue Apr 22, 2014 6:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: when is it time to break up?

Your relationship is too much work at a time in your life when things are the easiest they will ever be.

If you two went to the same college, I'd say keep at it. That's doable. The problem is you both are in a LDR and it's too much effort to keep it going.

My advice is to end it. When you go home to visit, text her and bang.

Author:  threadstarter [ Thu Apr 24, 2014 8:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: when is it time to break up?

Quote:
Quote:
Okay so I've dating my girl for 5 months....and we were hooking up and exclusive for 2 months or so before that. We are in a long distance relationship, at least at the moment. She goes to college in New York, I go to college in Pennsylvania. However, we do frequently visit each other for weekends, and there hasn't been a stretch longer than 2.5 weeks where we haven't been together. Also, we are both graduating and will be in New York afterwards, so we will be in the same area
However, we are having difficulties. We never used to argue, but now we do all the time over usually stupid shit. I will admit, I am often the instigator of these arguments, but sometimes she fucks up and I need to put her in her place, and of course there are instances where she instigates arguments. We are constantly getting into fights over text, and it's just plain old fucking annoying. She is also hypocritical at times, which really I cannot stand, I can't stand it when she asks me not to do something or criticizes me of something she is guilty of.
When we are together, physically that is, it is amazing. All of our worries about each other go out the window, we fuck all the time, and have great weekends together. But in between, recently, we just argue all the time. I find myself asking myself, should break up with her now? Is now when I should do it? But I never do, I love her, absolutely, and do envision this as a long term relationship. She is the same way, when we do fight we do also try and reconcile, saying what annoyed us and what we can do in the future etc to avoid it. However, she often finds herself saying if x doesn't change we can't be together or if y keeps occurring I will have to break up with you. I told her I am tired of hearing that shit, but she is just voicing how she feels and I can't blame her for that. She envisions us in a long term relationship as well, and really is very much in love with me, probably more so with me than me with her, but whatever.

As I am writing this, I am realizing that everything we fight over is essentially petty, and I want to stay with her. But, if we keep fighting, it just brings us both down to where we are constantly not happy with each other and in general and it simply isn't a healthy way to live. I also realize that if we are physically together more often, which we will be after the next month, all these little arguments would quickly be squashed once she saw me in person.

With all of this in mind, to those who have broken off relationships with girls before, when did you finally pull the trigger? How did you know it was right? Can you know?

I had one very legit relationship before, but we fell apart and both agreed to break up, but I was also much younger. I don't want to break up with her over stupid shit, she is beautiful awesome and fun.

Any advice would be appreciated....fuckin women eh?
This post reminds me a lot of my last relationship, except it was 2 and a half years. My opinion is if your really thinking about breaking up then you should. I was in the same dilemma for the last 5 months of my relationship should've broke up with her 30+ times but I was beta and kept making excuses to why it shouldn't be done. Eventually I was the one who ended up being screwed because I wasn't man enough to end it.
I agree. I had similar problems with my ex and I even tried to take a "pause" once, but I couldn't go through with it when she started crying. Then she screwed me over. If you do decide to break up with her, you need to go all the way, trust me on that one!

I'm sure that there is a deeper problem; ultimately your fights are not just about these petty things you mention. So take some time to reflect on that. Think long and hard. If you figure something out, maybe you can save the relationship.

Do you really want to be in a long-distance relationship though? There's a good chance she is fucking other guys, no matter how sweet you think she is. You could agree to pick up where you left off when you are both living in the same area. Just an idea. In the meantime you can practice your pickup skills, get better at dating and seeing what else is out there.

I hope you make the right choice. Be strong!

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